Living your dream..!

Many people drift through life without a plan. For some, things work out fine. For most, they end up far from their intended destination.
Others, end up living someone else’s dream, the victim of another agenda. This almost happened to a Mexican fisherman in a story told by Tim Ferriss..
An American businessman took a vacation to a small coastal Mexican village on doctor’s orders. Unable to sleep after an urgent phone call from the office the first morning, he walked out to the pier to clear his head. A small boat with just one fisherman had docked, and inside the boat were several large yellowfin tuna. The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish.


“How long did it take you to catch them?” the American asked.


“Only a little while,” the Mexican replied in surprisingly good English.


“Why don’t you stay out longer and catch more fish?” the American then asked.


“I have enough to support my family and give a few to friends,” the Mexican said as he unloaded them into a basket.


“But … What do you do with the rest of your time?”


The Mexican looked up and smiled. “I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take a siesta with my wife, Julia, and stroll into the village each evening, where I sip wine and play guitar with my amigos. I have a full and busy life, señor.”


The American laughed and stood tall. “Sir, I’m a Harvard M.B.A. and can help you. You should spend more time fishing, and with the proceeds, buy a bigger boat. In no time, you could buy several boats with the increased haul. Eventually, you would have a fleet of fishing boats.”


He continued, “Instead of selling your catch to a middleman, you would sell directly to the consumers, eventually opening your own cannery. You would control the product, processing, and distribution. You would need to leave this small coastal fishing village, of course, and move to Mexico City, then to Los Angeles, and eventually New York City, where you could run your expanding enterprise with proper management.”


The Mexican fisherman asked, “But, señor, how long will all this take?”


To which the American replied, “15–20 years. 25 tops.”


“But what then, señor?”


The American laughed and said, “That’s the best part. When the time is right, you would announce an IPO and sell your company stock to the public and become very rich. You would make millions.”


“Millions, señor? Then what?”


“Then you would retire and move to a small coastal fishing village, where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take a siesta with your wife, and stroll to the village in the evenings where you could sip wine and play your guitar with your amigos …”

Think its a good plan.. if it worked like that ?
 

When my husband and I were planning our marriage when we were kids we had a game plan. We decided on having three kids of our own plus adopting a child with special needs. I was to stay at home to raise the family and he would be the bread winner. He also wanted to continue with his academic studies after we married. We managed to achieve those goals. We have three birth daughters, two adopted sons with special needs. My husband did well in his career and achieved the targets he set for himself. He also managed to gain three more degrees after we married. I raised the kids and have never had to work outside the home since our marriage nearly 45 years ago. Obviously things happened that we didn't plan like my husband's brain haemorrhage which trashed all the left side of his brain when he was 59. He had already retired by then and was devoting himself to his greatest love academia. The fact that he is now unable to do anything of an academic nature is most unfortunate and it frustrates him terribly. I know he wishes he had died, but he didn't so we have to make the best of it.
 
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Thinking about this, it has occurred to me that as each dream was achieved, it was replaced by a new dream!

From 1989 until 2009, I lived my dream every day with the world's best DH. After he died, there was no dream at first, just getting through from one day's end until the next.

Then my dream was to help DS get back here again so he could live the rest of his life feeling productive and content. He's back as of last weekend. He's working on the productive and is already content and very happy to be home.

Now I have a new dream...making this summer's flower garden the best it's ever been.

It doesn't take a lot to please me, just flowers and sunshine and knowing my kids are safe and happy.
 

that was just excellent Rainee, funny how I realized the most important things in life, not buy going for the "Great American Dream" or riches, but from just have really, bad luck I guess you could say. Failed marriages, failed jobs, struggles with health. But what I know today, is the Mexican fisherman had it all;) That is what I want in my life, I need to be doing a bit better than I am right now, but it will iron out:) That fast-lane robs people of the real happiness in life in my opinion. Not all, I'm sure but many.

Thank you for this story, such a good read:) Denise
 
Point well taken, Jill! And I think it's all about what is personally fulfilling for each individual.

I walked away from a very secure situation in the US due to a romantic dream that I've had all my life. And I lost some things but gained others. For someone who is more concerned about material issues it would have been a mistake but for me it answered my deepest heart need.
 
