Is age respected anywhere in the world anymore?

Don M. said:
In our rural area, I see several examples of younger people treating Seniors nicely. They hold a door at the store, and often allows Seniors to move ahead at the checkouts...especially if the elder person has only a few items. I guess a lot depends upon the area you live in....city folks aren't nearly as "kind" as our country folks.
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I think most of the people around here treat the elderly nice in that respect.
 

Don M. said:
In our rural area, I see several examples of younger people treating Seniors nicely. They hold a door at the store, and often allows Seniors to move ahead at the checkouts...especially if the elder person has only a few items. I guess a lot depends upon the area you live in....city folks aren't nearly as "kind" as our country folks.
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That's my experience in my small town vs cities too. At laundramat, Post Office and stores. Doors get held, people will check if you're on line if close to the cashiers and not just jump into a space.

Our Post office has 2 doors we have to go thru to get inside often we kind of leap frog each other--person holds first door for me, i go thru and hold 2nd for them. If you're leaving with bulky package someone else will announce let me get those doors for you, especially if no-one about to enter who could hold at least one.

I'm short, can only reach front row of items on top shelf at local grocery. People are glad to help, recently i had tried to reach something, couldn't and scanned the aisle for an employee, but before i could move to end of aisle to look more a woman passing by asked if i needed help she was my height but volunteered her tall teenage son.
 
The first time someone held a door open for me, I was first surprised, and then irritated as I realized he did it do to my silver hair and somewhat rotund body.

I worked for a Japanese company, and I was required to travel to Tokyo multiple times. As already mentioned In Japan the elderly are treated with honor and it is primarily the grey hair that triggers that response from young adults.
 
Pepper said:
I've been that doorholder @hollydolly!
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I don't get upset if someone is trying to be nice. Save that for when you get inside and there is something to really get annoyed. Friday, I started with a simple process at the bank that finally today ended up with a lady who knew what she was doing and redid the entire process in about five minutes. It took three times and two extra trips and two days, Fri and Mon. There is a general laugh we all have around here about having to do everything over and over to get right. Just about every store or business now requires an additional trip. That's not to mention I discovered the original that was done a few months ago wasn't right and I didn't know.
 
I have to say that within our church people of advanced age are very much respected and their wisdom is highly regarded. A good friend of mine who is 83 leads off the AWANA group and his wife is a teacher for AWANA. And in our rural area I think older folks are treated with respect. As far as ALDI goes around home, usually I am the one with the full cart, so I often let others through ahead if they only have a few items.
 
Pepper said:
I always yell, don't rush. And, it's only for my neighbors, not at the, i.e. bank unless the person is right behind me and then that person will insist on going ahead of me and holding the door for me, cause I'm so decrepit looking I guess! 😩
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well I don't think I'm decrepit looking but people still hold the door open for me.. and I;m grateful for it tbh.. but I have to say it's NEVER a young person.. always someone older
 
One thing about getting older with white hair, in many
places it makes you invisible, it does to me, walking through
a shopping centre or a supermarket, several people push
past in front of me, forcing me to stop and let them pass,
or to dodge out of the way of a speeding trolley, full of
shopping, If I heard an "excuse me", I wouldn't mind, but it
is usually, "sorry", before they push through, if they speak
at all.

Mike.
 
Ive been in situations like the original poster, but I attribute it mostly to their just being oblivious. Wrapped up in finishing that errand, move onto next one and the next. And true overall of the teens & younger adults. Just in their own world.
I’m on a walker & where I’ve most always been offered help is when I’m putting things in an out of the car. Doors too. And it’s usually from, I’d estimate, folks thirtyish on up and more often women than men, except for men close to my age.. I always thank them graciously, and tell them I have a system to do whatever .
 
hollydolly said:
I know what you mean. Sometimes people get too helpful.. they stand holding the door almost with a martyred look on their face.. even tho' you might be 30 feet away.. I almost always feel like saying , don't hold the door, I'm too far away and I don't want to rush to get there because you're looking pained holding the door open
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...looking to be a universal affliction! :unsure:
 
Sometimes it's ageism and sometimes it's just people oblivious to anything but what they're focused on.

People usually hold the door for each other at the convenience store. Like Holly said, you can be ten feet away and someone will hold it. I can't explain why. One evening, during lockdown, I went to the grocery store for water. They'd been out of stock, but I knew they'd gotten a delivery, so I hurried over. The store was basically empty except for a few customers because it was late. There was a man standing by the water. When I went to pick up a case, he came right over and said, "Let me do that for you." That's unusual because I always buy cases of water and plenty of guys see me struggling to load them into my cart or car but never offer to help me. Mind you, I don't look decrepit, but I'm petite, a lightweight, and those cases of 35 bottles are heavy. I can manage on my own, but it would be nice if someone would offer a hand. I never expect it, so I'm not disappointed when it doesn't happen.

I've always let people with just a few items go ahead of me in the check out. It's not a problem. If somebody pushes in front of me or tries to get ahead in line, I can be pretty vocal and have no trouble speaking up about it. I might be small, but I have a big mouth and use it when necessary.

On the other hand, if I see someone who needs help, I don't hesitate to offer it. Man or woman, young or old, it doesn't matter. It's just having respect for people in general and not age-specific. It's called being a human being and being aware of others around you and not just being focused on yourself.

