Meeting and Relating to People Your Age

When I was eighteen, my best friend's sister, age 30, wanted to be friends with me. I thought, "why does she want to be friends with a dope like me?" We became excellent friends for many loving years.
 

I am not interested with women much younger than me. I know some guys are and I wonder about them. There has been that time or three my wife has asked me do I look good in this dress, and I would say yes. Then she will say Oh are you going to trade me in for a younger model. I would say No I would not be able to keep up with a young woman. I would not be able to keep up with the things young women like to. I think you are stuck with me.
 
Certainly there is some common ground among seniors, which is why I'm here. But there are many things dividing us as well.

My neighbor wants to be friendly, but to her that means getting out and about, whereas I'd rather just meet for coffee. The other neighbor is an 84-year-old whirlwind, and much too busy to bother with me.

Most people my age have money, a house, and maybe a spouse, and their daily concerns are unlike mine. Some are always talking about their "meds" (while all I take is an antihistamine once every 10 years or so). Some have the TV on all day. And my taste in music is, well, no Adele for me, thanks.

My criteria for friendship don't have much to do with age. I'm more interested in shared values, interests, intelligence level, etc. But because of differences in energy levels and so on, there is only so much I can do with a young person.

I can understand how an over-80 would get tired of exhortations to do things they just can't do. I've experienced it myself. For example, although I can walk around my apartment, or a store, I can't "go for a walk" without regret.

I can see a need for a forum for over-80s. Maybe someone can start one?
 

I'm fine associating with other active adults of all ages. What the OP seems to be more narrowly discussing is romantic interests. Beyond friendships for common interests and fun, will directly tell gals although I may look just a bit older than you, I'm probably older than your parents.

Its a problem for this person as I tend to be involved in outdoor activities dominated by younger adults like snow skiing. My body has aged slower than others, possibly due to long protective telomeres on gene ends. Eventually we all become old and frail then pass into eternity.
 
NorthernLight said:
their daily concerns are unlike mine.
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I hear that; most of the women in my age group around here have kids, grandkids, in some cases great-grandkids; a lot are churchgoers; most don't ever watch the same movies or tv that I do; abso. none seem to be the slightest interested in the news, current affairs, science (and "less than none" in science fiction or fantasy); so we have nothing in common and when there's abso. nothing in common, what is there to talk about? (Their kids/gkds/ggkids; that's what there is to talk about & I listen.)

I've been told by women on other sites that I'm wrong that it's hard to make friends or even just acquaintances when you have nothing in common, and they always tell me about someone they're friends with that they have little or nothing in common with and how they're such good friends. But you know what? You check a little and you always find out that they've been friends with this other person since they were kids, usually very young kids. If kids are young enough, they'll play, interact, and even in some cases make friends with kids different than they are; kind of like friendly little puppies. Once you grow past that age, though, it becomes a lot harder, especially if you have so little in common that there's either nothing to talk about or it's a one-way conversation all about their interests (their kids/gkids).
 
I find myself becoming friends with people online more due to my interests rather than my age. This is the only forum I have joined due to my age. Though to be honest, I joined at a time when I was sick of politics and needed relief from fakebook and its so called "values". As to people I know in person that I interact with that is limited due to living in a senior living building. I am close friends with a couple of ladies who are older than me and a couple around my same age. If there were younger people living here I possibly would be friends with them also. I have always had younger people come to me for advice in the past. If I went out to events or some type of group things I would possibly meet others but I don't.
 
We moved to a retirement community that is an unincorporated town. There were over 100 clubs and organizations to choose from and we enjoyed it. There were 4 recreation centers plus other facilities I went to photo club, computer club and volunteered with the Sheriff's Posse. My wife went to sewing club and a couple of other groups.
14 years later when we returned to Florida, we bought a condo in a retirement community (the geezer ghetto). Again clubs and organizations to join. The gulf beaches are an easy distance away, but we had no problems from Ian or Irma.
The 2 communities are quite different, but we all speak "geezer".
 
katlupe said:
I think the key is to research what you need to do to improve your mobility as soon as you notice something is off (or before). Start improving your immune system before you have something wrong. Keeping busy doing things has helped me a lot.
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Most senior citizens in their sixties and seventies think there is a key to preventing wearing out and dying but there isn’t. Keeping busy or improving your immune system hasn’t helped anyone in their seventies overcome the issues of the 80s because they haven’t reached 80 yet and have no idea what their issues may be.
 
A lot of people where I live in a Senior Living facility just cannot converse anymore. One lady, who lives in an apartment across the hall from me cannot remember if she had 8 or 9 children. I learned she had 4.

I'd much rather engage in discourse with younger folks who aren't afflicted with dementia as yet.

I feel so sorry for my neighbors, yet, believe it or not, most are truly happy people. And, I can understand why.
 
