Massachusetts Rebound

Pepper said:
Generally speaking, where are you in Massachusetts? I lived in Lynn, on the coast, 5 miles south of Salem. I love Massachusetts. It's a state that cares about its residents.
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The big problem here is the services for totally disabled old people (and others, I'm sure) are not being provided. My cousin is working on that, in conjunction with many agencies and a state senator.

A social worker came by today. She said that he had to work 10 hours (a week? a month?, not sure) to receive services under some new program, even though he is 100% permanently disabled and elderly. To get around the work requirement, he has to lie. He won't lie. He is going to put volunteer work on the form - work he actually does, which involves talking only.

This is nuts. He is supposed to receive a lot of services, including a personal care attendant (PCA), 7 days a week. He hasn't had it for more than a day a week in 2 months. The agency sent him a bill for August for over $400 for his co-pays, but he received no PCA services in August.

So when I get time, I'm going to look into fraudulent billing. Meanwhile, Cousin is hiring a retired nurse, and paying for her services twice a week.
 
All is well. I spend a lot of time doing stuff and my stamina has increased.

The three dogs all think I am "Mom" and they follow me everywhere -- it's a parade. I have really good nonverbal communication with Cousin's dogs, which surprised me. It's nearly as good as I have with Aidan. The difference between the dogs' vocabularies is huge, though. I'm going to teach Cousin's dogs some words for things. They've both got blue ribbons in obedience, so that's not a problem. Aidan doesn't exactly shine in that area - he thinks about obeying before he does it unless there is a treat involved.

Cousin is going to be divested of some funds so I can get his dogs beds. There are no soft surfaces in this house except for beds. The dogs want to sleep with me, and that would be fine, except Aidan won't allow it. Cousin sleeps in his wheelchair until one of these services can get him a "meat hook" so he can sleep in a bed for the first time in 4 years. Really, being in a wheelchair for so long is not good for him, but it is like fighting the Roman Army to get things done for him. He handles that, and runs the situations that occur by me for my concurrence.

I have started cooking real homemade meals, which Cousin loves. He smells food cooking and starts early with the "when is dinner?" routine. It's like a kid asking are we there yet. Dinner takes forever to make, either because there is no counter space, so I have to move things around to make room to cook - and this takes some ingenuity because there is no free space to move it to. I figure this adds 1-1.5 hours to my dinner preparation, no lie. Well, that time does include stopping to do something for Cousin... put his compression shoes back on, make him coffee, get him a snack ... and things for the dogs, too.

Anyway, I am busy all the time. I get up between 3:30 and 5 a.m., nap for 2 hours in late morning, and about 1/3 of the time take a long nap after dinner. This is really like going to bed super early. My sleep schedule is all screwed up, but I get 8 or 9 hours every 24 hours.

I do have a feeding schedule. People get fed at 6 am, 12 noon, and 6 pm. Dogs get fed at 5 am and 5 pm. My dog gets fed at mid-morning and after the people eat dinner (that is what he likes). Dogs get night-night cookies at 8 or 9 p.m. and a little snack at noon. Cousin's dogs would eat all day long if they could - even dog food.
 
WheatenLover said:
All is well. I spend a lot of time doing stuff and my stamina has increased.

The three dogs all think I am "Mom" and they follow me everywhere -- it's a parade. I have really good nonverbal communication with Cousin's dogs, which surprised me. It's nearly as good as I have with Aidan. The difference between the dogs' vocabularies is huge, though. I'm going to teach Cousin's dogs some words for things. They've both got blue ribbons in obedience, so that's not a problem. Aidan doesn't exactly shine in that area - he thinks about obeying before he does it unless there is a treat involved.

Cousin is going to be divested of some funds so I can get his dogs beds. There are no soft surfaces in this house except for beds. The dogs want to sleep with me, and that would be fine, except Aidan won't allow it. Cousin sleeps in his wheelchair until one of these services can get him a "meat hook" so he can sleep in a bed for the first time in 4 years. Really, being in a wheelchair for so long is not good for him, but it is like fighting the Roman Army to get things done for him. He handles that, and runs the situations that occur by me for my concurrence.

I have started cooking real homemade meals, which Cousin loves. He smells food cooking and starts early with the "when is dinner?" routine. It's like a kid asking are we there yet. Dinner takes forever to make, either because there is no counter space, so I have to move things around to make room to cook - and this takes some ingenuity because there is no free space to move it to. I figure this adds 1-1.5 hours to my dinner preparation, no lie. Well, that time does include stopping to do something for Cousin... put his compression shoes back on, make him coffee, get him a snack ... and things for the dogs, too.

Anyway, I am busy all the time. I get up between 3:30 and 5 a.m., nap for 2 hours in late morning, and about 1/3 of the time take a long nap after dinner. This is really like going to bed super early. My sleep schedule is all screwed up, but I get 8 or 9 hours every 24 hours.

