Ummm. Doing that nice thing of offering transport and help with shopping can snowball to nightmare proportions.
Been there, done that! It started as a favour for one of Mum's old friends. Lovely lady and well deserving of a hand but unfortunately it didn't stop there. Mum opened her big mouth and told her other card playing old crones not to hesitate to let us know if they ever needed help that way too. (Gee thanks, would've been nice to have at least asked me!)
While 'the chosen one' was very thoughtful, always ready to go when I pulled up, had her grocery list in aisle order, was great company and did her own trolley filling, the others took the invitation as a free, on call, taxi and slave service.
They kept me waiting, engine idling, as long as they felt entitled to. They'd call to ask me to pick up something, a litre of milk 'n such and deliver it to their door. They were nothing short of hell in the supermarket with the "oh, could you just find ...whatever.. for me dear, I must have missed it" meanwhile they'd stand chatting while I filled their whole grocery order, one item at a time!
Then when I got them home I was carrying everything in, packing it in cupboards and wondering why the hell my back kept giving out on me. They would regale me with tales of playing 21 ends of outdoor bowls in 30+ temps last Tuesday while having me do their cupboard stacking for them! The old buggers were in better nick than I was, no way I'd have survived 21 ends outdoors in the sun!
The 'walk' to the bus stop one door down from one old dear where she caught a bus to the cits centre was just too much for her suddenly and I would be summoned to deposit her at the door. My life was even less my own than ever and even though Mum by that time was to unwell to do shopping trips, and the card games had long ceased, I was still lumbered with the clingers.
This went on until the original friend moved to aged care and that's when I planted the foot firmly. There was a domestic disturbance of fair proportion over my withdrawal from pandering to her old friends who no longer even bothered to call on her, or even phone to talk to her, they only wanted to talk to me about when I could pick them up! She never did see through them, but then she wasn't doing the work!
Would you believe only one of her 5 'friends' ever bothered to even send us a Christmas card once the favours were withdrawn?
Unless you treat it as a strictly cash business you won't find any friends doing that sort of volunteering you will only find clingers. .. and believe me they can really drag you down. Don't let it get personal or 'friendly' or it will quickly become a duty, not a favour.
It's not that they are bad people, it's simply human nature kicking in as survival tactic for the otherwise helpless. Emotional blackmail is pretty much the only ammunition they have left and believe me they are crack shots with it.
