I was verbally Abused Yesterday

It is emotionally hard not to respond to a human being in distress. And so is rejection. Since she was called a "beggar", I bet she called you a word, which also starts with a "B". I guess its a duel to see who was verbally abused.
 

I've occasionally given money to street people and also helped people in a grocery store if they're a bit short so they don't have to put something back.

But I have my limits. Once a nicely dressed young woman approached me downtown and said she needed another $5 so she could take a taxi to the airport. Um...no. :rolleyes:
 
I remember back in the 60's street folk played music on the London Underground train system and sit or stand singing and playing instruments and have a bowl for money. This was banned some years ago I think. I could never see any harm in it myself.
There was the Happy Wanderers who performed in the streets in the West End of London in the 50's and were brilliant and well loved
 

One of the most interesting first dates I had:
I was 20, she was 18. We planned on a movie. We wanted to get some snacks first so I parked in a market parking lot. A guy approached my car & said, "We're really hungry; can you spare a couple of bucks for food?" A very skinny girl stood a few feet behind him.
I said, "No."
My date said "Well, that wasn't very nice...why couldn't you give them a dollar....they're probably starving."
I said, "Do you really think they want food? They're probably both drug addicts or alcoholics & if I gave them money, I'd be hurting them. I'll tell you what. How about we skip the movie & follow them around while they collect money, then we'll see what they buy?"
She said, "You're on....you'll see that they're hungry."

We watched them collect money from several people in the parking lot, then they went into the market. My date said, "See? They're buying food."
They came out of the store with a big bag, we watched them walk to the side of the building, he pulled out a case of beer & a couple of bottles of wine. My date learned at lot that day.

Ya know, I'm no genius, but I don't understand why some people believe whatever someone tells them.
Can we really expect every panhandler to say, "Hi. I'm broke & I need cocaine, meth, or alcohol....can you spare a few bucks?"
 
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Pepper said:
I fail to see where you were "abused" Mike. Maybe you had an unpleasant experience, but you're going a bit far calling yourself abused. If anyone were abused, it seems you started the name calling.
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The contact started earlier than I started it in my post Pepper.

My friend and I were deep in conversation when the woman
approached with the young woman from the counter hanging
on to het arm trying to pull her away, when she started I was
still speraking to my friend and she shouted, "Hoi I am speaking
to you", in my book that is verbal abuse since I wasn't with her.

Pan handlers as you call them in America are not aggressive,
they sit where they are and just hope, some have become more
modern in their approach and have contactless machines for
people who don't use/carry money, they offer the machine for
you to put in the amount that you wish to give them, then you
tap your card and it goes to their bank account.
https://www.theargus.co.uk/news/178...brighton-now-accepting-payments---debit-card/

They don't start with, "Hoi".

Mike.
 
fmdog44 said:
Mike, you must think a great deal of yourself saying, "I don't speak to beggars." I assume that comes from being a part of the royal family. If you don't speak to beggars why then did you say that to her? That makes you a liar .
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I don't know how to answer this, but I need to tell them
that I am not a soft touch.

Mike,
 
applecruncher said:
True, exchanging words escalates the problem. Never know, they might have a weapon and nothing to lose.

Husband of a friend was spit on by a panhandler. He was tempted to punch the guy out, but wisely walked away and cleaned himself.
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That husband was lucky that he didn't have a cut in his face and that the panhandler didn't have HIV. That was grounds for ''assault''. But, he did the wise thing by walking away, the guy could have had a knife or something.
 
CrackerJack said:
I remember back in the 60's street folk played music on the London Underground train system and sit or stand singing and playing instruments and have a bowl for money. This was banned some years ago I think. I could never see any harm in it myself.
There was the Happy Wanderers who performed in the streets in the West End of London in the 50's and were brilliant and well loved
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Our subway system here in Toronto, allow musicians to play their music in the underground. They have to pay for a license to do so. Some have dogs. Many seem to have been professional musicians, and many are from other countries. It livens up the otherwise boring commute to wherever.
 