I do have a feeding schedule. People get fed at 6 am, 12 noon, and 6 pm. Dogs get fed at 5 am and 5 pm. My dog gets fed at mid-morning and after the people eat dinner (that is what he likes). Dogs get night-night cookies at 8 or 9 p.m. and a little snack at noon. Cousin's dogs would eat all day long if they could - even dog food.
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It sounds like you are really keeping busy, and enjoying the challenges. I love that you have a schedule, and are following a regular routine! 💗
 
Sliverfox said:
Wheaten? Is your son still with you?
Can he help you someway?

An idea about counter /work space is see if you can get a handy man to make you a fold down extension.
Our RV had one,, very handy item .
It was big enough to hold an electric griddle.

If you aren't sure what I mean ,,, check out some Rvs or speak with a carpenter.
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Yes, my son is still here. We are working on making space in his bedroom for him to walk. Right now he is sleeping in the living room, which is not ideal.

The extension would block the entrance to the kitchen, even when folded down. Every little 1/4" counts with a big wheelchair and a standard doorway into the kitchen. There is no way to widen the doorway. The small space between it and the back door is filled with electrical wiring.
 
Trila said:
It sounds like you are really keeping busy, and enjoying the challenges. I love that you have a schedule, and are following a regular routine! 💗
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I have to, Trila. Otherwise I am besieged by hungry dogs and hungry people. Dogs, as you likely know, love routines. So does Cousin. I get that - he's been in this wheelchair for 4 or more years, 24/7/365. He has to have some of his needs/wants met automatically. Having to ask for help all the time isn't fun - at least it wouldn't be for me. I've gotten pretty good at anticipating his needs before he has to ask -- this mostly revolves around food and coffee.

The dogs are getting along well, unless Cousin's dogs come into my bedroom and get on the bed. Then Aidan becomes Mr. Growly/Barky at the top of his lungs. Cousin's dogs just lie on the bed and look at him and roll their eyes at me. To solve this, I leave the room, the dogs follow me, and I double back and close the door.

This happens because I get up too early for Aidan, so I leave the door ajar when I go downstairs. I don't care if all three dogs sleep with me, but Aidan obviously is not going for that idea.

Right now they are all sleeping on the kitchen floor. Peace and quiet reigns until Cousin gets up. Two things I love are quiet and lack of clutter and organization of stuff. Right now, I am basking in one of those!
 
WheatenLover said:
I have to, Trila. Otherwise I am besieged by hungry dogs and hungry people. Dogs, as you likely know, love routines. So does Cousin. I get that - he's been in this wheelchair for 4 or more years, 24/7/365. He has to have some of his needs/wants met automatically. Having to ask for help all the time isn't fun - at least it wouldn't be for me. I've gotten pretty good at anticipating his needs before he has to ask -- this mostly revolves around food and coffee.

The dogs are getting along well, unless Cousin's dogs come into my bedroom and get on the bed. Then Aidan becomes Mr. Growly/Barky at the top of his lungs. Cousin's dogs just lie on the bed and look at him and roll their eyes at me. To solve this, I leave the room, the dogs follow me, and I double back and close the door.

This happens because I get up too early for Aidan, so I leave the door ajar when I go downstairs. I don't care if all three dogs sleep with me, but Aidan obviously is not going for that idea.

Right now they are all sleeping on the kitchen floor. Peace and quiet reigns until Cousin gets up. Two things I love are quiet and lack of clutter and organization of stuff. Right now, I am basking in one of those!
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Everyone needs to have their own "personal space"...and it sounds like Aiden has claimed your bed as his space!

As you arrange things your way, the clutter will slowly go away. Give it time. For now, just enjoy your moments of quiet!
 
Sliverfox said:
Wheaten? Is your son still with you?
Can he help you someway?

An idea about counter /work space is see if you can get a handy man to make you a fold down extension.
Our RV had one,, very handy item .
It was big enough to hold an electric griddle.

If you aren't sure what I mean ,,, check out some Rvs or speak with a carpenter.
Click to expand...
Frankly, the counter space is a problem because Cousin and his deceased wife have to much stuff for the space to put it in. It seems like everything known to mankind is shoved willy-nilly into every piece of furniture, cabinet, drawer, closet, and room.

A few days ago, something Cousin ordered arrived in a green plastic container. He debated keeping the packaging in case he could use the plastic someday to make windows for one of his train sets. I said, if you can find a place to put it that is not in the kitchen, keep it. Otherwise, it was trash a few minutes ago and it is still trash now. Buying a small piece of green translucent plastic is cheap, if he needs it. Meanwhile with one paralyzed hand and the other one with limited usefulness, he can't make train windows and fit them into trains. And he will never be able to.

