My condolences to you and your family. Allow yourself time and space to grieve---your way.
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It is, however, a fact of life as we get older, the 'losses' of loved ones in our age group start increasing.
Two of my 3 older sisters have died since in the last decade, i had more frequent contact with one than the other (Eldest was not one for letters nor cyber communications, but we could have showed up on her doorstep at any time and she would have taken us in for however long we wished or needed to stay), but i miss knowing they were both out there. i email regularly with the remaining Sister and talk to my brother (16 yrs younger than me) a couple of times a year. If he passed before me it would be as bad as one of kids going ahead.