In general, do women add more to their communications than men do?

debodun

debodun

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way upstate in New York, USA
My aunt has surgery earlier this week. She has a son and daughter. I sent an email to both cousins asking about my aunt's condition. My female cousin sent me a 3 paragraph reply, some about my aunt but more on what a hardship this has been for her (my cousin). My male cousin just said, "Doing better." I was wondering if men are more terse when communicating than women.
 

Absolutely, they get to the point and move on. Women are much more likely to go into details leading up to event before they share that event, and then explaining any effects the event may have. One of the differences between men and women that I've found to be very true, even in my own life.
 

Yes, women definitely add to their communication. Every once in awhile I will post something on Craig's list to sell. Sometimes I get an email regarding the item. Without even looking at the name at the end of the email I can tell if it is a man or a women. The men write, "you got it yet?" When can I come? Or, I'll be there in an hour. The women go into who they are, where they live, single,divorced, why they want it, how long have I had it? On and on and on. One of these days I'm afraid one of them is going to tell me if she has had her morning bowel movement yet.
 
I'm not sure but my brother's e mails cause me so much stress, I can't really even put it into words.

When my mother was first faced with health problems a year before she died and was in and out of the hospital, I started getting e mails from my brother 3000 miles away stating I wasn't doing enough and then making comments like "that's why I'm glad I'm far away" And then bringing up things he could have asked me for 25 years but didn't and then at this time brought them up. Things like "I don't understand why you don't talk to Tom" Our oldest brother who I haven't spoken to since I was 24. He had 25 years to ask me this but then brought it up in the same e mail when he was 3000 miles away and I wasn't doing enough.

Then a few weeks ago I got a message on my voice mail my brother left stating he had tried to call our step father a number of times at the same time and he never picked up (my step father uses the hearing impaired phone) So I sent him a e mail stating give me a day and time and I'll tell our step father to be available and watch for the phone to light up. I get a reply e mail from my brother stating again "I've tried to call at the same time for a week and he never answers" He said nothing regarding my idea. When I wrote back he stated that wouldn't work for him and "sorry to bother you"

He sent me another email recently with another request regarding our step father and I just ignored it. I can't endure his e mails.
 
It's back to that forward that talked about boxes verses spaghetti. Men have things in boxes - compartmentalized. When needed they open the box. When done, they put it back and nail it shut. Women have spaghetti minds, with a one strand becoming inter-tangled with another and another, ad infinitum. That's why asking about the cat can lead to a conversation about what's wrong with the car. I'm trying to learn more about boxes. It's a struggle at times.
 
Some men/women can do both. My son and I, for example. Lol. Literal/lateral/linear/stream of consciousness. Sooo much fun. I keep dragons in boxes, to use a Chinese term, super compartmentalised, but can also build a castle of verbal spaghetti.
 
IMHO it's not based on if you can stand up to pee easily. It's personality, I've always been of few words and let's get to the point. Last time I checked I am a woman...although I do talk to gentlemen far easier than other women sometimes. HOWEVER...being an English major I can ramble for volumes in print;)
 
Kitties said:
I'm not sure but my brother's e mails cause me so much stress, I can't really even put it into words.

When my mother was first faced with health problems a year before she died and was in and out of the hospital, I started getting e mails from my brother 3000 miles away stating I wasn't doing enough and then making comments like "that's why I'm glad I'm far away" And then bringing up things he could have asked me for 25 years but didn't and then at this time brought them up. Things like "I don't understand why you don't talk to Tom" Our oldest brother who I haven't spoken to since I was 24. He had 25 years to ask me this but then brought it up in the same e mail when he was 3000 miles away and I wasn't doing enough.

Then a few weeks ago I got a message on my voice mail my brother left stating he had tried to call our step father a number of times at the same time and he never picked up (my step father uses the hearing impaired phone) So I sent him a e mail stating give me a day and time and I'll tell our step father to be available and watch for the phone to light up. I get a reply e mail from my brother stating again "I've tried to call at the same time for a week and he never answers" He said nothing regarding my idea. When I wrote back he stated that wouldn't work for him and "sorry to bother you"

He sent me another email recently with another request regarding our step father and I just ignored it. I can't endure his e mails.
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Is he your younger brother?

Back to the original post in this thread --

IME men tend to send much shorter texts than women, as a rule. They also leave out the smileys, exclamation points, and sometimes even the LOLs (but I think they have been clued in that an LOL can help lighten the terseness of the rest of their text).
 
You don't have to be a scientist to know the answer to that one, but according to the research, women use about 20,000 words per day. Men use 7,000.
 
Guitarist said:
I love this:

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Yes! Oh yes! My wife and I watched this together and :rofl:. If you are a couple and haven't seen this before, I recommend you watch it together. A little male biased perhaps, but just filled with truisms that we all recognize. Thank you for this, Guitarist,
 
He's got a lot more videos on YouTube from that same seminar, I think there are at least a couple of hours' worth of them. "Laugh Your Way to Better Marriage." I really like this guy.
 
I think some people are capable of both verbosity and almost autistic brevity.

Not tooting my own horn, but Shali will affirm that I can charm the birds out the trees with my golden tongue, and the next moment be a sullen little boy who is monosyllabic.

It all depends upon the situation.
 
SifuPhil said:
I think some people are capable of both verbosity and almost autistic brevity.

Not tooting my own horn, but Shali will affirm that I can charm the birds out the trees with my golden tongue, and the next moment be a sullen little boy who is monosyllabic.

It all depends upon the situation.
Click to expand...

I used to have a friend like that. Unfortunately, he wasn't as good at listening as he could be at talking, and started setting rules about what I could and could not talk about so I wouldn't bore him or annoy him and "make" him sulk. But oh, he could be a silver-tongued angel when he chose to.


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I heard the spaghetti thing about women, but also heard that men's minds were like waffles in a food analogy. I guess that compares to boxes since waffles have squares, each holding its own portion of syrup.
 
You got a big fat Yes from Kitty.

And, Kitty - I'm sorry your brother is giving you grief. Maybe you should move his emails directly to Trash.
 

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