Aphorism is a statement of truth or opinion expressed in a concise and witty manner
I read that 4,153,237 people were married last year. Not to cause any trouble, but shouldn’t that be an even number?
♦ I find it ironic that the colours red, white and blue stand for freedom until they are flashing behind you.
♦ When wearing a bikini, women reveal 90% of their bodies. Men are so polite they only look at the covered parts.
♦ Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?
♦ You know that tingly little feeling you get when you love someone? That's common sense leaving your body.
♦ My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll see about that.
♦ I think my neighbour is stalking me as she's been Googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.
♦ Money talks but all mine ever says is good-bye.
♦ You're not fat, you're just easier to see.
♦ If you think nobody cares whether you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.
♦ I always wondered what the job application is like at Hooters. Do they just give you a bra and say, "Here, fill this out?"
♦ The location of your mailbox shows you how far away from your house you can go in a robe before you start looking like a mental patient.