Letters Sent to Landlords

[SeaBreeze]

This is a collection of quotes from letters sent to a landlord from his tenants.


◦ "I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is running away from the wall."

◦ "In accordance with your instructions, I have given birth to twins in the enclosed envelope."

◦ "This is to let you know that there is a smell coming from the man next door."

◦ "The toilet seat is cracked. Where do I stand?"

◦ "I request your permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen."

◦ "Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces."

◦ "Can you please tell me when our repairs are going to be done as my wife is about to become an expectant mother."

◦ "The toilet is blocked, and we cannot bathe the children until it is cleared."

◦ "Will you please send someone to mend our broken path. Yesterday my wife tripped on it and is now pregnant."

 

[Ina]

Sea, And I thought I had trouble expressing myself. :lofl:

 

[Michael.]

.

I have added a few more to your list...


"I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is running away from the wall."


"In accordance with your instructions, I have given birth to twins in the enclosed envelope."


"This is to let you know that there is a smell coming from the man next door."


"The toilet seat is cracked. Where do I stand?"


"I request your permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen."


"Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces."


"Can you please tell me when our repairs are going to be done as my wife is about to become an expectant mother."


"The toilet is blocked, and we cannot bathe the children until it is cleared."


"Will you please send someone to mend our broken path. Yesterday my wife tripped on it and is now pregnant."


"I am still having trouble with smoke in my built in drawers."


"Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a funny colour and not fit to drink."


"Would you please send a man to repair my sprout. I am an old age pensioner and need it straight away."


"I want to complain about the farmer across the road; every morning at 6am his cock wakes me up and it's getting too much."


"The man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which is unsightly and dangerous."


"Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two children and would like a third so will you please send someone around to do something about it."


"I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would be pleased if you could do something about the noise made by the man I have on top of me every night."


"Please send a man with clean tools to finish the job and satisfy the wife."


"I have had the Clerk of the Works down on the floor six times, but still have no satisfaction."


"We are getting married in September and would like it in the garden before we move into the house."


"This is to let you know that our lavatory seat is broken and we can't get BBC2."




.

 

[SifuPhil]

I suppose even landlords are entitled to a laugh now and again ...

 

[Falcon]

Advice: Pleese read before sending.

 

[That Guy]

Think I might have to use some of these from time to time just to mess with the great people who own this wonderful little house.