Is happiness really a choice???

gruntlabor said:
Even when one is hurt or 'insulted' or disappointed in others, he can be grateful that they have shown him their true thoughts.
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I've been through this recently.

Even when they hurl every flaw in your face (and make a few up for good measure) that doesn't mean that is really how they feel about you. More likely they felt hurt even if they were mistaken and they are just reacting poorly.

I see nothing there to be grateful for. More likely a little sad for them instead. Treating people that way seems like a road to loneliness and misery.
 
dilettante said:
I've been through this recently.

Even when they hurl every flaw in your face (and make a few up for good measure) that doesn't mean that is really how they feel about you. More likely they felt hurt even if they were mistaken and they are just reacting poorly.

I see nothing there to be grateful for. More likely a little sad for them instead. Treating people that way seems like a road to loneliness and misery.
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One could be grateful for the essential lesson to wit and as follows: Never speak in anger.
 

chic said:
Ultimately, yes it is but in certain circumstances self care is definitely advised. It's hard to try to choose happiness when you're wading through overwhelming stress and grief so don't. This is when it's time to take "me time" to recover enough so that choosing happiness becomes and option again. It's just too tough to jump from extreme to extreme and remain sane. I do feel happiness is within ourselves through our thoughts.

What is your take on this? Do you believe we are the authors of our happiness?
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I think happiness is a myth.
 
For all you denying happiness...

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CallMeKate said:
I know you're trying hard, David, but the most unhappy depressed people in the world can make "purty smiles" just like those. Happiness is not in a smile, it's internal. It can be faked with a big ol' smile, however. 🤷‍♀️
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As I wrote they are down within Maslov's Pyramid of Needs, lower 3 levels. For them happiness is indeed NOT a matter of choice. But for those in the higher 2 levels, yes it can be.
 
Happiness is drinking in the morning a cup of mocha surrounded by my pups and the sun shining into my room. Happiness is feeling wonderful good. This is the day God has made for you and me. I am grateful for it. I enjoy every minute of it. I am taking a very deep breath and feel happiness when I slowly exhale. Happiness is my choice.

My wife is already off to work. I keep bugging her to retire from her job, so we can share having our morning coffee on the patio. Today is the first day of the rest of our lives. Let's celebrate it together.

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Below is a translation of the first and last verses of "Ode to Joy" by Friedrich Schiller, written in 1785. It is best known for its use by Ludwig van Beethoven in the final (fourth) movement of his Ninth Symphony, completed in 1824

Joy, thou shining spark of God,
Daughter of Elysium,
With fiery rapture, goddess,
We approach thy shrine!
Your magic reunites those
Whom stern custom has parted;*
All men will become brothers*
Under your protective wing.

Be embraced, all ye millions!
With a kiss for all the world!
Brothers, beyond the stars
Surely dwells a loving Father.
Do you kneel before Him, oh millions?
Do you feel the Creator's presence?
Seek Him beyond the stars!
He must dwell beyond the stars.
Ode to Joy - Wikipedia

PS, what is the difference between joy and happiness? Is joy perhaps a more outgoing expression or exuberance, while happiness is a more silent and calm emotion of experiencing the same?

Also posted at: How is your day Today, plans and achievements 2024....
 
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Paco Dennis said:
"But for those in the higher 2 levels, yes it can be." Happiness is not in Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. It is possible, but not necessary for the top two levels of actualization...
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Quite true as nothing I mentioned said it was. My input merely related in essence, if one was down in the lower 3 levels, happiness broadly considered would be difficult. And provided examples in the lower levels where happiness would be difficult including a personal anecdotal example of my being in level 3 for a year plus after my mother died.

Additionally to be clear of what happiness is considered by psychology experts since others herein were obviously viewing the term narrowly, listed terse categories from one of their web pages where within that web page if one bothered to read such, was a considerable section explaining how the bullet items related to Maslov's pyramid. :)
 
David777 said:
Quite true as nothing I mentioned said it was. My input merely related in essence, if one was down in the lower 3 levels, happiness broadly considered would be difficult. And provided examples in the lower levels where happiness would be difficult including a personal anecdotal example of my being in level 3 for a year plus after my mother died.