Bella ✌️
 
oldman said:
When I would ride the bus in cities where I would have to stay over after my flight, I noticed in some cities the bus had signs posted stating that the first two rows of seats on each side of the aisle were reserved for handicap and seniors. Guess who is sitting in those seats?
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ROTFLMAO but that's just plain Not Right!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
Once upon a time, there was this behavior known as "common courtesy." It was just the norm that folks were considerate to the elderly, the disabled, the pregnant. I still practice common courtesy and am grateful when I am shown common courtesy by others. I would never take courtesy as an insult.

Would I be miffed if someone with a full cart pushed in front of me when I'm juggling a gallon of milk and 3 cans of dog food? Yes.

On a side-note, how long has it been since a gentleman stood when a lady approached a table or departed?
 
Em in Ohio said:
On a side-note, how long has it been since a gentleman stood when a lady approached a table or departed?
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I can tell you exactly how long its been. About ten years ago, my husband and I were on vacation in the Dominican Republic. At the beach earlier in the week, we met a young man from Mexico City, named Caesar, who was staying at the same hotel. When I say young man, I mean young enough to be our son. He was there for a friend's wedding, and he was by himself. One evening, when we went to dinner, we saw him seated at a table alone. We walked over to say hello, and he immediately stood up, shook my husband's hand, and asked us to join him for dinner. We were happy to do so.

He immediately pulled out my chair and then seated himself. At some point, I excused myself to go to the powder room. He immediately stood up. My husband looked at him and then at me and also stood up, lol. When I came back to the table, Caesar stood up again, along with my husband. And that's the last time a man stood up as I approached or departed from a table. My husband and I had a discussion about it afterwards, and a laugh about him also standing up. This was customary behavior for Caesar.

The first time a man stood up it was my stepfather. He, of course, didn't do it at home but when we were out to dinner he and my brother always stood when my mother and I approached or departed the table. My brother was also taught to help me on and off with my coat and walk on the curb side of the street. He might not have been a young gentleman but he sure acted like it when we were out. 😆

Bella ✌️
 
I wouldn't call this an ageism situation. I would just say that some people are considerate and some aren't. If I have 10 items and someone behind me has 2 items I will ask them if they want to go ahead of me. There are still areas of Dallas where people are "old school" polite, which is one of the things that attracted me to this city. As Dallas continues to gentrify, manners tend to go out the window but there is still some sense of civility here.
 
I think there are two threads running concurrently here. One is broadly on politeness/manners/consideration of others/gallantry and the other is ageism. I took the OP's comment to address how older people are seen and treated. I keyed in on the 'older' issue versus the politeness. Perhaps the OP's issue wasn't an ageism situation but I still stand by my statement that older people are invisible in society.

It just so happens that this came across my Instagram this evening:

In the U.S., age prejudice has been called one of the most socially-condoned and institutionalized forms of prejudice, and a 2021 United Nations report suggests half of the world's entire population holds ageist attitudes.

https://www.npr.org/2022/06/24/1107...m-define-you-how-to-enjoy-life-at-every-stage
 
Leann said:
I think there are two threads running concurrently here. One is broadly on politeness/manners/consideration of others/gallantry and the other is ageism. I took the OP's comment to address how older people are seen and treated. I keyed in on the 'older' issue versus the politeness. Perhaps the OP's issue wasn't an ageism situation but I still stand by my statement that older people are invisible in society.

It just so happens that this came across my Instagram this evening:

In the U.S., age prejudice has been called one of the most socially-condoned and institutionalized forms of prejudice, and a 2021 United Nations report suggests half of the world's entire population holds ageist attitudes.

https://www.npr.org/2022/06/24/1107...m-define-you-how-to-enjoy-life-at-every-stage
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I chose not to post this earlier, but based on your post I will share it.

My company, with over 3000 employees, laid off 50% of its' employees when Covid hit. Our CEO had stood up in an executive meeting a few years before and told us he knew our ages and that we should be creating a "succession plan". I always had, hiring younger workers that were talented and could move up within the company.

I was let go at 63 y/o, with plenty of energy and lots experience and relationships within my industry. Most who were let go were over 60. Granted, we had the the longer tenure and higher salaries, but we also had the most experience. I had one employee who is a young 67 and who has been called back for numerous contracts because she is the only one who has a clue about her particular area. My younger successor is struggling to keep it together, but I wish him the best.

I was fortunate enough to be able to retire and no longer deal with the stigma Corporate America places on older workers.
 
I'm not the fastest person in the world, so when I was hurrying to get into the lift (elevator) at my solicitors office block, it really made me angry when I was within 10 feet of the lift, and a young fella who definitely saw me, then, with a cruel grin on his face, he pressed the button to shut the doors.

"I hope it gets stuck between floors you mean ba****d," I muttered to myself.

Then 10 minutes later, I walked into the solicitors waiting room, and just before I sat down, a pretty young lady came out and said, "Who is next?"

Seeing the young 'snide' from the lift stand up and smiling at the secretary, "I think you will find that that is me", I boomed, "You don't mind do you sonny", grinning at him even worse than the way he grinned at me from the lift?

I kept that solicitor talking for the best part of an hour, and on the way out, passing the young fella I quipped, "There's more than one way to skin a cat." 😊
 
I will on occasion allow people to go ahead of me but I think it would be rude to just expect it. I have let 2 people go ahead of me one time cuz they had so little. By then I'd been in line 30 min and wasn't gonna let the old lady behind me go cuz at some point I have to go home too. But @Pepper is right. If you know it's going to be too much to stand there and hold you should get a cart and not expect people to just let you cut the line. That's just not how life works. Some folks do try to be kind despite it all.
 

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