Everything is so disorganized that when Cousin asks me to find something that is either in the X, Y, or Z, I just say that if I run across it, I'll bring it to him. I am not searching for something someone else added to the stuff, and I am not organizing or cleaning rooms I do not use. I didn't hoard it, and I'm not going to de-hoard it. The cherry on top is I can want to toss the grungiest, least useful thing, and Cousin says no. Does he use it, has it been used in the last *decade*, can it be replaced cheaply if he ever needs it?

Put it this way -- when Cousin uses the excuse that he cooks and bakes (for kitchen stuff), I now point out that cooking frozen fish sticks or making toast in the toaster oven is not cooking and baking. Besides, he can't reach things on the stove or put things in the oven because of his wheelchair.

I bought him a new toaster oven. One that doesn't have grime heat-infused all over the inside of it. It is more compact, and uses up less room on the counter than the old filthy one.
 
RadishRose said:
Wheaten are you able to make some freezer meals ahead and then just thaw and bake, just heat up?
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Sure, but when I do that -- by doubling or tripling the recipe -- Cousin and son eat it all by the next day. Also, the freezer didn't get de-filled until my son and I spent September literally eating frozen fried fish, frozen fried chicken patties, and hamburgers for lunch and dinner. That is what Cousin has subsisted on for years, for lunch and dinner. Naturally, he very much prefers the home-cooked food that October brought, once there was room in the freezer!

Son is no longer a vegan or eating a gluten-free diet. Didn't ask why because cooking for a vegan/gluten-free person and 2 non-vegans is a pain.
 
Well, yesterday was fun! My Cousin's best friend lives down the road, and he and his wife came over. Wife came into the house (I'd met her once before) and announced she come to get me to to go with her to buy hay and gourds. I said sure, and off we went, but not before we had to catch one of the Aussies, whom her husband accidentally let out. That dog runs like the wind. He ran to the left side of the back lawn, and I was close by, but by the time I got there, he was at the barn on the far right side of the lawn. Then he crossed the street, and my new friend caught him, and I went to the house to get a harness and leash.

The best parts were the dog didn't get hit by a vehicle, and I had the stamina and energy to participate in trying to capture him. That surprised me -- there are hills and wide swaths of land.

On our travels, we stopped for coffee, picked up my son from work, and went to the senior center. I met the town librarian. She is beautiful, soft-spoken (I could listen to her talk forever) and looks like she should be in a tv show set in a small town in New England. She just happened to be there when we stopped at the senior center to put the gourds into a fall display.

So the lady who came to free me from captivity (j/k) is someone I liked right away when I met her. Turns out we have a lot in common. Our world views are very similar, and so are our senses of humor. She is really nice, too -- not cranky or mean. We both love dogs and despise housework. We both prefer to shop at thrift stores to find cool clothes. We both know a lot about accounting.

It is nice to be making a friend.
 
WheatenLover said:
Well, yesterday was fun! My Cousin's best friend lives down the road, and he and his wife came over. Wife came into the house (I'd met her once before) and announced she come to get me to to go with her to buy hay and gourds. I said sure, and off we went, but not before we had to catch one of the Aussies, whom her husband accidentally let out. That dog runs like the wind. He ran to the left side of the back lawn, and I was close by, but by the time I got there, he was at the barn on the far right side of the lawn. Then he crossed the street, and my new friend caught him, and I went to the house to get a harness and leash.

The best parts were the dog didn't get hit by a vehicle, and I had the stamina and energy to participate in trying to capture him. That surprised me -- there are hills and wide swaths of land.

On our travels, we stopped for coffee, picked up my son from work, and went to the senior center. I met the town librarian. She is beautiful, soft-spoken (I could listen to her talk forever) and looks like she should be in a tv show set in a small town in New England. She just happened to be there when we stopped at the senior center to put the gourds into a fall display.

So the lady who came to free me from captivity (j/k) is someone I liked right away when I met her. Turns out we have a lot in common. Our world views are very similar, and so are our senses of humor. She is really nice, too -- not cranky or mean. We both love dogs and despise housework. We both prefer to shop at thrift stores to find cool clothes. We both know a lot about accounting.

It is nice to be making a friend.
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I'm sorry that I have not been following your posts. Today is the first day that I feel well enough to do some catching up. I'm glad I did! This post has filled me with joy! (something that I have not had in a while) I'm so happy that you have someone to do things with! I hope that the two of you have endless adventures! 😘
 
Wheaten,,, how I wish that I had asked where you were in PA.
Perhaps we could have met somewhere .

On the side of making new friends,, appears I've met a few ladies whom have similar likes.
Yesterday at the antique store ,, we needed a cabinet unlocked so Hubby could get a Coke truck he liked.

