Is it just me? "Miss" prefix before my first name makes me feel old.

[Jules]

I don't understand the correlation between the word "miss" and old age.

When ‘miss’ is used to speak to a senior and it’s not when addressing others, then it becomes patronizing even though the young don’t realize it. It’s especially irritating when there’s a bit of a lilt to the tone. A couple of days ago I got one of those ‘there you go my dear.’ No one else ahead of me was addressed that way.

 

[MarciKS]

But still, people should be able to discuss minor grievances "among friends."

that's just it...it's minor. and it's been going on forever. i don't see the point in 7 pages of discussion over something so silly.

 

[dseag2]

Yesterday, I was called 'sir'! Was masked, wearing an old big jacket of my son's. It was at the bagel store. After my order was completed, the young guy said "Anything else, SIR" and I managed to laugh it off. I have a very bad cold & my voice is in low register.

You made my day. And I do hope you feel better soon!

 

[fuzzybuddy]

Yesterday, I was called 'sir'! Was masked, wearing an old big jacket of my son's. It was at the bagel store. After my order was completed, the young guy said "Anything else, SIR" and I managed to laugh it off. I have a very bad cold & my voice is in low register.

Our language is heavily dependent on knowing the gender of the person you are talking to. I gotta admit, there are some people, who can look like either. You don't want to insult them, but they aren't giving you much of a clue.

 

[Ruthanne]

People called me Miss...when I was in my mid twenties so I find no offense with it. It's a manner of speech some use.

 

[Tom 86]

Most people I don't know will call me Mr. Tom since they can't pronounce my last name here. That's fine with me. As I tell them. "just don't call me late for supper." I've been called a lot of things in my 86 years. Can't put most of them on here.

 

[Chazzmor]

Growing up in New Orleans, as kids we called all people my parents age or older, by Mr. and Miss and then their first name. Some really close friends of my parents were known as Uncle and Aunt. I didn't realize till I was older that they were not a blood relation...LOL. In Hawaii and some Asian countries (like Vietnam). adults are called Auntie and Uncle, as a sign of respect, even if you don't know their first name.

 

[Em in Ohio]

When ‘miss’ is used to speak to a senior and it’s not when addressing others, then it becomes patronizing even though the young don’t realize it. It’s especially irritating when there’s a bit of a lilt to the tone. A couple of days ago I got one of those ‘there you go my dear.’ No one else ahead of me was addressed that way.

Barring a sarcastic "lilt," I would think most young people are trying to be polite and respectful in their own way. I don't take offense at any of it, personally. Of course, if they hand me my package and say, "Here you go, you old hag," that would be another matter entirely! (-:

 

[Jules]

I definitely qualify as old and little and female, so get lots of ’dear, dearie, sweetie, etc’.

Yesterday I got the ‘here you go, sweetie’ in the same tone as spoken to a small child. I wanted to make a suggestion a place where she could go.

would think most young people are trying to be polite and respectful in their own way.

40+ old clerks aren’t trying to be respectful, they’re being ageist, whether they know it or not. This patronizing attitude is contagious. Most of it is in how they say it.

 

[JaniceM]

I definitely qualify as old and little and female, so get lots of ’dear, dearie, sweetie, etc’.

Yesterday I got the ‘here you go, sweetie’ in the same tone as spoken to a small child. I wanted to make a suggestion a place where she could go.


40+ old clerks aren’t trying to be respectful, they’re being ageist, whether they know it or not. This patronizing attitude is contagious. Most of it is in how they say it.

I agree with you!!! although most I hear this from are girls in the 18-25 age range.

 

[JazzySteph]

It makes me cringe when someone calls me Miss Stephanie ughhhh.

 

[gamboolman]

I grew up in small town East Texas.
We were raised to say Sir, Mam, Mr., Mrs. Miss and Ms to show respect and courtesy.
I have had some ladies say that they prefer to not be called Ms. Thats OK - but the use of Ms is not - at least for me is meant to be offensive.

 

[HarryHawk]

I've spent most of my adult life studying Martial Arts. I use the terms Mr./Miss/Sir/Ma'am to show respect to people whom I respect. So do many of my friends and associates. I use these terms to address people both younger and older than myself. I'm not sure I could break this habit even if I wanted to do so.

JUst curious, if folks are addressing someone whose name they don't know, would you prefer to be addressed as "dude", I'm not even sure what the female equivalent is.

 

[Pepper]

I've spent most of my adult life studying Martial Arts. I use the terms Mr./Miss/Sir/Ma'am to show respect to people whom I respect. So do many of my friends and associates. I use these terms to address people both younger and older than myself. I'm not sure I could break this habit even if I wanted to do so.

JUst curious, if folks are addressing someone whose name they don't know, would you prefer to be addressed as "dude", I'm not even sure what the female equivalent is.

Dudette.

 

[JustDave]

Jurassic World was a bit of a disappointment.

I remember reading a review of the one just before the last one. A movie critic, apparently getting tired of the redundant theme said, "Shut the damned park down already!"

 

[JustDave]

JUst curious, if folks are addressing someone whose name they don't know, would you prefer to be addressed as "dude", I'm not even sure what the female equivalent is.

