Love Life

I have been in a relationship for over two years now with a very nice man. From the start, both of us agreed that marriage was not what we wanted. Both of us have been married twice. I was widowed at a very young age then remarried and it was the definition of pure hell (excluding my two wonderful daughters that were the only good things to come of that marriage).

My SO and I live about 30 minutes away from one another. I love my home and have no desire to move. He and I are talking about the possibility of living together at some point in the future, maybe a year from now. It's something we're considering.
 
At this point in my life it would depend. Companionship and friendship would be nice to start with, and we'd have to see if and how it developed from there. I can say that for me to become romantically involved, we'd have to be head over heels for each other. Where would it go from there and how would it pan out? Only time would tell.

Not long ago, I was seeing a very nice gentleman. He genuinely liked me and I thought he had a lot going for him. As we got to know each other better, I realized it wouldn't work out because we just weren't on the same page politically. Despite his good qualities, that's a dealbreaker for me. No can do. I cut him loose and told him why. He wasn't happy, but he was gentleman about it. Will I meet someone else? Who knows? If it happens, that's great, but I'm not looking.
 

I
jujube said:
My mom had a great relationship with her gentleman friend for several years before his death.

He lived in a high-rise beach-front condo and she lived in the woods on a creek.

He'd come over every night, she'd fix dinner, they'd have a Scotch or two and retire. In the morning, she'd fix breakfast and pack him a lunch and He'd go home to watch his TV shows all day (she wouldn't allow a TV in her house). That evening, he'd be back. He'd also frequently take her out for fine dining and he gave her an extremely generous amount of money to buy the food, etc.

Saturdays and Sundays, he usually spent at his son's house as they were all big sports fans and loved to watch the games on a big screen TV.

This arrangement gave her her days and weekends to spend with her large amount of friends or however she wanted.

It was an ideal arrangement until he died.
Click to expand...
It does sound like an ideal arrangement. It allowed them to live the way they both wanted and yet still enjoy each other's companionship.
 
MickaC said:
After my divorce in 2016, being on my own was a breath of fresh air.
Was not looking for a companion……then, out of the blue, a relationship was developing…..after just over 2 years of that…..I got dumped.
Took a very long time to get over that…..we hadn’t got to the point of living together.
I then came to the reality that…..I don’t need to be with someone to be happy…..perfectly happy as I am now.
I will let someone in for a good friendship, sharing, spending time with, but not to move in.
Click to expand...
Sounds like you are in good company when you are by yourself. No need to mess with that.
 
Bella said:
At this point in my life it would depend. Companionship and friendship would be nice to start with, and we'd have to see if and how it developed from there. I can say that for me to become romantically involved, we'd have to be head over heels for each other. Where would it go from there and how would it pan out? Only time would tell.

Not long ago, I was seeing a very nice gentleman. He genuinely liked me and I thought he had a lot going for him. As we got to know each other better, I realized it wouldn't work out because we just weren't on the same page politically. Despite his good qualities, that's a dealbreaker for me. No can do. I cut him loose and told him why. He wasn't happy, but he was gentleman about it. Will I meet someone else? Who knows? If it happens, that's great, but I'm not looking.
Click to expand...
Makes sense. Some things just wouldn't work. It's like a devoutly religious person and an atheist living together.
 
Leann said:
I have been in a relationship for over two years now with a very nice man. From the start, both of us agreed that marriage was not what we wanted. Both of us have been married twice. I was widowed at a very young age then remarried and it was the definition of pure hell (excluding my two wonderful daughters that were the only good things to come of that marriage).

My SO and I live about 30 minutes away from one another. I love my home and have no desire to move. He and I are talking about the possibility of living together at some point in the future, maybe a year from now. It's something we're considering.
Click to expand...
It does seem wise to not rush into that decision. Give it time to percolate until all doubt are put to rest.
 
Jeni said:
I would like to live with someone......it gets old being alone IMO.
as both late in life the kids etc could be an issue ....
Some kids do not like parents with another person ....... the blended family issues etc ......
so dating and living separate may work best.
Click to expand...
I think that's wise. Sure they probably want you to be happy and not lonely, but it's still dicey because it may not work out, and you are left dealing with trying to extricate yourself from that relationship. It's just easier when you're dating.
 
I have been single since 1987. Decided that I never wanted to marry again - and after 2000,decided I didn't even want to date. I do not live alone, however. My daughter, grandson and great grandson live with me, so I'm hardly lonely. I've has male friends but nothing even approaching
"partner" relationships and I'm perfectly happy with that
 
I would not live with someone again. 14 years single after my last divorce, and I'm very independent, haven't lost my spunk yet, would be open to dating if someone intrigued me enough to tempt me. But only dating, not move in together nor marry. Been there, did that, I'm happiest making my own decisions, going places with friends when I want.The anticipation of dating brings out the best in most of us.That is the best place to be. And to stay.

Truth be told they would thank me for it. 😊
 
humans keep on trying it and trying it and well you know the rest - we should maybe chat to a good wholesome priests [your selection of creed?] and ask them how they manage - Christ managed very well even with female admirers and followers - It would be good to read a good account of his social interactions with the ladies??? - same with Buddha and other holymen and there are a few women too these days - Tenzin Palmo - who wrote Cave in the Snow - powerful account of the isolated life - well worth a read for men and women!!
 
Right Now said:
I would not live with someone again. 14 years single after my last divorce, and I'm very independent, haven't lost my spunk yet, would be open to dating if someone intrigued me enough to tempt me. But only dating, not move in together nor marry. Been there, did that, I'm happiest making my own decisions, going places with friends when I want.The anticipation of dating brings out the best in most of us.That is the best place to be. And to stay.

Truth be told they would thank me for it. 😊
Click to expand...
Yes, independence is a wonderful thing to have and a difficult thing to give up. I love your humor at the end as well.
 
davey said:
humans keep on trying it and trying it and well you know the rest - we should maybe chat to a good wholesome priests [your selection of creed?] and ask them how they manage - Christ managed very well even with female admirers and followers - It would be good to read a good account of his social interactions with the ladies??? - same with Buddha and other holymen and there are a few women too these days - Tenzin Palmo - who wrote Cave in the Snow - powerful account of the isolated life - well worth a read for men and women!!
Click to expand...
I think there are trade-offs to every lifestyle. You give up one thing, but get another. I't just a matter of deciding what's most important, and be willing to give up the rest.
 
It's funny that I am reading this now. Just a few days ago my husband and I had this discussion. We are married for over 50 yrs and I told him if something happened to me I would want him to get married again. I would want him to have someone to care for him. He then asked me if I would marry again if something happened to him. I said " No way".
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Back
Top