If A Woman Punches A Man, and He Hits Her Back, Is He Wrong?

SeaBreeze

SeaBreeze

Endlessly Groovin'
Location
USA
First let me say that I don't think that any person has the right to physically assault another, unless in the case of self defense. I worked with a woman who said if she hits her husband, he'd better not hit her back, because she's a woman.

Another case I knew of was an abused husband, whose wife was always aggressively punching, hitting, biting and even stabbing him. He never hit her back, and never left her because he loved her.

I would never tolerate any physical abuse in my relationships, life is way too short to for that. I would leave right away if I had to, or if needed, fight back until I could leave.

I've always been of the mindset that if I ever hit my husband/boyfriend, I would expect to be hit back. Being a woman gives me no special rights to attack a man, or to be protected from retaliation if I did. I respect my husband, and would never do that, but there are a lot of couples out there who get physical, many times for petty things.

What do you think? Is a man ever justified in hitting a woman that just punched him....or is he obligated to hold back just because she's female?
 

no ive never hit a woman even though some ticked me off. ie my X was a mean SOB and she's the only one i came close to knocking thru the wall
 
Did she ever hit or punch you Kc?
 

To me the first rule is to turn around and leave. But if you can't get away, then your left with defending yourself. I think this applies no matter your gender. If you must defend yourself, then do so only until you can leave the situation. :hiteachother:
 
Sea, are you talking legally or morally?

Legally, if she throws the first punch then you have a right to defend yourself. That may or may not include punching back.

Morally, most of us guys were raised with the mantra "Never hit a lady". There's a lot of wiggle room there, because in most cases if they swing at you first they aren't much of a lady.

My viewpoint is going to be a bit skewed because of my work as a strip-club bouncer. I never feared facing a man, but women? Especially the crazy dancers? In that kind of atmosphere you could be fairly certain that they would throw the first punch. As a result of that I never had any compunction about hitting a female if they tried to hit me first. Otherwise, if faced with one that was being a bit too boisterous, I would use joint-locks to subdue them - much less damage, much more controllable (progressive resistance).
 
I can see it happening as a instinctive reflex response. like ducking when something is thrown at your head. I damn near swung a round house punch at my wife when she pushed me off a curb on the street last year. She was mad at me for something.
 
Morally Sifu, strippers in a club are a whole different ballgame, especially with you as a bouncer. I mean just a regular relationship, I wouldn't punch a man in the face, but if I did, I wouldn't be shocked to get it back in return. I don't think my husband would hit me even if that happened, but if he did, I'd figure I deserved it.
 
I always think if a woman punches a man she can't physically hurt him as much as if a man punched a woman, and so if he retaliated then it should be more of a restraint..I still think that in some ways. However, a lot of women these days are now as big as men, so if she is to hit him with full force then I think the man has every right to hit back.

I really think some women can be very viscious playing on the fact that men are not supposed to hit a woman, but if a woman kicks a man in the crotch, or smacks him over the head with an iron it must be horrendously difficult to just walk away and not retaliate. All power to the men who do, they are the strong ones.

So, in essence I'm absolutely against physical violence between a woman and a man but sometimes there's little alternative!!
 
There is no justification in a man hitting a woman, EVER!!....if the woman is that bad, get out of the relationship, just like most women would
 
bulgyone said:
There is no justification in a man hitting a woman, EVER!!....if the woman is that bad, get out of the relationship, just like most women would
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Yes but it's not always domestic violence bulgyone. What if you were attacked by a woman who was a total stranger? A road rage incidence, or in a bar for example?
 
hollydolly said:
Yes but it's not always domestic violence bulgyone. What if you were attacked by a woman who was a total stranger? A road rage incidence, or in a bar for example?
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I'm sure most men could defend themselves, without resorting to hitting or punching a woman, although there are some big women about, and I mean heavy!!...I don't really know the answer hollydolly, very good question this
 
You're right bulgyone, most men could resort to restraint or something, but a lot of men don't .

I once many years ago saw a woman hit a man in a bar , first she slapped him so hard his head nearly rocked off his head, then she came at him again and punched him right in the face and he jumped up and put his arm out to protect his face while someone else tried to drag her off , she walked away and he started to leave the bar and the next thing she came at him with a broken glass..he stretched out his arm as quick as lightening and smacked her full in the face, and she was knocked out clean on the floor!! What happened?...all the women in the bar started shouting at him saying he had no right to hit a woman!! *go figure* what was he supposed to do?

Good topic by seabreeze!!
 
hollydolly said:
You're right bulgyone, most men could resort to restraint or something, but a lot of men don't .

I once many years ago saw a woman hit a man in a bar , first she slapped him so hard his head nearly rocked off his head, then she came at him again and punched him right in the face and he jumped up and put his arm out to protect his face while someone else tried to drag her off , she walked away and he started to leave the bar and the next thing she came at him with a broken glass..he stretched out his arm as quick as lightening and smacked her full in the face, and she was knocked out clean on the floor!! What happened?...all the women in the bar started shouting at him saying he had no right to hit a woman!! *go figure* what was he supposed to do?

