Insults aren't what they used to be....

jujube

jujube

SF VIP
Location
I think I'm in Florida, but I'm not sure any more.
A friend sent me these:

These insults are from an era before the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words. Insults then, had some class!

1. "I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play;
Bring a friend, if you have one."
George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill.

"Cannot possibly attend first night, I will attend the second...If there is one."
- Winston Churchill, in response.

2. A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows, or of some unspeakable disease."

· "That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."

3. "He had delusions of adequacy."
- Walter Kerr

4. "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure."
- Clarence Darrow

5. "He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary."
- William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).

6."Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it."
- Moses Hadas

7. "I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved ofit."
- Mark Twain

8. "He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.."
- Oscar Wilde

9. "I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here."
- Stephen Bishop

10."He is a self-made man and worships his creator."
- John Bright

11. "I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial."
- Irvin S. Cobb

12. "He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others."
- Samuel Johnson

13. "He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up."
- Paul Keating

14. "In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily."
- Charles, Count Talleyrand

15. "He loves nature in spite of what it did to him."
- Forrest Tucker

16. "Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?"
- Mark Twain

17. "His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."
- Mae West

18. "Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."
- Oscar Wilde

19. "He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... For support rather than illumination."
- Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

20. "He has Van Gogh's ear for music."
- Billy Wilder

21. "I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it."
- Groucho Marx.

22."He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."
- Winston Churchill
 

You’re the reason God created the middle finger.

You bring everyone so much joy when you leave the room.

I’d give you a nasty look but you’ve already got one.

Someday you’ll go far. I hope you stay there.

Were you born this stupid or did you take lessons?

The people who tolerate you on a daily basis are the real heroes.

You should really come with a warning label.

I don’t know what your problem is, but I’m guessing it’s hard to pronounce.

If I wanted to hear from an arsehole, I’d fart.

It’s kind of hilarious watching you try to fit your entire vocabulary into one sentence.

You are so full of shit, the toilet’s jealous.
 
Love those Jujube! I'll have to add some of them to my "repertoire" though I don't have occasion to insult anyone these days. They prove that one doesn't have to be vulgar to "throw shade" (the latest term for insult) at someone. Love yours too @horseless carriage. :ROFLMAO:

When a young man at the grill of a gyro take out joint wouldn't answer a simple question as to whether or not they also cooked pork products on the grill I became incensed. I asked him twice and twice he gave me a dumb a*s answer.

I got so frustrated that I told him off "good and plenty", as my sister would say. I did not raise my voice, I did not curse. I said to my husband, lets go and we walked out without buying his gyro. As soon as we got outside my husband said "Honey, your tongue is like Ginsu knives!"
 
I imagine that the French have some great insults, and have throughout history as depicted in this Monty Python clip…🙀

 

You must log in or register to reply here.

Back
Top