"Life's been good so far"?

Mr. Ed

Mr. Ed

Be what you is not what you what you ain’t
Location
Central NY
Life's been good to me so far or is it an illusion? In many respects life has been good so far. In reality life is unrelenting pain and disappointment. I just assume life is good because I've survived it thus far and that I am able to voice my discontentment of in a public forum as this.

I've never looked at people in envy, wishing I could have the life they have. Until now, I was satisfied with the lot I drew, but enough is enough I am tired of working so hard to get someplace only to be injured along the way. I can't find a job and injury has delayed scuba certification. I hurt my back exercising last Monday and my belly is abnormally large, don't think it is fat, caused by something else.

With ongoing back pain aggravated by protruding belly, I cannot carry a steel cylinder filled with air without being in the water. Eventually I must exit the water by ladder carrying an additional 25+ lbs of weight that is needed for me to stay underwater wearing a drysuit.

The heat is a factor of my discontentment, along with a future of uncertain outcomes. I am pressured by time to complete certification this year before the water gets too cold to dive. If I don't get certified this year I will not pursue additional training or diver certification.

Life has been good to me so far, no, life has not been good.
 

Well this is the place to rant if you need one, that's for sure... but you know regarding your swollen stomach, if you don't think it's food or alcohol related you need to go and get checked out by the doctor.. and see if you're suffering from a Fatty liver...sometimes a diseased liver can make you look like your pregnant..and if left and not treated can be fatal...
 
I feel for you; I have a permanent back injury from a work accident 4 years ago and my wife has a life long psychiatric mood disorder.
I would say that life hasn't been that bad for you so far.
 

Yes life was good for us , when we both met each other after turbulence 1st marriages..then.aged 31 and 43 we found each other.....
We had 23yrs good years up until 2012 when hubby had his stroke ....I was 57 he was 69
Thankgod he retired aged 50.........
But he both have to cope everyday now....as there is no end to our tunnel, and we both know that.....
But we are soul mates.... And we are strong ....and we will get through the tears everyday...
it’s not fair we say......but there are others , worse off then us.....
 
Age does bring it's challenges, and makes a person "modify" their routines, but if one can "adapt", and take the necessary steps to try to remain healthy, growing older isn't all that bad. Staying active, avoiding becoming overweight, finding hobbies or chores to occupy the days, etc., goes a long way towards making the senior years enjoyable. Personally, I like the "freedom" that retirement has given me.
 
Pepper said:
By being born in the USA (or other Western democracies) we start our lives way ahead of everyone else. So, Life is as good as it gets. Imagine no home, scarce food, etc. and all the bounty we exist in.
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Imagine no TP. I mean born in the wilds of Africa or the Amazon or some other remote place where you use leaves instead of TP. Imagine you accidentally grab poison oak. OMGOSH, life, at that point, would be bad, very bad.

Yes, folks, severely emotionally scarred by my lack of TP due to Covid-19, which was not a side effect of the vaccine 😂

All kidding aside as difficult as my life is with my husband, and as stuck as I am in the situation, it still beats life in an African bush community in a hut with a dirt floor and with nothing but bushes with stickers between me and the lions.

And, of course, no two ply soft TP for my sensitive parts.
 
Some stray thoughts on this topic:

Some things come into our lives as a result of our priorities, actions and choices, some by pure chance because we live in an overpopulated interactive world, and sometimes cross paths with someone who's bad choices (drunk drivers for example) or good choices (like being responsible drivers) can impact our lives.

We can't control everything that happens to us, but we have a good deal of control over how react/respond--over the story we tell ourselves and others about our lives. BTW those stories change for most of us over time, often at the various developmental stages kick in and we either learn more about what shaped our early experiences or we simply come to view those experiences from different perspectives and understandings that come with age.

Money can't buy happiness, but it can sure relieve some of the stresses of life.

We each get to decide about our own lives, but not the lives of others. There's always a lot we do NOT know about the quality of others' lives. We tend to judge the quality of life by very subjective and highly individual standards. It also relieves stress to remember we can only really apply our standards to ourselves, but that includes having standards about who we give power to effect our emotional states, about how much weight we give anyone else's opinion on our LIFE. Keep in mind even siblings can tell themselves highly individual stories about the shared conditions and events of their childhoods.

Being courteous/helpful/kind cost only small amounts of time and energy, but they can not only brighten the day of those on receiving end but of the person displaying--fMRI studies have shown that just remembering or thinking about little acts of 'doing good' releases feel-good chems in our brains. My personal experiences with doing 'random acts of kindness' lends credence to that in my mind.
 
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Mr. Ed said:
Life's been good to me so far or is it an illusion? In many respects life has been good so far. In reality life is unrelenting pain and disappointment. I just assume life is good because I've survived it thus far and that I am able to voice my discontentment of in a public forum as this.