Good topic by seabreeze!!
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Maybe...just give her a BIG KISS...might work :D:D
 
bulgyone said:
Maybe...just give her a BIG KISS...might work :D:D
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Yeah, it might work ..:D

A sports news story currently running ..
NFL football player Ray Rice of the Baltimore Ravens knocked out his fiancee in an elevator earlier this year, and dragged her out .. all caught on camera. (She hit him first)
He never got jail time, and she later married him.
The NFL only slapped him with a two game suspension, and everyone is still shaking their heads!

http://espn.go.com/nfl/story/_/id/1...avens-knocked-fiancee-unconscious-altercation
 
The key to punching any women back because she punched you first is to make sure you have a lot of witnesses before you beat the crap out of her.
Happened to me in college,she threw 1 punch to my nose I returned with 2 punches to the face and 1 to the shoulder.
I got suspended for 2 weeks for being in a fight,she got expelled for
starting the fight and throwing the first punch. I don't care what sex you are I will defend myself.
Im a mild mannered guy and it take a lot to get me really pissed off.
 
hollydolly said:
However, a lot of women these days are now as big as men, so if she is to hit him with full force then I think the man has every right to hit back.

I really think some women can be very viscious playing on the fact that men are not supposed to hit a woman, but if a woman kicks a man in the crotch, or smacks him over the head with an iron it must be horrendously difficult to just walk away and not retaliate. All power to the men who do, they are the strong ones.

So, in essence I'm absolutely against physical violence between a woman and a man but sometimes there's little alternative!!
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I agree Hollydolly, well said! I too am against violence by either party, and if the man can walk away without reacting that is best. But, if he retaliates, I do not fault him after being attacked. And yes, a lot of women are strong and capable of doing harm.

The videos were not really impressive. A woman who is just repeatedly hitting with hand everywhere, swatting with newspaper, pushing, and yacking all the time she's doing it, does not seem very threatening. I'm not surprised people walked past giggling, those guys did not look like they were even getting bruised.

Now, if they had a strong looking woman who appeared really angry, and she fake punched him in the face a couple of times 'till he fell to the ground. Then once on the ground she repeated kicked him in the groin and head, then that may have gotten a different reaction. Before a serious attack like that goes too far, I think the man has the right to hit back and stop the assault.

I'm not a man-hater, not all men are jerks at all. Some women definitely do take advantage of the fact that if the man hits back, he will be in jail, or some "hero" will come out of the woodwork and beat him up for her. Even some women with road rage are more likely to get verbally aggressive and abusive more than a man would, because it's less likely that somebody would come over to her and punch her in the face, like they would a man who did the same thing.

rkunsaw said:
The 80 year old man in another discussion was hit by the woman. He took the appropriate action.

At this stage of my life if a woman attacks me I'm gonna knock her on her ass.
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I agree with you Rkunsaw, that the 80 year old man took the appropriate reaction, as I said in the other thread, his only failure was not to take care of her while she was still in his home. I'm glad that you would knock a woman attacker down, better than getting a broken collarbone from her, or worse.
 
Davey Jones said:
The key to punching any women back because she punched you first is to make sure you have a lot of witnesses before you beat the crap out of her.
Happened to me in college,she threw 1 punch to my nose I returned with 2 punches to the face and 1 to the shoulder.
I got suspended for 2 weeks for being in a fight,she got expelled for
starting the fight and throwing the first punch. I don't care what sex you are I will defend myself.
Im a mild mannered guy and it take a lot to get me really pissed off.
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Sorry Davey but 3 punches from a man (2 to the face) to a woman sounds to me like a bit of an over reaction..don't mean to be rude..(I don't want ya hitting me lol)..but really , you say you're mild mannered and it takes a lot etc , but one hit to you from a woman and you floored her with several punches, ... what? :confused:
 
I think the real issue here is relative size.

If you're a fairly big guy with a lot of strength & body mass & the woman is significantly smaller than you, then no, you shouldn't hit her back. Unless she's hitting you with a baseball bat or something like that.

On the other hand, if you're a more average sized guy & the woman is equal to or larger than you & she wallops you first, then hey... all bets are off. A good right hook across the chin might make her think twice about hitting you again.

I used to be friends with this guy who was known for having a temper. To make things worse, he was pretty big & made his living as a block mason. Tough, fast reflexed SOB with big damned fists, who took very little crap off of anyone. Had this gal who stayed at his house with him for about a week or so. I came over one day, she was gone & there were dented in spots in a couple of his walls. I asked him what happened & he told me that they got into an argument & SHE started smashing HIS head against the wall!!!

:rofl:

So, of course I asked him what he did & said nothing. He wasn't gonna hit a woman. Mostly because he knew that if he did, he'd have been the one to go to jail for it.

But we had fun ragging him about it for awhile.
 
hollydolly said:
Sorry Davey but 3 punches from a man (2 to the face) to a woman sounds to me like a bit of an over reaction..don't mean to be rude..(I don't want ya hitting me lol)..but really , you say you're mild mannered and it takes a lot etc , but one hit to you from a woman and you floored her with several punches, ... what? :confused:
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No offense to the ladies, but if you're a guy, you should be able to fairly easily deflect any attempt at hitting you made by most women, to the point that she'll see that it's no use or just tire herself out & give up.

Of course, the smart thing to do would be to let her scratch you once, so that if she calls the cops & tries to claim you struck her for no reason, you can point to it as evidence to the contrary & threaten to charge her with assault too.
 

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