I put myself in marriage "Time Out"

When hubby and I have a heated discussion and anger takes control, I put myself in time out. For me, that is the best solution. We live in the same house and I have not seen him in 2 days - no communication. Can anyone relate?
Well yes and no. My wife and I have been married for 53 years, we can have some very serious "domestics," Read that as rows, or falling out. Luckily, we made a pact in our early years together that we would never go to bed on an unresolved argument. So we always kiss and make up. Truly, we have never let an argument fester. I do hope that you both resolve your issues.
 

I often had to do that in my marriage because my husband had so many issues left over from previous marriages. There is no way to resolve anything when the other person sees everything you say and then do as a personal attack. I was the one who needed space so I'd take a break for my own sanity..
 
My partner and I have been together for 30 years. We have occasional spats and don't talk to each other for a couple of hours, but then we just move on. (Almost all of them are about my aggressive driving and use of the horn.:ROFLMAO:) We are both stubborn and opinionated, so it is actually rare that either one of us apologizes, but we just agree to disagree and realize we enjoy each others' company a lot more than we enjoy being apart. It has somehow worked.
 
My partner and I have been together for 30 years. We have occasional spats and don't talk to each other for a couple of hours, but then we just move on. (Almost all of them are about my aggressive driving and use of the horn.:ROFLMAO:) We are both stubborn and opinionated, so it is actually rare that either one of us apologizes, but we just agree to disagree and realize we enjoy each others' company a lot more than we enjoy being apart. It has somehow worked.
I would work on the driving & the horn. That could end badly these days. And it has.
 
When hubby and I have a heated discussion and anger takes control, I put myself in time out. For me, that is the best solution. We live in the same house and I have not seen him in 2 days - no communication. Can anyone relate?
Two days is a long time, especially as we get older. Don't waste it on anger. Anger is also not good for your blood pressure. Make up and move on. Life is too short.
 
Play the Widow Game, as made up by Dr. Joyce Brothers. Pretend & believe he is dead and how you feel about being without him.

Wish I had my husband around to get mad at. How about you?
LOL!
I almost played the "Widower Game." During an argument after she cheated on me & I called her some......."Appropriate" names, she tried to make me feel guilty by saying, "You make me feel so bad, I just want to kill myself."
That didn't work. I said, "Really?" Then I handed her a gun & said, "Do it outside so you don't mess up our nice house."
 
When hubby and I have a heated discussion and anger takes control, I put myself in time out. For me, that is the best solution. We live in the same house and I have not seen him in 2 days - no communication. Can anyone relate?
Not personally, but if it works for you both!! I do know, though, some people would take it as abandonment.

Not entirely off-topic: last night I happened to walk in on an episode of that old sitcom 'Bewitched." The topic was "poking fun" or "making fun of" psychobabble approaches, which, considering when the show was aired, was probably a new thing.

It started by one of the characters saying there was a "psychiatrist" who was "teaching married couples how to fight."
So, various characters jumped on it when Samantha accidentally gave away one of her husband's favorite jackets: "It's not about the jacket- it's what the jacket represents."
They went on to encourage Samantha and Darren to examine the reasons they liked each other to wear certain colors- saying preferences for certain colors showed how they felt about being married...

It was kind of a way of showing how foolish that stuff is- not only time-consuming, but encouraging people to see problems where none existed in the first place.
 
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When hubby and I have a heated discussion and anger takes control, I put myself in time out. For me, that is the best solution. We live in the same house and I have not seen him in 2 days - no communication. Can anyone relate?
There are positives, "believe it or not", in having had a heated argument, (loveless marriages mean neither side any longer can be bothered to care about whatever differences arise is my view), so as long as you're fundamentally compatible, this impasse should resolve itself, perhaps aided by both sides climbing down a little. :)
 
I told my late husband once that we are both individuals who are bound to have different opinions about some things. And instead of arguing about those differences, we should learn from them. What we learn might come in handy some day. If we put some value on our differences, there is no need to argue about them.

I remember watching two little girls playing on a blanked in one's front yard. They were both about 4yrs old. Suddenly their play turned into a fight. One of those slappy slappy hand fights. The mother of one came out and broke up 'the fight of the century'. I heard her say that they had spent too much time together and needed a time out.

Perhaps this happens in marriages, also. Too much time stuck together in the same room and a time out might help a lot.
 
Not personally, but if it works for you both!! I do know, though, some people would take it as abandonment.

Not entirely off-topic: last night I happened to walk in on an episode of that old sitcom 'Bewitched." The topic was "poking fun" or "making fun of" psychobabble approaches, which, considering when the show was aired, was probably a new thing.

It started by one of the characters saying there was a "psychiatrist" who was "teaching married couples how to fight."
So, various characters jumped on it when Samantha accidentally gave away one of her husband's favorite jackets: "It's not about the jacket- it's what the jacket represents."
They went on to encourage Samantha and Darren to examine the reasons they liked each other to wear certain colors- saying preferences for certain colors showed how they felt about being married...

It was kind of a way of showing how foolish that stuff is- not only time-consuming, but encouraging people to see problems where none existed in the first place.
You've reminded me of an episode of the Oprah Winfrey show, where "Phil" the guy called upon to advise couples going through marital trouble, asked them all to list the priorities in their lives.

The strange/amazing thing was that basically compatible couples, (those who benefitted from taking part in the show, and were still together twelve months later), had allowed their relationship with their wives/husbands to slip in their list of priorities "to number five or six" without realising this was where they were going wrong, and it came like a bolt from the blue when it was pointed out! :)
 
Again a good example of there is no One size fits all .....
many people i know take a break and maybe not talk or see each other for days
If it works for you great some cool off absorb some of the fight and can come back with perspective ...
if the break is just postponing the inevitable maybe it it better to just deal with the issues.

I found most serious discussion needs both parties to make it work and even if one person feel things need fixed.....
if the other doesn't see it a time out may wake the other person to say..." oh this is a bigger deal then i thought."
 
When I get really angry (which doesn't happen often because I am very slow to anger) I will take myself away from Ron and go for a walk, fuss with my houseplants, dig in the garden, or whatever, till I find some calm. That usually takes half an hour. I couldn't imagine an issue going on for two days.

I also can't just set an issue aside and move on. Whatever the issue, it gets talked about till it gets resolved, otherwise those unresolved issues can lead to resentments and triggers that make future arguments blow up much worse than they really should, because they depend for a lot of their force on the earlier unresolved issues.
 

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