Bretrick
Well-known Member
- Location
- Perth Western Australia
I grew up in a household without love.
My Father was drunk every day I knew him bar a couple of years towards the end when he attempted to stop drinking.
Because of his alcoholism, my Mother was extremely sad and frustrated.
Her outlet was to beat up on her five children. Her method of punishment was with a solid wooden broom handle cut down to three feet with which she would use on us regularly.
With a husband who came home drunk every night, after 11 pm or midnight, Mum looked for love elsewhere and found it with one man.
When dad found out about it, he threw mum out,(1969).
Mum and her new friend moved to the capital city and after twelve months a decree nisi was granted allowing her to remarry.
My father worked full time so needed someone to look after us children so he asked mum's mother to come over from Melbourne to raise us children.
My Grandmother was very old school and religious so had some very strict ideas about children,
"They should be seen and not heard"
So even though life up to then was quite miserable, it became more so under Nan's regime.
Growing up in such an environment left me floundering. No one gave me advice, no one taught me life lessons so my childhood was full of mistakes and wrong doing.
Several court appearances for petty theft, drinking and smoking at a very early age saw me spiral downwards for many years.
Being diagnosed with Cirrhosis at age 30.
When my Nan died, I bought my own home and left dad all alone.
The other four children had fled the home previously. I stayed to look after Nan who had started to deteriorate.
I never had a conversation with my father until I was 22/23? Even that only came about because I met him in the pub and we sort of became "drinking buddies" getting pissed together.
Finally Dad died of Cirrhosis aged 67 and I was able to leave my home town with nothing to hold me there.
I moved 4000 km's away to Perth because I wanted to be as far away from my home town as possible, leaving all those bad memories behind.
After 31 years I have never been back and I have no idea where any of my siblings are and do not need to know.
So, what have I learnt from such an upbringing?
What is important in life?
Most important thing is to be a good friend to those who have gravitated towards you.
Do all you can to make them feel valued and wanted, but without allowing yourself to be used.
I admit that I am far from perfect and as such continue to make mistakes. The difference now is I can accept that and admit those mistakes instead of denying any wrong doing which was my want in my youth.
I help those that need help if I am able to.
One of the most sorrowful feelings a person can have is to feel/be all alone. When a person feels they are unwanted by society then misery is their constant companion and life becomes unbearable.
This is one of the reasons suicide is on the increase. Hopelessness takes over so to go to sleep permanently removes that pain.
I personally am not in that situation so no alerts please.
Allow yourself to be happy and learn to laugh.
Life can be too serious, especially if we have come from an unhappy background.
For years I was miserable with the "Woe is me" mentality until one day I was sick of being miserable and sought out those things that brought me pleasure and some semblance of normality.
It was a struggle but eventually I allowed myself to be happy and laugh at frivolous things.
I suppose one of the most valuable lessons I have learnt is being honest.
With myself, with others. Denying honesty leads to heartache and eventually misery as those around you remove you from their lives. No one can abide dishonest people.
Okay, you may be able to fool others but you can not fool yourself.
How will you really feel, laying in bed at night, thinking back on your deception?
A few musings from Bretrick
My Father was drunk every day I knew him bar a couple of years towards the end when he attempted to stop drinking.
Because of his alcoholism, my Mother was extremely sad and frustrated.
Her outlet was to beat up on her five children. Her method of punishment was with a solid wooden broom handle cut down to three feet with which she would use on us regularly.
With a husband who came home drunk every night, after 11 pm or midnight, Mum looked for love elsewhere and found it with one man.
When dad found out about it, he threw mum out,(1969).
Mum and her new friend moved to the capital city and after twelve months a decree nisi was granted allowing her to remarry.
My father worked full time so needed someone to look after us children so he asked mum's mother to come over from Melbourne to raise us children.
My Grandmother was very old school and religious so had some very strict ideas about children,
"They should be seen and not heard"
So even though life up to then was quite miserable, it became more so under Nan's regime.
Growing up in such an environment left me floundering. No one gave me advice, no one taught me life lessons so my childhood was full of mistakes and wrong doing.
Several court appearances for petty theft, drinking and smoking at a very early age saw me spiral downwards for many years.
Being diagnosed with Cirrhosis at age 30.
When my Nan died, I bought my own home and left dad all alone.
The other four children had fled the home previously. I stayed to look after Nan who had started to deteriorate.
I never had a conversation with my father until I was 22/23? Even that only came about because I met him in the pub and we sort of became "drinking buddies" getting pissed together.
Finally Dad died of Cirrhosis aged 67 and I was able to leave my home town with nothing to hold me there.
I moved 4000 km's away to Perth because I wanted to be as far away from my home town as possible, leaving all those bad memories behind.
After 31 years I have never been back and I have no idea where any of my siblings are and do not need to know.
So, what have I learnt from such an upbringing?
What is important in life?
Most important thing is to be a good friend to those who have gravitated towards you.
Do all you can to make them feel valued and wanted, but without allowing yourself to be used.
I admit that I am far from perfect and as such continue to make mistakes. The difference now is I can accept that and admit those mistakes instead of denying any wrong doing which was my want in my youth.
I help those that need help if I am able to.
One of the most sorrowful feelings a person can have is to feel/be all alone. When a person feels they are unwanted by society then misery is their constant companion and life becomes unbearable.
This is one of the reasons suicide is on the increase. Hopelessness takes over so to go to sleep permanently removes that pain.
I personally am not in that situation so no alerts please.
Allow yourself to be happy and learn to laugh.
Life can be too serious, especially if we have come from an unhappy background.
For years I was miserable with the "Woe is me" mentality until one day I was sick of being miserable and sought out those things that brought me pleasure and some semblance of normality.
It was a struggle but eventually I allowed myself to be happy and laugh at frivolous things.
I suppose one of the most valuable lessons I have learnt is being honest.
With myself, with others. Denying honesty leads to heartache and eventually misery as those around you remove you from their lives. No one can abide dishonest people.
Okay, you may be able to fool others but you can not fool yourself.
How will you really feel, laying in bed at night, thinking back on your deception?
A few musings from Bretrick
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