Keeping yourself to yourself

Jeni said:
I no longer chose to talk deeply keep everything just an outline no real details. I once had people twist words and add BS to make me look bad backfired as they guess wrong details and the lie could not stand up....... but i saw even friends could do something like that.

With many people now ..... i noticed people near me are so wrapped up in themselves ..............they do not remember what anyone had told them... lol
Just yesterday the neighbor told me something thinking i might be interested........... but it was an item i told him long time ago ... not sure if someone else mentioned it and he just thought he would share with me.

I find it easier to chat online as @hollydolly referred to no one knows details or such about me.
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I have experienced a lot of what you've written too Jeni.... especially the twisting of words & the added BS to make me look bad... and you're right people are so wrapped up in themselves they're not listening when you're talking. I've experienced this many times in recent years... Take for example the Hairdresser..I know she talks to Dozens of people a day..but, she's working on MY hair, she asks me a question..I answer her.. she's not listening obviously because 5 minutes later she asks me the same question.. and I give the same answer... god help me, she asks a 3rd time..about 10 minutes later.. so I give a completely different answer. opposite to what I said before.. and she said.. ''oh yes you said before''... true story.... :rolleyes: , and that seems to be typical of so many people..if they're not listening properly.. or they're willing to make their own BS to fit the narrative.. that's how it seems to be now..

That said I've had people do it here on this forum and others..jump in to attack when they're read a post of mine.. not read it properly.. twisted what I said , to try and make an attack on me.. despite the fact that Dozens, nay possibly hundreds of people have seen exactly what I wrote in the first place.. ...and can see these people have egg on their face,..it doesn't stop them
 

Rose65 said:
Do you join in your community and chat openly about your life? It is healthy and good within reason. I used to be like that, always socialising, yes I knew everything that was going on. That's the thing though, people do love gossip. Once they know someone's business they all have opinions.
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"Once they know someone's business they all have opinions." Rose makes a good point, my wife and I do have quite a group of friends, it comes from our love of dance and socialising. But taking Rose's point, rarely would we tell anyone about something personal. My wife kept the death of her sister to herself. It was only when one of the ladies had commented how depressed my wife seemed that I let the bereavement be known. That resulted in sympathetic text messages and condolence cards. The reaction was the sort of therapeutic lift she needed, so there can be benefits.
 
I've always been cautious about what I tell people about myself, even online. As time goes on, I've found it's in my best interest to reveal less. I don't respond to certain threads because it's best to keep my beliefs and opinions to myself. Telling too much just invites intrusive questions or criticism, and there are those who will use anything they know about you against you. Sometimes, IRL, when people ask nosy questions, I'm vague or just say, "That's none of your beeswax." There are only a few people I truly trust enough to take into my confidence.
 

Ok, ok, you’ve got me… I tell a lie. My real name
is not Jamala.
Jamala is the name of an elephant I met and
fell in love with while on safari in South Africa.
Thankfully, although I love Jamala, I do not look
anything like her. I am a small build,
honey blonde with blue-green eyes.
To my family and close friends
I answer to my nickname “Butterfly.”
 
I only share details that no one else would know with close friends I really trust and who are also willing to share with me.

I worked really closely with a woman for 9 years and we became good friends. I told her about a few past relationships, including an abusive one, and she actually confided to me that one of her sons wasn't her husband's and he didn't know. I've never shared this with another soul.

Very few of my close friends and family members know many of my life stories, but then they haven't asked an probably wouldn't care. I would prefer to listen to them. There is a saying, "the most interesting people are those who are interested in others".

And like others in this forum, I've shared more details here than I have in real life.
 

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