My husband is a narcissistic person.

I have a Narcissist (my opinion) in my life. I can have a conversation with him about everyday things like the weather but if the conversation changes to anything he feels threatened by he blows his lid and becomes viscous. He is a family member and I love him dearly but I have found it impossible to get him to take a long deep look at himself. I am in the process of distancing myself from him. He drains me of my peace of mind. Good luck to you.
 
I'm so sorry. It is their hallmark to make comments that get at your very being and soul. It's their attempt to control you. No, they do not change. I was raised by a personality disorder. You do not deserve this and I'm glad you are separated. And yes, they can hide themselves and trick you.

I don't know if you are into much YouTube psycho-babble, but I really like this man's channel. He has not one use for narcissists.
https://www.youtube.com/@SurvivingNarcissism/videos
 
I haven't read through your replies yet, so maybe others have already said this... but what you're describing sounds (to me) like there may be something more than (or in addition to) narcissism going on there... there are other disorders that would cause his kind of behavior toward you. Please be extra careful when (if) you absolutely need to spend time with him... especially now that divorce has been brought up. @fancicoffee13
 
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CallMeKate said:
I haven't read through your replies yet, so maybe others have already said this... but what you're describing sounds (to me) like there may be something more than (or in addition to) narcissism going on there... there are other disorders that would cause his kind of behavior toward you. Please be extra careful when (if) you absolutely need to spend time with him... especially now that divorce has been brought up. @fancicoffee13
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You are so right. However, divorce has been bought up by him. I don't give any hint of follow-through, I only try to remain helpful and sometimes get mad right back when he punches the wrong sensitive buttons. But, thank you for the suggestions.
 
oldpop said:
I have a Narcissist (my opinion) in my life.
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Guess I have been lucky to be able to mostly keep them out of mine. However, I met one once I will never forget.

A friend of mine died at about age 50. I met his father for the first time at the funeral. The father dominated all conversation and was the only speaker. All he did was talk about himself, almost never mentioned his son, not even to say he'd miss him. It was shocking.

When living my friend spoke often of his mother, uncles and other family members, but never his father. Now I know why...

I later learned this is what the father was like all the time, I made sure never to see him again.
 
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Alligatorob said:
Guess I have been lucky to be able to mostly keep them out of mine. However, I met one once I will never forget.

A friend of mine died at about age 50. I met his father for the first time at the funeral. The father dominated all conversation and was the only speaker. All he did was talk about himself, almost never mentioned his son, not even to say he's miss him. It was shocking.

When living my friend spoke often of his mother, uncles and other family members, but never his father. Now I know why...

I later learned this is what the father was like all the time, I made sure never to see him again.
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Sounds a lot like my Aussie ex who I recently saw on a funeral livestream. His "eulogy" for his mother, was akin to doing stand-up comedy at Yuk-Yuk's. I was not surprised.
 
RadishRose said:
Any more mail,
"Return To Sender"
or
"Not At This Address"

Don't even speak to him. Get your locks changed or move. I'm not kidding.
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RadishRose is correct. They need supply. And supply is the raise they can get out of you or any attention. They can't stand to be ignored or see they can't get at you. That's a hard one and can take time so go easy on yourself.
 
Remy said:
RadishRose is correct. They need supply. And supply is the raise they can get out of you or any attention. They can't stand to be ignored or see they can't get at you. That's a hard one and can take time so go easy on yourself.
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Very true. Narcissists feed off adulation and anger and have to be center stage. The worst possible fate for them is to be marginalized or ignored.

The really sad thing - the few true narcissists I've known also had some wonderful qualities, which made their narcissism and extreme volatility all the more maddening.

Ultimately, I removed myself from their lives. Everybody deserves peace, and when in a close relationship with a narcissist there can be no long-term peace.

Edited to add to the last sentence: because narcissists themselves never have any peace in their own hearts and minds.
 
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Alligatorob said:
Guess I have been lucky to be able to mostly keep them out of mine. However, I met one once I will never forget.

A friend of mine died at about age 50. I met his father for the first time at the funeral. The father dominated all conversation and was the only speaker. All he did was talk about himself, almost never mentioned his son, not even to say he'd miss him. It was shocking.

When living my friend spoke often of his mother, uncles and other family members, but never his father. Now I know why...

I later learned this is what the father was like all the time, I made sure never to see him again.
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Yep, so much like a narcissist. They say they will never, and I mean never, change. The cycle never stops.
 
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