I’m probably the minority here but I also view it as a respectful thing. The reason I say that is that the actions of the people using these words including eye focuss and body language are nothing but considerate and respectful.In the places I've lived in the West, It's a derogatory term to call a lady of any age "Ma'am!"
I'm not alone in this. It really makes women irate! However, "Ms." is appropiate and doesn't enrage.
I address others by "Thank you dear." for men or women, hahaha! We have to be SO CAREFUL these days of our words!
I can think of far more derogatory terms for old other than ma’am