Additionally to be clear of what happiness is considered by psychology experts since others herein were obviously viewing the term narrowly, listed terse categories from one of their web pages where within that web page if one bothered to read such, was a considerable section explaining how the bullet items related to Maslov's pyramid. :)
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Regardless of Maslow's philosophy. The question remains, and will probably for a long time, is happiness a choice? If this is a yes and no question, I won't be able to vote. This question is way too complex for any easy explanation. My take is that the body and mind can sometimes be viewed as separate, and sometimes viewed as one organ.

What makes us think we are "happy" is dependent upon our perceptions. We can at times change our behavior, and attitude at will. But, the criteria for recognizing our own happiness is dependent on the nerve messages from our body. Some people rarely think about if they are happy or not. Some people are obsessed with being happy, and there all those in-between. Maybe a little of both would be a thoughtful compromise?
 
I try to do the things I like to do. I pray I will be allowded to do the things I wish and need / have to do.
After all that being said I feel happy most of the time. Positive thought I believe overcomes a possibly
negative unhappy. I try to Look on the Bright side of Stuff. I keep from dwelling on the uncontrollable stuff.
I tend to keep an off and on Journal, say jot down the stuff I need to / want to doo next spring. Then I
cross off the stuff I do and possibly the stuff I chose not to do. Do beats not done every time. Haha
 
packleader said:
Happiness is drinking in the morning a cup of mocha surrounded by my pups and the sun shining into my room. Happiness is feeling wonderful good. This is the day God has made for you and me. I am grateful for it. I enjoy every minute of it. I am taking a very deep breath and feel happiness when I slowly exhale. Happiness is my choice.

My wife is already off to work. I keep bugging her to retire from her job, so we can share having our morning coffee on the patio. Today is the first day of the rest of our lives. Let's celebrate it together.

View attachment 327169

Below is a translation of the first and last verses of "Ode to Joy" by Friedrich Schiller, written in 1785. It is best known for its use by Ludwig van Beethoven in the final (fourth) movement of his Ninth Symphony, completed in 1824

Joy, thou shining spark of God,
Daughter of Elysium,
With fiery rapture, goddess,
We approach thy shrine!
Your magic reunites those
Whom stern custom has parted;*
All men will become brothers*
Under your protective wing.

Be embraced, all ye millions!
With a kiss for all the world!
Brothers, beyond the stars
Surely dwells a loving Father.
Do you kneel before Him, oh millions?
Do you feel the Creator's presence?
Seek Him beyond the stars!
He must dwell beyond the stars.
Ode to Joy - Wikipedia

PS, what is the difference between joy and happiness? Is joy perhaps a more outgoing expression or exuberance, while happiness is a more silent and calm emotion of experiencing the same?

Also posted at: How is your day Today, plans and achievements 2024....
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Beautiful!
 
DaiwaGuy said:
I detest positive Pollyannas.
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I thought Pollyanna was incredibly smart. Only she knew what was really going on her head while she smiled and thanked everyone and said something positive about everything thereby making people just fall in love with her as most people prefer ease to difficulty. In the end it may have served to change the course of her life for the better.

I'm much too argumentative to be this way myself, but must admit I think it does work.

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chic said:
I thought Pollyanna was incredibly smart. Only she knew what was really going on her head while she smiled and thanked everyone and said something positive about everything thereby making people just fall in love with her as most people prefer ease to difficulty. In the end it may have served to change the course of her life for the better.

I'm much too argumentative to be this way myself, but must admit I think it does work.

View attachment 327305
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Good lord, if I were 30 years younger you'd have to marry me or get a restraining order.
 
I once met an absolutely beautiful Russian Bride.
She wanted to come live with me, take care of me.
And I thought what the hell ! Never sent her the money.
She, never left Moscow. I became happily satisfied.
Living alone for years. Happy. No regrets! haha
 
Happiness varies from time to time and never identical to the time before. Best way to describe happiness is an elation of good and positive spirits. Is happiness a spirit or an emotion we are able to conjure up for ourselves? Is happiness ever evil in its making? Evil can reach a status of happiness in the misery presented to another.
Happiness is jovial, it can cause you tears as well boisterous laughter and sometimes both. Happiness is profound joy found and created by humans.
 

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