Is hate harmful to the hater?

One thing I learned from (or because of) my mother, was the ability to feel pure hatred towards some others. This has mellowed somewhat, but I've found that I do not care about these people. Mind you, if I heard that they had died horribly, I'd have a good laugh and say, "It served them right".

OK, you can now say how horrible I am.:devilish::devilish:
 

3am now, after sleeping 5 hours, a bit of insomnia. Hate is not as black and white as members have commented though we all understand what they are saying. There is much on the web discussing hate especially hate versus anger.

Will address this more later. But for now will generally vaguely state, I love good and hate evil in this world.

I hate house flies. Especially aggressive big buzzing ones that have been crawling all over some dog's fresh steaming turd outside on the lawn and when someone opened the door shot in like a little robot with an evil purpose. And now has just landed on her Thanksgiving turkey all of us were about ready to eat. 😠

Ok, also hate cockroaches, black flies, and mosquitoes. But merely don't like as in avoid poison oak because such has no mind despite being dangerous to my body.
 
David777 said:
3am now, after sleeping 5 hours, a bit of insomnia. Hate is not as black and white as members have commented though we all understand what they are saying. There is much on the web discussing hate especially hate versus anger.

Will address this more later. But for now will generally vaguely state, I love good and hate evil in this world.

I hate house flies. Especially aggressive big buzzing ones that have been crawling all over some dog's fresh steaming turd outside on the lawn and when someone opened the door shot in like a little robot with an evil purpose. And now has just landed on her Thanksgiving turkey all of us were about ready to eat. 😠

Ok, also hate cockroaches, black flies, and mosquitoes. But merely don't like as in avoid poison oak because such has no mind despite being dangerous to my body.
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Oh, yes, I HATE cockroaches and the other things you mentioned! However, I don't believe they're evil.
 

Gary O' said:

Is hate harmful to the hater?​


Hate is a cancer
That will consume the hater
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Good analogy Gary.

Hate is like venom. It poisons the person from the inside out. Absolutely. It’s anger/ bitterness/ resentment/ jealousy turned inward. It’s toxic.


I’ve got anger issues I’m currently working through with a therapist. It takes a lot of maturity and hard work but worth it.
 
hearlady said:
Oh, yes, I HATE cockroaches and the other things you mentioned! However, I don't believe they're evil.
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Indeed agree, evil is the wrong term that connotes a higher mental ability of choosing. Instead cockroaches are robot-like, animal parasites that do what they do because of evolutionary need. But they are quite aware that their victims do not like what they are going to do much like a more intelligent mammal animal, the lion, that has it jaws around a freshly clomped on baby warthog. So if one was walking across the African savanna in a loin cloth with just a stick for protection and a band of hungry hyenas appeared, they wouldn't be evil either but if they just also ate your partner, you would emotionally hate them but without considering them evil, just dangerous carnivore creatures.

On the other hand, if a group of other humans from another rival tribe caught you and laughing, staked you out over an anthill, yes that would be EVIL. So maybe that term ought be reserved for we homo sapiens and a few other highest intelligence mammals.
 
Marie5656 said:
I agree...hate can be an overused word. People "hate" so many things .......or at least over use it. I mean there have been people and things in my life I have strongly disliked..but I fall short of saying I hate them.
Not sure I would say I never use it...but I procede with caution before deciding to use it
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i made the same decision as you about the word 'hate' back when i was in my 20's. We have so many options. i may be angered, disgusted, repulsed by something or by someone's words or behaviors but to hate them is to invest at an emotional level i'm unwilling to function at so i won't do that.

But sometime in my 40s or so i realized love is also an overused word. People use it about food, clothes, forms of entertainment with no awareness even of the many forms of love: Platonic, Romantic, Familial, Agape. So i changed my way of talking about things i enjoy, find amusing/inspirational/beautiful/touching. Then along comes social media with it's limited 'reaction' choices. Which is why i often actual verbally reply rather than just 'react'. But to give folks some clue i will use the emojis. For me the Heart indicates i fully enjoy or agree with someone, the Hug one takes it more in direction of empathy, and/or stronger agreement.
 
