If I Had My Life To Live Over (Erma Bombeck)

SeaBreeze

SeaBreeze

Endlessly Groovin'
Location
USA
IF I HAD MY LIFE TO LIVE OVER - by Erma Bombeck
(written after she found out she was dying from cancer).

I would have gone to bed when I was
sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern
if I weren't there for the day.

I would have burned the pink candle
sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.

I would have talked less and listened more.

I would have invited friends over to
dinner even if the carpet was stained, or the sofa faded..

I would have eaten the popcorn in the 'good' living room and
worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace.

I would have taken the time to listen
to my grandfather ramble about his youth.

I would have shared more of the responsibility carried by my husband..

I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a
summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.

I would have sat on the lawn with my grass stains.

I would have cried and laughed less while watching television and more while watching life.

I would never have bought anything just because it was practical,
wouldn't show soil, or was guaranteed to last a lifetime.

Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy,
I'd have cherished every moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me
was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle..

When my kids kissed me impetuously, I
would never have said, 'Later... Now go get washed up for dinner.'
There would have been more 'I love you's, more 'I'm sorry's.'

But mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute;
look at it and really see it; live it and never give it back.. STOP SWEATING THE SMALL STUFF!

Don't worry about who doesn't like you, who has more, or who's doing what
Instead, let's cherish the relationships we have with those who do love us...
 

Erma was a fantastic writer and observer of the human condition. Her writing was often hilarious, but was also always touched with her own personal style of humanity.

Thanks for showing her wit and wisdom!
 
Just read that and i am impressed, we all have regrets of things we never did or what we never had, one for me is i was never told by my parents that they loved me, i make sure my two daughters are told every time i speak to them and they always tell me, it's important to know you are loved.:hair:
 
Likewise with you Jillaroo....
my parents, although they did love me, they never actually said it.
Nor can I remember ever being tucked into bed at night. I was raised in a family that never showed emotion such as a hug or a kiss.

My regret ?... that I never told my mum that I loved her.... or thanked her for being such a good mum. She left this world in 1988.

I now make sure that I tell my kids (aged 40 and upwards) that I love them.
 
By all accounts she was well-known twentieth-century American journalist and humorist.


Her witty columns were read, twice weekly, by thirty million readers of 900 newspapers of USA and Canada.


The majority of her 15 books became instant best sellers.


The story circulated on the Internet under the title "Cancer" was based on Bombeck's 2 December 1979 column titled "If I Had My Life to Live Over."


However, as with so many Internet-circulated items, as it was passed around from inbox to inbox, portions of it were added to, deleted, rearranged, and even reworded by various anonymous recipient


http://www.snopes.com/glurge/bombeck.asp

.
 
Terra wrote...
My regret ?... that I never told my mum that I loved her.... or thanked her for being such a good mum. She left this world in 1988.

After what our Mother put us through especially me, i can't say she was a good Mother, you were so lucky to have a good Mum Terra , i wish i had told my Dad i love him.
 
Thank you for posting that. I was a HUGE fan and have read it many times, but it's always wonderful to see it again.

As for the parents not hugging us and telling us they loved us, I find most people our age missed out on that. Our parents were of a generation that hid their emotions, at least the majority of them. I've heard it so many times, but our generation makes up for it! There are always hello and goodbye hugs with family and friends and I say "I love you" not only to family, but close friends as well, all the time. It's really sad that most of us grew up without hearing that, tho as an only child born 9 years into the marriage (and having tried for so many years,) I know I was very loved -- they just didn't say it.
 
I was lucky and took an opportunity to thank my mother for all she did for me, tell her how much I loved her, and to apologize for all the worries I put her through when I was a teen. She passed on around a year later.
 
