Alligatorob
SF VIP
Doesn't seem like the kind of thing that would require an apology 50 years later. Not good behavior, but he was young and stupid, as many of us were.
Probably more to the story...
Is This Insane? (Send an apology letter to HS girlfriend)
- Thread starter oldman
- Start date
Probably more to the story...
fuzzybuddy
SF VIP
- Location
- The Sticks, Northeast PA.
I just had a call with a US Navy buddy, whom I met in the late 1960s. To be honest, if I met him on the street, I would never have recognized him as my good pal. We did talk about other buddies, but after 50+ years, his recollections weren't like mine. And his memories revolved around him, while mine, of course, revolved around me. To respond to this thread, I doubt if a spurned lover from 50 years ago will have the same memory as the letter writer. Her memories will be quite different from his. And if she did recall the writer, she's aware he was a jerk.
Update: Yesterday morning I was just going out the door when the phone rang. Normally, when this happens I ignore the phone and let the voice mail pick up the call and the person on the other end can leave a message. This time I decided to answer the phone and it was my old friend that wanted to tell me his news.
He said he wrote and sent the letter he was debating on mailing. An almost month had past when he received a letter back from her thanking him for sending his letter and apologizing for his behavior during their high school days. It was then that he said they decided to meet at a restaurant and catch up on life since those days. At the end of that get-together, they decided to meet once a month just to talk.
He reminded me that I was wrong and that nothing went wrong and it was great getting together and now that they are seeing one another once a month, it turned out even better than he thought it would. I told him that so far he has been lucky, but if he keeps going down this road, it’s only a matter of time that her husband is going to become suspicious and maybe even decide to follow her and then all hell is going to break loose. My advice to him was quit while he’s ahead. He says I’m being paranoid.
Some people just don’t think straight. Truthfully, I think he still has feelings for her and she may also have feelings for him. I can see a storm coming.
He said he wrote and sent the letter he was debating on mailing. An almost month had past when he received a letter back from her thanking him for sending his letter and apologizing for his behavior during their high school days. It was then that he said they decided to meet at a restaurant and catch up on life since those days. At the end of that get-together, they decided to meet once a month just to talk.
He reminded me that I was wrong and that nothing went wrong and it was great getting together and now that they are seeing one another once a month, it turned out even better than he thought it would. I told him that so far he has been lucky, but if he keeps going down this road, it’s only a matter of time that her husband is going to become suspicious and maybe even decide to follow her and then all hell is going to break loose. My advice to him was quit while he’s ahead. He says I’m being paranoid.
Some people just don’t think straight. Truthfully, I think he still has feelings for her and she may also have feelings for him. I can see a storm coming.
StarSong
Awkward is my Superpower
- Location
- Los Angeles Suburbs
hollydolly
SF VIP
- Location
- London England
I agree. if there was nothing more to it, she'd have invited her husband along...
Murrmurr
SF VIP
- Location
- Sacramento, California
Or told him. Maybe she told him. That would be good.
But if she did, I bet he'd have wanted to come along.
@oldman - my advice to your friend is to tell his lady friend to tell her husband about the monthly visits. If she says no, then I suspect this is leading to an affair. I bet he doesn't even know about the letter.
Been There
Well-known Member
- Location
- Florida
If this man is a good friend, I would tell him to back off. Getting shot is no fun, even if you survive.
Some men are very territorial and that includes counting their wife as a part of their territory, so he should be pleasant to her and walk away while he still can.
Some men are very territorial and that includes counting their wife as a part of their territory, so he should be pleasant to her and walk away while he still can.
Warrigal
SF VIP
- Location
- Sydney, Australia
That was my first thought too.
Been There
Well-known Member
- Location
- Florida
Some of you may remember seeing this story on one of those evening true crime shows. While I was in the Marines, my weapons officer and I became pretty good friends. We were in Pensacola, Florida at the time. My weapons officer lived in a condo just off the beach and had another Marine has a boarder. There was a family that lived right next to him and the husband was also an aviator in the Marines. My friend's boarder was a really nice younger man that was kind of shy and a bit lonely as I remember it. As time went by, the boarder became really good friends with the family next door. So much so that he would even watch their young child, which was 2 or 3 years old if the lady wanted to run some errands.