As for the OP, i agree that hate is harmful to the hater. Extreme, prolonged anger is too but like non-phobic levels of fear anger does have uses. My personal feelings, growing out of a childhood of suppressing my emotions to spare others, is that emotions like problems can not be addressed/fixed until we full acknowledge what it is we're feeling. Sometimes familial and/or social conditioning causes us to limit our emotional options that is unhealthy as well.
 
Capt Lightning said:
One thing I learned from (or because of) my mother, was the ability to feel pure hatred towards some others. This has mellowed somewhat, but I've found that I do not care about these people. Mind you, if I heard that they had died horribly, I'd have a good laugh and say, "It served them right".

OK, you can now say how horrible I am.:devilish::devilish:
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The fact you have mellowed imo says you are not horrible...As for being happy about an awful person suffering... that is at times a characteristic of human nature. I prefer to just look at it and say Karma is real..... 😃
 
RadishRose said:
To me, "hate" is the strongest word, but unless one loves someone who has hurt them, they cannot hate. They just get angry. Or very angry.

I think love and hate are somehow tied together.

In other words, if one we care for has hurt us, unless we loved them, we don't hate them. We get angry. To be angry is normal and it dissipates after awhile.

And yes, "hate" is a very overused word. Like; I hate liver, or I hate war movies.
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I agree. When these emotions become very strong, they motivate us to doing stuff that we often times regret. Most all religions warn against letting our desires get the best of us.
 
Serenity4321 said:
Thanks so much to everyone!! My discussion also included the statement ...surely everyone has to hate rapists, criminals, terrorists, etc..IOW..those who inflict pain and suffering on others...I think even they can be seen without hatred...does anyone disagree?
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That kind of answer was going to be my next comment. The web has considerable psychology pages explaining the difference between hate and other more temporary emotions like anger. With hate, we are talking about those that do evil or at least what we as a society disagree with, knowingly choosing to do so. I don't see hatred as black and white like it is being termed but rather as a spectrum of degrees of angry dislike, how long, and how much one may feel so.

In common language we often use the term loosely in many ways. David hates Disco! Well actually that is more a laughing, smiling, name, calling response than actual emotional hate but I do use the term to indicate a feeling stronger than say not liking wearing red shirts.

I will say, one can also hate things that other humans do as groups as in a society. And yes that includes being emotional about whatever because we cannot always choose to avoid doing so with emotions serving a useful purpose. For instance I also hate aspects of our modern society without actually feeling strongly so against the individuals doing whatever because what they do is more a culturally acceptable practice of humans. After graduating from high school in 1966 expecting to otherwise enter college, I hated that a national draft began that many of we young life loving men had no way to escape from. And there was no way I would not be able to think about it. So yeah it grew into an emotional thing.

Another example. If some individual litterbug just tossed a candy bar wrapper along a hiking trail because he thought no one was looking. I would likely confront the person with a frown of disgust trying to install some guilt in the offender. Trivial indeed, so have more a "Let It Be" attitude that if I do anything would be to try to change culture and attitudes versus hate against an individual.

I also hate how our Western society economy system has resulted in much homelessness but that is even more directed at society than individuals. That emotion might spur me to vote during a following election for a political candidate that has campaigned to prevent excessive illegal border crossing immigration and Visa overstays with an employer verification system. A societal system I know is due to a large segment of our society with selfish inconsiderate economic reasons for their own wealth goals that is unnecessarily hurting others and manipulating the system pointing in media elsewhere than at themselves. Much more.
 
RadishRose said:
To me, "hate" is the strongest word, but unless one loves someone who has hurt them, they cannot hate. They just get angry. Or very angry.

I think love and hate are somehow tied together.

In other words, if one we care for has hurt us, unless we loved them, we don't hate them. We get angry. To be angry is normal and it dissipates after awhile.