I've never looked at people in envy, wishing I could have the life they have. Until now, I was satisfied with the lot I drew, but enough is enough I am tired of working so hard to get someplace only to be injured along the way. I can't find a job and injury has delayed scuba certification. I hurt my back exercising last Monday and my belly is abnormally large, don't think it is fat, caused by something else.

With ongoing back pain aggravated by protruding belly, I cannot carry a steel cylinder filled with air without being in the water. Eventually I must exit the water by ladder carrying an additional 25+ lbs of weight that is needed for me to stay underwater wearing a drysuit.

The heat is a factor of my discontentment, along with a future of uncertain outcomes. I am pressured by time to complete certification this year before the water gets too cold to dive. If I don't get certified this year I will not pursue additional training or diver certification.

Life has been good to me so far, no, life has not been good.
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Did you ever know of Arthur Schopenhauer? He had thoughts similar to yours. He was a famous philosopher. I hope you'll feel better and soon. Has anything good at all ever happened for you? If not, maybe your 🌈 is just a bit overdue! 🤞
 
Thank you, thought I would share Arthur Schopenhauer for discussion

Living life in each moment is the only opportunity given for change. Not long ago, I considered life to be as I saw it, nowadays years later life remains as I see it to be. However, life continues to be as it is, with or without me.
 
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I used to wonder when I was younger why it seemed that all of my mostly older female relatives (mother, a couple of my stepmothers, 1 grandmother), my mother-in-law, both sisters-in-law had seemed to have given up. Now that I'm old enough that I'm not having, nor will I ever have, the retirement or old age I'd hoped for, I now understand: if there's an alpha male in your life, you're gonna be doing only what he wants. The one grandmother who mostly got to do things her way got divorced when my dad was still a teenager.

So the advice about living in only the present moment is a good one if you know things aren't going to get better, that you'll be lucky if they don't get worse. But it's hard to do: I just don't understand how people can say, "Oh, I never worry about tomorrow!" To me, tomorrow is the 500 lb. gorilla right outside the door.
 
Tomorrow I’ll drive to the scuba store to pick up my BCD 10:30 and at 1:00 I’ll stop by the library to ask if I can volunteer. 3:00 is abdominal CT scan to learn if there something going on with the size of my belly.
 
Mr. Ed said:
Tomorrow I’ll drive to the scuba store to pick up my BCD
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Good for you! It is always good to have a goal!

I did my scuba diving on the other end of life, when I was a kid. No lessons, no certifications, no BCDs back then. My father made our first stuff; regulators from Air Force surplus high altitude pilot stuff and used fire extinguishers as tanks. Then we the first equipment became available he bought "Mike Nelson" style stuff, safer than homemade. I did a lot of diving up to the age of about 14, very little since. Never did get any lessons or certifications. Hope it works out for you!
 
Well, I never did any scuba diving but I did learn to swim under water cause every time I got in a pool I sunk like a stone, a very large heavy stone. 😂😂. I finally learned to float which ensured my survival in a water situation, but never could swim-not enough coordination or stamina.
 
officerripley said:
I used to wonder when I was younger why it seemed that all of my mostly older female relatives (mother, a couple of my stepmothers, 1 grandmother), my mother-in-law, both sisters-in-law had seemed to have given up. Now that I'm old enough that I'm not having, nor will I ever have, the retirement or old age I'd hoped for, I now understand: if there's an alpha male in your life, you're gonna be doing only what he wants. The one grandmother who mostly got to do things her way got divorced when my dad was still a teenager.

So the advice about living in only the present moment is a good one if you know things aren't going to get better, that you'll be lucky if they don't get worse. But it's hard to do: I just don't understand how people can say, "Oh, I never worry about tomorrow!" To me, tomorrow is the 500 lb. gorilla right outside the door.
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Have to admit there's something to this. i have no doubt my life would not be as generally pleasant as it is with a live-in male partner. It's not just 'Alpha' males that are problematic tho. There's such a thing as 'tyranny of the weaker'. Most often women do that in 'traditional' marriages--to everyone outside HE looks like boss, but she controls with moods, outbursts, tears, silence AND flattery--you're so much better at doing, deciding, whatever than i am. My last husband was like that, to any outsider it would look like 'lucky woman, she has final say about joint decisions'. What people forget is that when you have final say, mistakes--things that go awry--are all on you, you bear the responsibility. But you don't get all the credit because most folks recognize that few things happen in a vacuum. That the truly intelligent person tries to get input from their partner. (It was like pulling teeth with tweezers in hubby #3's case.) And even if the partner isn't knowledgeable---they think at least the decider has the emotional support of the partner.

i've been happily single officially since December of 1999, because i figure if i can't have a full partner--willing to shoulder some of the responsibilities besides just contributing $$, without my having to plead or nag (both abhorrent to me) i might as well be on my own.
 
"Life has been good". Concerning the alternative, there isn't much of a choice. You do whatever you have to do to provide for the moment, and plan for an easier tomorrow. Most of us lead well regulated, plentiful lives, sheltered from harm by our peers. Life's emotional events are tempered by that security, so we can say, "life is good".
 

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