Point well taken, Jill! And I think it's all about what is personally fulfilling for each individual.

I walked away from a very secure situation in the US due to a romantic dream that I've had all my life. And I lost some things but gained others. For someone who is more concerned about material issues it would have been a mistake but for me it answered my deepest heart need.

That's so great Gael, I've heard too many folks on their death-bed having regrets, wishing they would have done it different. I suppose everyone has regrets, but the big ones I mean. Like, why didn't I spend more time with my kids, or why didn't I except that little piece of dirt and the man that truly loved me. Instead I went out after stardom or something. I mean I'm making that last part up, but I've heard it said.
 
That's so great Gael, I've heard too many folks on their death-bed having regrets, wishing they would have done it different. I suppose everyone has regrets, but the big ones I mean. Like, why didn't I spend more time with my kids, or why didn't I except that little piece of dirt and the man that truly loved me. Instead I went out after stardom or something. I mean I'm making that last part up, but I've heard it said.


Thank you Lady. Well, I took a massive leap and late in life but I never lacked nerve anyway. But regrets? I have plenty from a lifetime of things that were not done as they should be. But I sure didn't miss much so no regrets in that respect!
 
Great post Rainee, I'm much like the Mexican gentleman. I'm happy to have what's needed for the family, and perhaps share with a friend...then spend the rest of my time enjoying other aspects of life, aside from money. I'm living the dream in my own way, retired early as planned, still enjoying the simple life with hubby and furkids, and stopping every day to smell the roses.
 
I think life is a dream for every body, and our decisions mark the path we want it to go. Did not married the man I was in love with and engaged after a 2 year relationship while in my mid 20s; broke it up due to infidelity on his part with an aquaintance of mine. I did got married after a while and had my 3 children; marriage didn't work for long though. Never fell in love again but I had a few good relationships; didn't want to marry again as I never liked the idea of a stranger near my children (2 girls and a boy). I just had two jobs throughout my productive years before retireing: as a bilingual secretary and then, as I liked helping people, I studied to be a Social Worker. My children turn out fine, grew up to be parents themselves and have families. I always had a close relationship with extended family; lots of uncles, aunts and cousins to go out and have fun or go on vacation together, we all loved music and dancing and organizing family and friends gatherings. I wish I could have been able to travel to foreign places, other than near states in the USA and some in Mexico. I still have close friends from middle school and High School, I value honesty and fidelity very much and I taught that to my children and my 9 grandchildren. My dream turn out to be a happy one, with a few regrets.
 
I'm living my dream as a writer and an artist. It's not the one I had when I was a kid. When I was a kid, women were only supposed to want to be wives and mothers. I started writing at thirty-one and painting at fifty-one. I live in the boonies with my third husband. We have a good life, in spite of some complications.
 
That story, had I read it 25 or 30 yrs ago, would not have impressed me in the same way. It's about being happy and living life to the fullest, whatever that means to each of us. We're not all going to be rich or famous, not all of us have the talent or abilities to become "great" at something. It doesn't mean success has passed us by--success is measured in many ways but the most important thing is if we are happy with our lives. Counting our blessings can really help us gain perspective
 
That story, had I read it 25 or 30 yrs ago, would not have impressed me in the same way. It's about being happy and living life to the fullest, whatever that means to each of us. We're not all going to be rich or famous, not all of us have the talent or abilities to become "great" at something. It doesn't mean success has passed us by--success is measured in many ways but the most important thing is if we are happy with our lives. Counting our blessings can really help us gain perspective

Excellent response. It's been my experience that the rich and famous people are often not any happier than the rest of us. My second marriage was into a wealthy family. Old money. They were a lot more shallow people than those in my family who struggled to get by. My second husband did little with himself after college. These days I go for being at peace with myself and true to who I am on the inside, no matter what comes up.
 
The best laid plans of mice and men..........

Sometimes the road forks when you want to go straight, that is when my philosophy comes in: do the best you can with what you have. We will never be on any list of the rich and famous, but we have found ways to enjoy life within our means. We are 82 & 81 and tranquility has become a thing we appreciate more and more.
 