IrisSenior said:
I am 70 now and I am so worried about my physical in later years. I have been walking everyday for an hour now for over 2 years. I do feel better and stronger and have lost some weight but I still feel it is not enough. Bad days when I have overworked myself and am sore the next day is solved by doctor prescribed pain meds but I do not want to depend on them in later years. Planning on joining a recreation club with younger son and go to public swim a couple of times a week. Really trying to incorporate more fruit everyday in my diet.
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One of my favorite musicians abused his body most of his life with drugs, alcohol, tobacco, and lack of regular exercise. He is now 83 and most of my friends and relatives who practiced good diets and exercise died in their 70s.
 
Well Tabby Ann, meeting and relating to people my age has never been something I've done. Pretty much a loner. Been involved in many activities, just never warm up to people. Tend toward being selective in my associates.

Was raised on the outskirts of town without any playmates or siblings about. Both my parents worked. Had to find ways to entertain and grow myself. So, in that way sort of became self-reliant. And following and participating in motorsports all my life. A solitary undertaking in a group environment, as it were.

Being retired military in a non-military town leaves me no one to bond with by sharing experiences.

Cancer took my wife of twenty-three years back 2009. Linda was a people person, very outgoing and great at meeting people. With her gone, reverted back to my old, introverted self. Sharon lives with me now. She is a published author and spends her day writing and editing her works. All her contacts are online, so no one to meet there.

Hanging out in the workshop working on RC cars is my thing. Used to bird. That was fun and met some people there. We drifted apart. Say 'Hi' to the mailman daily and 'Hi' to 'Jose (yard maintenance) once a week.

Living in Houston doesn't help. This town is s-o-o-o big. Going anywhere is all traffic and once you get there its all people everywhere anyway. Basically, it's an entertainment and stick-and-ball town. Neither my thing. Even Korea as populated as it is wasn't this bad. Ergo, we stay home.

Bottom line, solitary man here. Strange, was also a favorite song of mine. Thinking that was Neil Diamond? Anyway, not happy nor unhappy with meeting and relating to people, just my lot in life. Arnold

[edit: took out a ton of "I's". Hope it does not read so self-centered now.]
 
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I am fortunate that my wife is my best friend. TMS therapy helped me reconcile childhood trauma by overcoming depression. I mention this as the source by which I am able to converse in conversation for longer periods of time, and heightened participation in social activities.
My wife and I agree our marriage has improved based on communication and my intent to listen.
 
I think that a lot of folks seem to "generalize" when describing older folks. We hear " work out at the gym - -walk X miles per day. lose weight, and such. All good ideas IF as you age, all of the parts continue to work after a fashion. Some of the abuse that we gave our bodies in our younger years now start to show. If you're lucky, some can be replaced but what I might have replaced, the person next to me can't because of other complications unique to him.

There's no one size fits all" when it comes to aging, IMHO. My wife and I did fine until we turned the corner into our mid 80's. Now, at 86 and 88, everything becomes a struggle. Her driving license was removed by the Motor vehicle Dept. because of her eyesight. I just lost the vision in one eye (not repairable) and wonder if I'll lose mine when future eye tests say my driving days are over. We both use canes/walkers and thank the Lord that our kids and grandkids are nearby to help with daily errands and such.

I don't want to put a damper on this thread but even when doing the workouts and exercises, it'll only get you so far and the rest in in the hands of good genes. :)
 
When she was 99, a reporter asked Betty White the key to her longevity and she said she avoided eating anything green. I'm sure she was joking about the green stuff but I'm also sure she understood that a silly question deserved a silly answer. The human body is too complex, along with all the viruses, bacteria, deterioration, pollution, man-made and natural disasters that can attack it to know a magic key that will provide good health and longevity in the future. Healthy living can at best help you in the here and now.
 
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DaveA said:
There's no one size fits all" when it comes to aging, IMHO. My wife and I did fine until we turned the corner into our mid 80's. Now, at 86 and 88, everything becomes a struggle. Her driving license was removed by the Motor vehicle Dept. because of her eyesight. I just lost the vision in one eye (not repairable) and wonder if I'll lose mine when future eye tests say my driving days are over. We both use canes/walkers and thank the Lord that our kids and grandkids are nearby to help with daily errands and such.

I don't want to put a damper on this thread but even when doing the workouts and exercises, it'll only get you so far and the rest in in the hands of good genes. :)
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You haven’t put a damper on the thread. You’ve confirmed what the original post was all about. There is no magic key to longevity and good health in the future when you’re 80, although the majority of seniors in their 60s and 70s think there is. Statistics show that the majority of these optimistic seniors die by their late seventies.
 
I like kindred spirits. If they are in my age group, great. If not, even better. I like the quirky and innovative. Creative people are the most interesting, but most don't realize just how creative they are. It could be woodworking or cooking or being a diplomat. But never mean spirited. I am 85 and it becomes increasingly difficult to act my age. I deal with arthritis and neuropathy but my mind is still searching for he interesting and unusual. Right now I am painting clouds.

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