Married couples power roles

Mr. Ed

Mr. Ed

Be what you is not what you what you ain’t
Location
Central NY
I don’t feel I have an ounce of power overcoming my wife’s authority. When I make a stand according to her I am being a bully?
What is a guy to do when a spouse won’t let him have his way about getting a new pet?
I asked for a time line when I may expect a new pet, she just got made and started to walk away from dinner. I stopped her by me excusing myself from dinner. I am reminded of Joe South’s hit song, “oh the games people play every night and every day now”
I won’t win this game because it is conducted according to her rules and her balls obviously taken from me in the still of the night.
 

Mr. Ed said:
I don’t feel I have an ounce of power overcoming my wife’s authority. When I make a stand according to her I am being a bully?
What is a guy to do when a spouse won’t let him have his way about getting a new pet?
I asked for a time line when I may expect a new pet, she just got made and started to walk away from dinner. I stopped her by me excusing myself from dinner. I am reminded of Joe South’s hit song, “oh the games people play every night and every day now”
I won’t win this game because it is conducted according to her rules and her balls obviously taken from me in the still of the night.
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First of all, there are both sides to every story. My husband and I have both been in agreement over the years of when to get a new pet and what kind we should get. It is for the animal's benefit for all in the household to be welcoming.

What is her objection to your wanting a pet? Are you active on a daily basis in caring for and loving pets in the past? Do you feed, pick up after and walk your pets.....or is that job primarily on her shoulders?

Your first problem is calling this a game IMO. If you feel she has taken your 'balls', if true, there may be a reason. Until you search your own soul in this matter, prepare to be disappointed. As an animal lover, I await your response.

I don't think anyone who is irresponsible should be a pet owner, and I think if everyone responsible is on the same page, there should not be an issue.
 
I have 3 dogs, it is a huge responsibility to take care of them. Even if my husband was still living, it would still fall to me. He was fine about playing with them but he never did the hard part.

They not only need food and water. They need to be bathed, taken to the vet or groomer. Someone has to clean the house, keep the floors vacummed and mopped. Someone has to clean up if the pet is sick or has accidents. There is so much required to care for a helpless animal. It is much like having a child. At least a child can tell you, at some point, if they don't feel well. A pet, you have to be aware everyday, know the animal, how much it eats, drinks, goes potty to make sure they are safe and not having any kind of illness.

Do you do all these things? Are you the owner that loves a pet but does not do the needed everyday tasks? Do you just want to love and play, leave the tough stuff to your wife? If you already have pets, why do you feel the need to add to the family? Of the three I have two of them were products of others needs or wants. Yes, I should have said no but part of it was out of my control. I love and care for them but I would not have taken on the responsibility on my own. choosing.
 
John cycling said:
I would never want to get a pet that wasn't a mutual decision.
Also a pet like a dog for example, is a huge responsibility for both people.

@Mr. Ed - Instead of getting a pet, perhaps there are things you can do for your wife.
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You mean like pet my wife?
 
Blessed said:
I have 3 dogs, it is a huge responsibility to take care of them. Even if my husband was still living, it would still fall to me. He was fine about playing with them but he never did the hard part.

They not only need food and water. They need to be bathed, taken to the vet or groomer. Someone has to clean the house, keep the floors vacummed and mopped. Someone has to clean up if the pet is sick or has accidents. There is so much required to care for a helpless animal. It is much like having a child. At least a child can tell you, at some point, if they don't feel well. A pet, you have to be aware everyday, know the animal, how much it eats, drinks, goes potty to make sure they are safe and not having any kind of illness.

Do you do all these things? Are you the owner that loves a pet but does not do the needed everyday tasks? Do you just want to love and play, leave the tough stuff to your wife? If you already have pets, why do you feel the need to add to the family? Of the three I have two of them were products of others needs or wants. Yes, I should have said no but part of it was out of my control. I love and care for them but I would not have taken on the responsibility on my own. choosing.
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I did all of the work for Charlie when I had him. There is another element at play here, I don’t want to fall into a deep depression as a result of surrendering Charlie to be rehomed and I feel that happening.
Fortunately, I have an interview for TMS therapy Tuesday.
 
Am I totally mis-remembering, or do you not have dogs already (I don't mean Charlie... other dogs.) And are they not your wife's dogs? Pretty sure that's what you've said in the past... so I guess I'm not understanding the problem here. It's not because she doesn't want a pet, or a dog because she already has some. So... well what is her objection exactly? Are the dogs you already have not "your" dogs, too? Hope this works out for you in any case. 🤗
 
Perhaps being selfish wanting to raise my own dog, however, when Charlie was here I had purpose and a job to do taking care of Charlie and I miss that. It’s not the same without him.
 
Mr. Ed said:
Perhaps being selfish wanting to raise my own dog, however, when Charlie was here I had purpose and a job to do taking care of Charlie and I miss that. It’s not the same without him.
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:cry: It's not selfish, Ed... nothing wrong with it at all. Are you comfortable sharing what her specific objections are?
 
Pepper said:
You are childish. Your wife is the constant adult. Think about the stress you cause her. You should count your blessings.
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Yes, childish, however, given each other’s life opportunities and handicaps, I did alright for myself.
There is no comparison between my wife’s talents and my own. Nonetheless we continue to compliment each other’s shortcomings and positive attributes.
I like it when my wife care’s for me, a benefit to our marriage union.
 
Mr. Ed said:
I don’t feel I have an ounce of power overcoming my wife’s authority. When I make a stand according to her I am being a bully?
What is a guy to do when a spouse won’t let him have his way about getting a new pet?
I asked for a time line when I may expect a new pet, she just got made and started to walk away from dinner. I stopped her by me excusing myself from dinner. I am reminded of Joe South’s hit song, “oh the games people play every night and every day now”
I won’t win this game because it is conducted according to her rules and her balls obviously taken from me in the still of the night.
Click to expand...
Well steal your balls back. 🤷‍♀️
 
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