Catlady said:
That husband was lucky that he didn't have a cut in his face and that the panhandler didn't have HIV. That was grounds for ''assault''. But, he did the wise thing by walking away, the guy could have had a knife or something.
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Exactly. Most people who are panhandling are homeless so desperation comes into play. Desperate people do desperate things. No it’s not right. No it’s not fair. It’s reality and is what it is.

If you choose not to help with the request, which you have every right to do, there’s no sense adding salt to the wound.

Clearly this woman was hurting. To cry victim after an uncomfortable confrontation which you both took part in, is a bit unfair.
 
Pinky said:
Our subway system here in Toronto, allow musicians to play their music in the underground. They have to pay for a license to do so. Some have dogs. Many seem to have been professional musicians, and many are from other countries. It livens up the otherwise boring commute to wherever.
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Yes and some of those musicians are incredibly good. Some people actually choose to be homeless. They seem to like the freedom of it.

I didn’t realize they needed a license to do this.
These are the types of people that I’d be more willing to help out. Of course not all these musicians are homeless.

People who put an effort to try and help themselves is much more appealing than aggressive pan handling. I never give to people who pressure me.
 
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Mike said:
I don't know how to answer this, but I need to tell them
that I am not a soft touch.

Mike,
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Try "respect" regardless of a person's situation. There are several ways to handle encounters like these and your choice says more about you than the "beggar" as you call her.
 
Around these parts, you'll see panhandlers at some of the highway exits. In the car, we keep bottled water and granola bars in a ziplock bag and will offer that to them in lieu of money. Some of the panhandlers refuse the offer.

I volunteered at a food pantry a few times. My first visit I was told to use a permanent marker to draw a line through the bar codes of the canned goods so they couldn't be returned to the store.
 
Gardenlover said:
Around these parts, you'll see panhandlers at some of the highway exits. In the car, we keep bottled water and granola bars in a ziplock bag and will offer that to them in lieu of money. Some of the panhandlers refuse the offer.

I volunteered at a food pantry a few times. My first visit I was told to use a permanent marker to draw a line through the bar codes of the canned goods so they couldn't be returned to the store.
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Pan handling at highway exits I find to be extremely distracting and dangerous. It should be illegal.

It’s a shame that others will take advance of compassion & kindness. Having to mark up the codes so people don’t use the food for money is smart but sad.
 
CrackerJack said:
I remember back in the 60's street folk played music on the London Underground train system and sit or stand singing and playing instruments and have a bowl for money. This was banned some years ago I think. I could never see any harm in it myself.
There was the Happy Wanderers who performed in the streets in the West End of London in the 50's and were brilliant and well loved
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It's not banned now, I hadn't even realised that it had been... we see them all the time busking in the streets and in the underground... it's totally legal :D

https://www.icmp.ac.uk/blog/busking-essential-guide-busk-london
https://tfl.gov.uk/corporate/about-tfl/culture-and-heritage/busking
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2_Aymee-this-one.jpg
 
Keesha said:
Pan handling at highway exits I find to be extremely distracting and dangerous. It should be illegal.

It’s a shame that others will take advance of compassion & kindness. Having to mark up the codes so people don’t use the food for money is smart but sad.
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we don't have panhandling here, that IS illegal...however I have seen it on tv and I agree with you I do think it's dangerous..
 
fmdog44 said:
Try "respect" regardless of a person's situation. There are several ways to handle encounters like these and your choice says more about you than the "beggar" as you call her.
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In my opinion, respect is a two-way street, you have to give it to get it. If someone comes up to me and says, 'Hey, I need money!', you better believe they won't be getting any. If a panhandler respects your space, doesn't interfere with your privacy and asks nicely and sincerely, then they may get some money out of it. I once had a young punk hit me up for change on the street, he didn't look homeless at all. I reached in my pocket and gave him two quarters, all the change I had. He came up in my face and said he needed more, that wouldn't even pay for his bus fare. He was so aggressive and snotty, I told him off with a few choice words and told him to get a job then. I'm kind, but not anyone's doormat.
 
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