I think "dude" is usually meant to be complimentary, but like AprilSun's aversion to being called, "Miss," "Dude" sounds disrespectful to me. But I can trace that back to a personal experience from when I was 11 years old.

 

[Gary O']

JUst curious, if folks are addressing someone whose name they don't know, would you

I've heard the term 'dude' across the board
For male, female, little kid, pet, other
I don't use the term, not in my wheelhouse, but somehow rather like it
Seems not offensive
almost endearing

prefer to be addressed as "dude", I'm not even sure what the female equivalent is.

Dudette.

Too funny

As far as addressing this geezer, I'm not offended at most inferences toward myself
Use whatever handle seems fitting to you
If it seems belittling or mildly degrading, I tend to ignore the ignorant
Too many other things to get upset about
Like syrup on my pancakes
None of that sugarless slime
Pisses me off
Looks like syrup
Isn't

 

[horseless carriage]

No.. you will never hear a adult man being called Master Joe.. or Master Gus.. Master is the male equivalent of Miss. Do you think using Miss First name for women is a way to diminutize them? It seems to be acceptable to treat women as children or as childlike.. particularly if they are elderly.

Actually, master was commonplace when I was a child. It was the title given to young boys. Master John Smith might carry the same name as his father, but there would be no confusion if using the child's title of master.

Master was used throughout my childhood, it slipped into disuse here in the UK, around the early 1960's. We used to joke at school as to whether a boy name of Bates found the title too uncomfortable.

Use of the term Madam in English speaking countries, always sounds like the proprietress of a brothel. The French soften the sound when they elongate the second letter 'a' making the word sound more like Madarme.

Use of titles seems to be a thing of the past, more's the pity. Two different utility companies wrote to me recently, there was a time when the letter would start: "Dear Mr. Taylor," what I read was, "Hello Robert," that faux friendliness made me so annoyed I felt like changing companies.

 

[gamboolman]

The use of Master and Madam is the norm / common in Equatorial Guinea and Nigeria - at least it was for the 18 we lived and worked in both countries as Married Accompanied Resident Expats.

We retired 1-Feb-21.

But I will admit it was / is unusual for folks in the USA to hear or use these terms nowadays.

I do remember the use of Master for boys was used in the 60's growing up in Texas.

 

[Jace]

No, no, no... like...makes me feel young.

 

[Don't Miss Me]

I agree, being called Miss (first name) is patronizing and verges on ageism. A particular co-worker with whom I'd worked for a decade suddenly started putting "Miss" in front of my first name. It came across as an attempt to distance herself. Which coincided with my refusal to take part in her shunning and gossiping about a new co-worker.

 

[Nathan]

...would you prefer to be addressed as "dude"

No, makes me cringe that the term "dude" is actually still in use. As young So.Calif surfers back in the late 60s we used the word dude a lot, but, that was just because we were usually stoned...

 

[StarSong]

When I was in my early thirties, I met an African American co-worker's son. The woman had been born in the south and her son was about twelve.

I introduced myself using my first name. The young man looked at his mom, who nodded, and he said, "It's nice to meet you Miss StarSong."

I gave his mother a questioning glance. She said, "He has no need to call you by your first name. He isn't your peer." That lesson of using a respectful title for someone older wasn't lost on me and I began to incorporate it into my own interactions with people older than me.

When my kids were in preschool their teachers were called Miss Carol, Miss Nancy, etc. My daughter-in-law teaches preschool and the three year olds call the teachers by their first names. I disagree with stripping out the title. As my long-ago coworker would say, three year olds are not peers with their teachers.

When someone politely calls me miss or ma'am, I don't take offense. I believe they're being polite and deferential.

 

[fuzzybuddy]

What is the appropriate name we guys ae supposed to use?" Maam" I'm told is for old ladies, and now ": miss" is frowne3d upon. That leaves, "Hey, buddie."

 

[Bella]

Here's one for ya. When we were having the kitchen renovated, none of the guys we hired called me by my name. Not ever. Not once. They had no problem calling my husband by his name. I was called, "Hello," "Excuse me," and "Your wife." I was really sick of it, so one morning I walked into the kitchen with a post-it note on my chest with my name boldly printed on it. One of the guys was an older man. In fact, he was the father of the guy we hired. He saw the note and said, "Is that so you don't forget who you are?" I said, "No, I know who I am. It's so you don't forget who I am. If you have any further trouble remembering my name, you'll find it on the checks you've been cashing." Let me tell you, it made no difference. He was a surly old cuss and was amused that he'd gotten under my skin. I had even let that old f*cker smoke his pipe in my house!

After the job was completed, I told the guys that they did a great job and that my only complaint was that they refused to address me by my name. The son not only didn't address me by my name, all along he had trouble making eye contact as well. I said I thought he was a nice guy and I didn't know if it was just me he had a problem addressing or if it was a problem he had with women in general and that he really needed to work on that. People like to be addressed by their names. He looked sheepish and didn't say much, except a lowly mumbled, "Sorry."

I'm not fond of being called "Miss," but it beats being called... nothing.

Bella