Is it just me? "Miss" prefix before my first name makes me feel old.

I hate being called Ms......neither one thing nor the other. I was a married woman with children and I am MRS!
 

I do have to say I don't run into this problem, even on the days when I shave. But calling a woman is a minefield. You're never going to get it right. Does Peggy Sue call herself Peggy Sue, or just Sue, or Peggy Sue Montague Prestman, Mrs Prestman, Mrs. Montague., Miss Montague, Peggy Prestman, Sue Prestman, Mrs. Donald Prestman, Miss Sue Prestman, Miss Peggy, Miss Prestman, Miss Peggy Prestman, Mrs. Peggy Sue Prestman, or do you just call her "Dot".?
 
MarciKS said:
I wonder why this bothers some and not others? It just doesn't bother me. Never has.
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I've said this before and unfortunately must say it again. I Hate It when a woman, especially if she is near my age, calls me MAMA. Hate, hate, hate and sometimes retort "I'm Not your Mama," and I usually get screamed at by the Mama-Caller, but sometimes it's so worth it! 🤣
 
Pepper said:
I've said this before and unfortunately must say it again. I Hate It when a woman, especially if she is near my age, calls me MAMA. Hate, hate, hate and sometimes retort "I'm Not your Mama," and I usually get screamed at by the Mama-Caller, but sometimes it's so worth it! 🤣
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Well that would be different. That's stupid. But to me being called Miss or Ma'am are forms of respect.
 
I call it slave talk or plantation speak. The slaves used to use "Miss" or "Mister" with their first names to speak to or about the slave holders and their family members. It's disgusting that this ignorant, grammatically incorrect manner of addressing people is alive and well in 2020. It makes my blood boil when I am addressed in this manner. I never accept it. I always say that I am not a Miss. Please call me Mrs. or Ms. with my last name.

A lot of people get upset and I explain to them why they should not address people in that manner. Usually it's done to older women and sometimes older men. Also being called dear, deary, sweetie or honey is infuriating. Where I grew up people called each other by their names. I say that people who call you by these types names are bullies. Giving someone a nickname without having any relationship with them are pushy, disrespectful people. So they say that addressing a woman as Miss Mary is showing respect. I say it shows ignorance and complete disrespect.
 
Ms, Mrs, Ma’am, Miss, Madam, I don’t care as long as it’s done with a polite/respectful manner. There are a couple of young women here who call me Miss Firstname & that’s ok too. But let some old turkey call me “young lady”.....then the claws come out.
 
At my age of 67, I prefer others to use my first name BUT I sure do get a mix. From those younger than
myself, I mostly now get 'sweetie' honey, if they do not know me. lol. *I kinda like it and kinda don't.

I don't get Miss or Mrs much.
 
I've lived here all my life so maybe I'm not as touchy about the "slave talk or plantation speak" as others have a right to be.

Actually I taught my kids to be respectful and address really close friends of ours as Aunt Jane and Uncle John , and not so close would have Mrs. Jane and Mr. John.
People they didn't know well were Mr. & Mrs. Doe.

As a very young mother, I remember a babysitter called me Mrs. (blank.) I told her that was my mother-in-law and to call me by my first name. :giggle:
Actually I want to smack someone I don't know if they call me "sweetie" " honey" or anything close to that. I don't remember ever being addressed as "Miss" or "Ma'am"! If I have been, I guess it didn't matter to me.
I also don't like to be told "have a nice day"...I'm always tempted to say "I'll make my own nice day, thank you very much."
Lately, it seems folks are now saying.."Be well and stay safe". I REALLY like that. 😷
 
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EvieB said:
I call it slave talk or plantation speak. The slaves used to use "Miss" or "Mister" with their first names to speak to or about the slave holders and their family members. It's disgusting that this ignorant, grammatically incorrect manner of addressing people is alive and well in 2020.
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Contemporarily, it's used by most native Southerners regardless of age or race depending on circumstance. Miss, Mister, Ma'am, Sir are common and well brought up children are taught to use the titles for adults along with please, thank you etc. Healthcare workers address patients by Miss or Mister when first meeting them. It's also common when addressing customers or a new employee etc.

One of the take-aways I got from I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings is that in the Jim Crow era, whites did not use terms of respect for older black adults. They do now. Some things evolve for the better. Since I learned that, it's music to my ears to hear whites use the honorifics when addressing blacks.

But the important thing is calling someone by how they wish to be addressed. After the initial meeting, most people here tell you if they want to use their first name. If they don't, you continue with Miss or Mister.
 
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AnnieA said:
Contemporarily, it's used by most native Southerners regardless of age or race depending on circumstance. Miss, Mister, Ma'am, Sir are common and well brought up children are taught to use the titles for adults along with please, thank you etc. Healthcare workers address patients by Miss or Mister when first meeting them.

One of the take-aways I got from I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings is that in the Jim Crow era, white children did not use terms of respect for older black adults. They do now. Some things evolve for the better. Since I learned that, it's always music to my ears to hear whites use the honorifics when addressing blacks.
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Very good post Annie.
Yes, down here 'Miss' is said so often to every woman, black or white, young or old, I don't even notice when it is mentioned.
It just comes out of your mouth like yes or thank you.
 
At work, I am referred to as Miss Tammy. At first I would joke around and say, "I'm not that old! ", but more and more of my coworkers started addressing me like that. It is out of respect that they are addressing me as such. Also, it is a "Southern thing". Having grown up in both the North and the South, I can attest to the fact that up North you address your elders by "Mr./Mrs. last name" and in the South it's "Mr./Miss first name". Using Sir/Ma'am is a universal sign of respect, no matter the age of the person being addressed.
 
I personally am "old school". I address others by "Mr./Miss first name", reply using "yes/no Sir/Ma'am", and I call EVERYONE, "Sweetie or honey". I have yet to come across anyone that objects to it, but then again I live in TN. I do realize those that reside in larger metropolitan or more populated areas are more inclined to NOT address strangers with such a familiar greeting, but it is a Southern thing that is done automatically. No harm intended.
 
In the places I've lived in the West, It's a derogatory term to call a lady of any age "Ma'am!"
I'm not alone in this. It really makes women irate! However, "Ms." is appropiate and doesn't enrage.
I address others by "Thank you dear." for men or women, hahaha! We have to be SO CAREFUL these days of our words!
 
I ignore it mostly. But when someone calls me Mrs., to me it means I'm a man's appendage. There is no equivalent term for a man. It used to be that a woman was nothing unless she was married. I've been married three times. That doesn't mean I was "owned" by any of them. It used to irritate me a lot. Now I try not to let anyone annoy me about anything. It's a waste of energy, and at this age energy is gold.
 


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