SeaBreeze said:
I was lucky and took an opportunity to thank my mother for all she did for me, tell her how much I loved her, and to apologize for all the worries I put her through when I was a teen. She passed on around a year later.
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I'm glad you had that chance. I had it as well and told her over and over and over what a wonderful mother she was. I had many long loving talks with her, but toward the end of many Alzheimered years, I spent a couple hours in a very long and emotional goodbye with her. I sang her praises to high heaven tho I never dreamed she understood a word I was saying. She didn't recognize any of us at this point, but I wanted to do it anyway and held her hand as I talked. This gives me tears to think about, but she squeezed my hand and tears rolled down her sweet cheeks. She had not squeezed my hand in over a year and I had not seen her cry since her diagnosis many years before. SO SHE DID UNDERSTAND ME!!! I am so grateful for that.
 
Katybug, that brought a tear just reading it, so nice that she understood and squeezed your hand. Thanks for sharing that story. My mother's sister (my aunt) died from Alzheimer's many years ago, spent her last years in a nursing home. Whether someone is in a coma, or has Alzheimer's, it's always well worth it to keep communicating with them, talking with them, sharing your thoughts and emotions, etc. I recently heard of a woman who almost died, and was in a coma, saying that although she couldn't respond at all, she heard her family talking to her and to each other in her room. :sentimental:
 
SeaBreeze said:
Katybug, that brought a tear just reading it, so nice that she understood and squeezed your hand. Thanks for sharing that story. My mother's sister (my aunt) died from Alzheimer's many years ago, spent her last years in a nursing home. Whether someone is in a coma, or has Alzheimer's, it's always well worth it to keep communicating with them, talking with them, sharing your thoughts and emotions, etc. I recently heard of a woman who almost died, and was in a coma, saying that although she couldn't respond at all, she heard her family talking to her and to each other in her room. :sentimental:
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The attendants at the nursing home told me the same thing, that she wouldn't understand me, but I am convinced she heard me and understood the last talk I had with her. It will warm my heart forever. :love_heart:
 
My Auntie Elsie suffered alzheimers for quite a few years and didn't recognise anyone anymore, her sister died so her niece visited her to tell her about her sisters passing, now my Auntie Elsie had shown no emotion or even acknowledgment of what was said to her, but as soon as her niece told her that her sister had died she squeezed her hand and had tears in her eyes, so they are still there and still have the emotions it's heartbreaking for the families, and i hope i never suffer from it.
 
Jillaroo said:
My Auntie Elsie suffered alzheimers for quite a few years and didn't recognise anyone anymore, her sister died so her niece visited her to tell her about her sisters passing, now my Auntie Elsie had shown no emotion or even acknowledgment of what was said to her, but as soon as her niece told her that her sister had died she squeezed her hand and had tears in her eyes, so they are still there and still have the emotions it's heartbreaking for the families, and i hope i never suffer from it.
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That warms my heart, Jillaroo. I knew I wasn't imagining what I experienced that evening with my mom. It was real! And your post is even more confirmation. Thank you so much, as I'm not sure anyone else totally believes me knowing the condition she had been in for so long.

It is such horrible affliction and I know it's genetic. Every time I forget the least little thing, I'm sure I have it, and it's so worrisome. When someone of a generation younger says they have forgotten anything in anyway, I breathe a little sigh of relief.
 
Katybug said:
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That warms my heart, Jillaroo. I knew I wasn't imagining what I experienced that evening with my mom. It was real! And your post is even more confirmation. Thank you so much, as I'm not sure anyone else totally believes me knowing the condition she had been in for so long.

It is such horrible affliction and I know it's genetic. Every time I forget the least little thing, I'm sure I have it, and it's so worrisome. When someone of a generation younger says they have forgotten anything in anyway, I breathe a little sigh of relief.
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I am the same as you Katybug my short term memory is shocking, i am forgetting names and where i have left items etc, i am getting concerned . But they say if you don't sleep well it can affect your memory and as i have intense headaches 24/7 that may also contribute to the memory loss, i am hoping that's all it is.
 