One day the husband came home and no one else was home. Cell phones were just becoming popular back then (2000) so he called his wife on the phone and no answer. He kept trying until something like 8 at night. He really became worried and called the police. Right after he contacted the police there was a knock on the door. When he answered the door, it was another neighbor holding the baby and she told him that she couldn't keep the baby any longer because she had to go to work at the local jail where she was a corrections officer. The husband now became very concerned. He had his baby, but no wife.
As it ended up, the boarder became infatuated with the guy's wife and kidnapped her. His plan was to take her to a mountain retreat his family owned in Utah and stay there with her. It took the FBI only about 3 or 4 days to track them down and recover the lady and arrest the boarder. There was a lot more to it, but I didn't want to go into all of the details. The wife was not interested in the boarder, which at first, the FBI thought she may have just ran away with him. This is how things can go wrong when you think a relationship is only friendly.
One day the husband came home and no one else was home. Cell phones were just becoming popular back then (2000) so he called his wife on the phone and no answer. He kept trying until something like 8 at night. He really became worried and called the police. Right after he contacted the police there was a knock on the door. When he answered the door, it was another neighbor holding the baby and she told him that she couldn't keep the baby any longer because she had to go to work at the local jail where she was a corrections officer. The husband now became very concerned. He had his baby, but no wife.
As it ended up, the boarder became infatuated with the guy's wife and kidnapped her. His plan was to take her to a mountain retreat his family owned in Utah and stay there with her. It took the FBI only about 3 or 4 days to track them down and recover the lady and arrest the boarder. There was a lot more to it, but I didn't want to go into all of the details. The wife was not interested in the boarder, which at first, the FBI thought she may have just ran away with him. This is how things can go wrong when you think a relationship is only friendly.
Judycat
Well-known Member
- Location
- Pennsylvania
Blah it's their problem, not yours. Next time, don't answer the phone.
I had to stop and think about how it would make me feel if I got such a letter from the guy that made me miserable in high school. I still remember his name and what he did like it was yesterday. All I picture myself doing is tearing the letter up into teeny tiny pieces, going out to the yard and setting it on fire. I've carried a grudge against this guy for over 50 years and no cutesy letter is going to make it right.
Sad that I've carried this with me all these years, but he ruined four years of my life which shaped a lot of my future.
NO, I would NOT want to hear from him...EVER!
Sad that I've carried this with me all these years, but he ruined four years of my life which shaped a lot of my future.
NO, I would NOT want to hear from him...EVER!
I was asked that in an earlier post and even though I was sure that he didn’t do drugs, I didn’t know if he was an alcoholic. Kiddingly, I asked him if he was doing this as one of his 12 steps and he laughed and said no.
I decided not to contact him anymore and wait for him to contact me, if he does. He knows that I don’t approve of his handling of this situation, so I will wait and see if he gets back to me.
During our high school years, we have tender emotions that leave a lasting impression in our adult years. I think each of us has experienced fluttering love, heartbreak, sadness, melancholy, but each time it was a passionate feeling for good or bad. It's part of growing up.
I have shared some of these times, events, seemed immediate at the time, but just a blip after marriage, divorce, careers. It's all life's lessons learned, showing us how to make better choices.
I have looked back and laughed at how devastated I was at the time. These guys had a lot to learn, too. It's just a part of life.
Having said this, I'm glad to have had these missteps, otherwise my younger years would have been very dull indeed. Some of my older adult years, too, come to that.
I have shared some of these times, events, seemed immediate at the time, but just a blip after marriage, divorce, careers. It's all life's lessons learned, showing us how to make better choices.
I have looked back and laughed at how devastated I was at the time. These guys had a lot to learn, too. It's just a part of life.
Having said this, I'm glad to have had these missteps, otherwise my younger years would have been very dull indeed. Some of my older adult years, too, come to that.