A hillbilly mountaineer sends his son to college. The boy comes home after graduation and is asked by his father, "Waal, boy, what is it you been learnin' at that flatland collige?"
"Mathemetics, Father," replies the young man.
"Matheematics? Woo-eee, that sounds fancy! Speak me some of them mathematics."
"You don't "speak" mathematics, Father", the youth replied condescendingly. "Mathematics is an applied science, not a language."
"If Ah say speak me some of them there matheematics, boy, Ah MEAN for you to do it! You do it now."
"Very well. Pi r squared. There, I've "spoken" you some mathematics."
"Tarnation! Ah knowed Ah shudn't have wasted mah money sending you off to collige. You ain't larned nothing! Four years down in that flatland collige and you come home and try to tell me pie are squared. Everybody knows pie aren't square! Pie are ROUND. CORNBREAD are square! Damn fool!"