Jillaroo said:
I am the same as you Katybug my short term memory is shocking, i am forgetting names and where i have left items etc, i am getting concerned . But they say if you don't sleep well it can affect your memory and as i have intense headaches 24/7 that may also contribute to the memory loss, i am hoping that's all it is.
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Lack of sleep affects everything, but the process of simply getting older affects it as well. Short term memory loss is happening to every single person I know, many much younger than me, so I try to remind myself of that. We can't all have Alzheimers! (wink!) Also, I'm a 20 year breast cancer survivor and CHEMO BRAIN is for real. Happened when I was 50 and my brain power disappeared drastically. I've read so many articles confirming this, so I try to reassure myself with that.
 
Katybug, great to hear that you are a cancer survivor, congrats! I take a spoonful of coconut oil, and a good omega 3 fish oil every day, they say that that helps in the prevention of dementia. I didn't have a great memory when I was young really, so I'm kind of use to forgetting some things, I make lists when shopping, etc., and stuff like that helps.
 
SeaBreeze said:
Katybug, great to hear that you are a cancer survivor, congrats! I take a spoonful of coconut oil, and a good omega 3 fish oil every day, they say that that helps in the prevention of dementia. I didn't have a great memory when I was young really, so I'm kind of use to forgetting some things, I make lists when shopping, etc., and stuff like that helps.
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Seabreeze, I have to make notes to my notes, they're endless. Every single thing that I'm sure I'll forget goes into a note. Most of the time I remember w/o them, but not always. I put them in my car directly in front of me in the panel of speedometer, etc. where I can't miss seeing them. It's that bad, and I've been doing it for so long that if it's Alzheimers, it's a very slow progression. Again, I'm convinced mine is largely due to the after effects of chemo and my dr totally agrees since it's been going on since the treatments began 20 yrs. ago.

What amounts of fish & coconut oil per day? I need all the help I can get. If it helps even a little bit, it would be worth it. Thx in advance for sharing.
 
That's true that our parent's generation weren't big on gestures of affection. My parents were cold fish that way, can't ever remember a cuddle from Dad and not too many from Mum either. I was lucky that 2 of Mum's younger brothers lived with us and they were more like my 'big' brothers and I got hugs and sympathy from them, they were my 'go-to' guys. One of them even hid mum's feather duster so she couldn't lay it around my legs. (not that I probably didn't deserve it, I was a stubborn brat)

I was sole carer for Mum in later life and while having one of our many rows she said "I don't know why you stay around, you'll get the house eventually anyway." I told her "I really didn't know either, maybe because you're my mother and it's out of love or something." She just looked at me strangely as though that had never occurred to her. She was like that though, a lot of life came as a shock to her, she wasn't a deep thinker.

She never did say she loved me though. The best I got was a "thank you for looking after me" as she was dying. Which was strange as 5 minutes before she had told me off for not doing something more about what ailed her. I was presumably expected to cure old age. Oh well.

While cleaning out her things I found her little notebook with some quotes she liked and "Love you ****" scrawled in it. That had to be enough I guess. Would have been nicer to hear though.
 
Katybug said:
What amounts of fish & coconut oil per day? I need all the help I can get. If it helps even a little bit, it would be worth it. Thx in advance for sharing.
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I take one tablespoon full of Now Lemon Flavored Liquid Omega 3 Fish Oil, it's from Norway and it's the natural triglyceride form, which is preferred. I also take one tablespoon full of Nature's Way Efa Gold Organic Extra Virgin Coconut Oil with 62% MCT (the good fats), and it is unrefined. I was putting the coconut oil in my coffee, but I couldn't add as much as I wanted to. Now I just put a spoonful in my mouth, swish it around until it's melted, and swallow. Also, excellent for teeth and gums since it's anti-bacterial, anti-fungal, etc.
 
Good for you Katy my brother also beat it through dedication, he went off all processed foods and of course he had chemo but i feel the rubbish that is put in our food is the main cause of all these cancers, and the more alternaltive goodies we can consume the better our health will be. I have some pure MSM that i keep forgetting to take along with lots of vitamins etc, i shall have to put them on the bench to remind me to take them.
 

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