I, too, have found that the older I get the more important tranquility becomes. I agree with the philosophy to do the best with what you have. Except a few times I had to get myself out of bad situations or I would have lived miserably every after. They say bloom where you are planted. But a couple of times I had to transplant myself or die on the inside.
 
Yes, I think so. I have a cousin who did not transplant herself. She stayed with the misery, trying to convince herself she would be fine, that her husband was her best friend. And she took ant-depressants to cope. She's now 68. She recently said she's thinking of leaving her husband of 49 years. She finally realized how it really was. I feel bad for her. She clung to what we were taught, that it was a sin to get a divorce. I decided when I was 25 that I had to change my life and made the hard decisions. Again at 37 I had to make changes. Again I was judged badly by her and others in the family. She recently told me that she was sorry she wasn't there for me, but said there's nothing she could do about it now. Wrong. But at least she's finally learning and growing. When we were little we were best friends, until she became judgemental. Judgementalism is very destructive. Compassion is a better way to go, and if that doesn't work, then separating oneself from the bad situation is sometimes necessary for our own survival.
 
The best laid plans of mice and men..........

Sometimes the road forks when you want to go straight, that is when my philosophy comes in: do the best you can with what you have. We will never be on any list of the rich and famous, but we have found ways to enjoy life within our means. We are 82 & 81 and tranquility has become a thing we appreciate more and more.

Yes, or the other one, Man plans..God laughs. Life is like a ride with steering wheels on both sides of the vehicle. We don't always have complete control so unless we accept that and become adaptable, life can be quite disappointing. So, make hay when the sun shines and enjoy life, be happy with what you've been given. You don't have to be wealthy to appreciate or be happy.
 
All I wanted out of life was to become a nurse, find a good husband, have kids, have a home of my own and a close relationship with family and friends and lots of pets. I got it all if not more.. If we travel a bit, have dinner out once in awhile,that's all good, but I really don't need it. I now have two Grand kids to add to my life,an added bonus. I enjoy being home and keep busy puttering around. I have a couple of regrets. I wish I had spent a bit more time with my kids growing up instead of cleaning all the time, I guess that was the OCD thing, but they turned out great anyway so I guess I didn't cause to much damage. The relationship between my daughter and son could be better but they are of two different personalities and I can't control that. All in all I have lived my dream and then some. My only hope now is for continued good health that both my husband and I are lucky enough to enjoy.
 
My grand aunt who lived to be 97 said, she didn't mind living that long as long as she had her health. When I was 35 and she was 80, I used to say, "When I grow up to be 80, I want to be like Aunt Lottie." I'm still working on it. She adapted to the things that happened to her and did the best she could. She had a sparkle about her. I'm still learning how to sparkle. I miss her. She is one of the shoulders on which I stand.
 
I think what Manatee said is so very true. You must be able to accept that the road has forked and enjoy what you have. In my experience, those who have refused to accept the fork and have continued to insist that they will accept nothing than their original hoped-for destination are the unhappiest of all and just grow old and bitter.
 
Living your dreams has become a popular catchphrase but sometimes it is very unrealistic and even impossible.
Or do you mean goals? What's the difference? I have had a few that did not develop--failed maybe beyond my control.
I have one more left, moving a 1000 miles away to another (US) city that I have been thinking about for much of my life.
Although I have the money and am retired, I am balking at going, procrastinating and feeling weirdly nervous. I began another
thread on this forum earlier. Fearful of starting over. It would be like suddenly getting married out of theblue.
Odd isn't it?

Good story of OP.
 
I think what Manatee said is so very true. You must be able to accept that the road has forked and enjoy what you have. In my experience, those who have refused to accept the fork and have continued to insist that they will accept nothing than their original hoped-for destination are the unhappiest of all and just grow old and bitter.

Yogi Berra said, "When you come to a fork in the road take it." I like that a lot.

I am actually living my dream, but there have been a lot of glitches, and I took a lot of forks. There were monkey wrenches thrown in all over the place. It's about making the best choice each time, and knowing that sometimes we are forced to make a choice without a enough information. Such is the way of things. Life sucks. It's also wonderful at times.

Victor it sounds like you've had the sucky part at times. I always look at the pros and the cons of a situation and then go by my gut. When I fail to listen to my gut, I usually mess up.
 


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