And yes, "hate" is a very overused word. Like; I hate liver, or I hate war movies.
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Although i think that hate as in bigotry can grow out of fear, there is a link between love and hate like flip sides of a coin. That is why some 'Exes' will hound a person after a break up, and if they move in same social group will take every opportunity to contradict, be snarky to get a 'rise' out you. For some they figure if you get angry with them about it, it means you must still have some 'good' feelings for them too or it wouldn't bug you. Some are actually unhealthy enough to settle for knowing they can generate some, any emotion in you!
 
RadishRose said:
To me, "hate" is the strongest word, but unless one loves someone who has hurt them, they cannot hate. They just get angry. Or very angry.

I think love and hate are somehow tied together.

In other words, if one we care for has hurt us, unless we loved them, we don't hate them. We get angry. To be angry is normal and it dissipates after awhile.

And yes, "hate" is a very overused word. Like; I hate liver, or I hate war movies.
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Perhaps I am not understanding this but I don't think I agree...People have said..'I will never forgive him/her for...' and there was never love involved. It seems to me someone can hate another without first loving them and they continue hating them
 
chic said:
Absolutely! When we were all groovy and groovin' the entire world was a more peaceful place.

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"All?" Unless you were being ironic/sarcastic, lucky you to have lived in that world.

I remember stepping off a bus in Tampa, FL in summer of 1966 (taking a weekend off from Civil Rights Activism to visit my Dad whom i hadn't spoken to in almost 9 yrs) and being called a 'dirty hippie' by a middle aged man. The only visible things he could have been going on were my long hair (clean) and a button supporting Human Rights on my straw hat.

Coming from a 'working poor' family i didn't feel i had the same options my college attending upper middle class friends had. I worked and saved to take time off and participate in things i felt important.

Need i mention all the assassinations of the 60s, or the many cults that sprang up taking advantage of young people who had ambivalence (with perhaps some guilt) about the white & economically privileged familes they grew up in (Manson, Jim Jones).

The ideals were good but the realities of the era did not come to full fruition. And oh...the backlash.
 
Serenity4321 said:
Perhaps I am not understanding this but I don't think I agree...People have said..'I will never forgive him/her for...' and there was never love involved. It seems to me someone can hate another without first loving them and they continue hating them
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As with love there are different kinds. As i mentioned in in my reply #39, hate can grow out of fear and anger, often of those perceived as 'other' because they belong to a different demographic. But it also can be very strong when it comes to feeling hurt or betrayed by a loved one.

So i get @RadishRose's point. Personally, i don't usually think in terms of 'forgiveness' when it's some stranger who is has 'wronged' me--i have no expectation that a stranger would consider my feelings, needs. So unless their actions do have a huge impact on not just my life but my world and the world my progeny will live in (as people who influence our culture and make our lawmakers do)
i just let their rudeness, ignorance go. I won't let them live rent free in my head.

But one has expectations of respect, concern, empathy from friends and family-- so when they 'wrong' me forgiveness is needed to move on.
 
RadishRose said:
To me, "hate" is the strongest word, but unless one loves someone who has hurt them, they cannot hate. They just get angry. Or very angry.

I think love and hate are somehow tied together.

In other words, if one we care for has hurt us, unless we loved them, we don't hate them. We get angry. To be angry is normal and it dissipates after awhile.

And yes, "hate" is a very overused word. Like; I hate liver, or I hate war movies.
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I beg to differ, Rose. In the case of "liver" I do hate it.😫
 
Sippican said:
Hate is a very subjective word, different meanings for different people.
There are some things/people I hate.
It doesn't impact me physically, mentally, emotionally, etc.
To be submissive to hate promotes more hateful acts.
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I am thinking until stronger feelings are involved the hate may not be harmful. Once one really feels the hate, harm may imo occur...eg...saying I hate liver 😐does not physically harm me...until I say I HATE liver..😖 ...the latter may increase cortisol levels...
 


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