The manager & I got to talking as she helped me.
I don't know how long we talked , subjects of the conversation changed quickly.
I finally remarked that we were so alike in likes,,, that I could spend more time talking with her.

The antique store is located in an old feed mill.
Several levels with displays of old & some. new items.
All very nicely done.

Hubby was having problems with all the walking ,, she told him there is a nice chair up front to rest in.

Its meeting folks like that that help make your day . :love:
 
Thanksgiving was so tiring. I spent three days preparing for it. Cousin's aunt-by-marriage joined us. She is 90 years old, looks 70, acts even younger -- full of energy, very talkative. I enjoyed her company. She still jogs every day. She talked, I listened while wondering all the while how she could be 90 years old. She still drives, she lives alone in a log cabin she built on the side of a mountain, she has a dog. I kept wondering if she goes home and collapses, or whether her energy never falters.

The dogs loved Thanksgiving. I tell you, cooking and baking in a small kitchen with three dogs hot on my heels is interesting. I am more agile than I thought!

Son is moving to CA in a week or two. His brother has persuaded him that the can make a lot of money there. If he doesn't, he will return here. This was a shock to me. I thought we had agreed to give it a year here.

Aidan has been limping. Cousin says take him to the vet. Well, he's been to the vet, the e-vet, etc., for limping before. When he enters the vet's office, the limp disappears. So I cleaned his paw -- there was mud stuck in the hair on the bottom of his foot. Plus he'd already removed some and had torn out the hair so he has a tiny skin-free place. I doctored him, and took the opportunity to clip his claws and begin grooming him.

The dog yard here is all dirt. Grass planting is in my future. My dog's color changed from all the dirt. It is tracked throughout the house, and I have to sweep daily. He has to go to Petco for a bath soon. But I can groom him myself. He may not look ready for a dog show, but at least he won't be shaggy.

The mud just falls off the Aussies .... my rough collie was like that, too. Aidan looks like Pigpen in comparison. He is getting a sponge bath again today. We have a claw-footed tub and there is no way we can get him in there. He fights like a banshee to not get into a normal tub. This one is higher and bigger, and so, I will finagle a way to at least get him back to being wheaten colored instead of lightish, dingy brown.

Cousin's dogs still love me. I told Cousin we need to get a loveseat, at least, so there is some soft furniture here. His dogs want me to cuddle them, but my lap isn't big enough without somewhere to sit. Those dogs definitely need their affection cup filled up. If I could spend all day cuddling them they would eventually be less needy. Of course, Aidan wouldn't like that.
 
WheatenLover said:
Thanksgiving was so tiring. I spent three days preparing for it. Cousin's aunt-by-marriage joined us. She is 90 years old, looks 70, acts even younger -- full of energy, very talkative. I enjoyed her company. She still jogs every day. She talked, I listened while wondering all the while how she could be 90 years old. She still drives, she lives alone in a log cabin she built on the side of a mountain, she has a dog. I kept wondering if she goes home and collapses, or whether her energy never falters.

The dogs loved Thanksgiving. I tell you, cooking and baking in a small kitchen with three dogs hot on my heels is interesting. I am more agile than I thought!

Son is moving to CA in a week or two. His brother has persuaded him that the can make a lot of money there. If he doesn't, he will return here. This was a shock to me. I thought we had agreed to give it a year here.

Aidan has been limping. Cousin says take him to the vet. Well, he's been to the vet, the e-vet, etc., for limping before. When he enters the vet's office, the limp disappears. So I cleaned his paw -- there was mud stuck in the hair on the bottom of his foot. Plus he'd already removed some and had torn out the hair so he has a tiny skin-free place. I doctored him, and took the opportunity to clip his claws and begin grooming him.

The dog yard here is all dirt. Grass planting is in my future. My dog's color changed from all the dirt. It is tracked throughout the house, and I have to sweep daily. He has to go to Petco for a bath soon. But I can groom him myself. He may not look ready for a dog show, but at least he won't be shaggy.

The mud just falls off the Aussies .... my rough collie was like that, too. Aidan looks like Pigpen in comparison. He is getting a sponge bath again today. We have a claw-footed tub and there is no way we can get him in there. He fights like a banshee to not get into a normal tub. This one is higher and bigger, and so, I will finagle a way to at least get him back to being wheaten colored instead of lightish, dingy brown.

Cousin's dogs still love me. I told Cousin we need to get a loveseat, at least, so there is some soft furniture here. His dogs want me to cuddle them, but my lap isn't big enough without somewhere to sit. Those dogs definitely need their affection cup filled up. If I could spend all day cuddling them they would eventually be less needy. Of course, Aidan wouldn't like that.
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I'm fascinated by your posts. Especially by Cousin's aunt-by-marriage!
Don't work too hard, my friend.
 
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