My Nephew Was Shot And Killed

Dear @DailyArtsyCrafter The grief your sister must be feeling now is unfathomable! Her only child!! I have one child, also a son, and I know I'd be devastated. For the last two mornings, I've said prayers for you, your sister and your family. I pray that God will comfort you all and ease your grief. I will continue to pray for those things. That you have already forgiven the shooter speaks volumes for the kind of person you are! May your dear nephew rest peacefully in paradise.

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UPDATE: My nephew was buried, with the full wake, funeral and interment. My sister only wanted a cremation and a small, simple service. She didn't feel like she could stand all of that but his father's family balked and insisted on the traditional services. She tried several times to tell his father that she didn't have that kind of money to contribute. My nephew did not have any insurance.

His father's relatives, who were pushing for the full traditional services, were not forthcoming with very much of the needed funds. At one time, his father agreed with my sister for a cremation but he was not able to stand up to his family. They went ahead with the extensive plans and my sister was very upset and frustrated. She said she felt like she was losing control of what would happen to her son.

Donations eventually came in at the funeral home website for over $9,000, which covered the around $10,000 fee. My sister made it safely through the nightmare of the services and went back to work 2 days after the burial. She was able to work the entire day and she is doing well.

The trial was changed from yesterday, 10/29, to 11/18. I don't know if the suspect will be charged with first or second degree murder. The detective's report said basically that the group (males and females) was at a restaurant celebrating a birthday and a dispute happened inside. Some of them went out, I guess, and the suspect, who at 42 is 12 yrs older than my nephew, went out to his car.

My nephew was still inside sitting at the table watching through the window into the parking lot. It looked like the guy was getting a gun out of his car and my nephew went out to protect his friends whom he thought were in danger. Probably an altercation happened and he was shot. It's possible that they all may have been in various stages of intoxication. So, it seems that he died trying to defend or help others.

We are grateful to the person(s) who took him to the hospital because he could have been left in the street or in a gutter like what happens to the precious loved ones of so many others. I am glad that I can share this info because as many of you know, it's still a nightmare. Nothing will be the same but I know that over time it will become easier to bear. I will share the results of the trial when it is over.
 
I'm so sorry to read all this. What a tragedy for something like this to happen to a young man who was only concerned for his friends. He sounds like such a fine person. I hope the trial goes well on Tuesday and provides some peace to you and your sister.

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DailyArtsyCrafter said:
UPDATE: My nephew was buried, with the full wake, funeral and interment. My sister only wanted a cremation and a small, simple service. She didn't feel like she could stand all of that but his father's family balked and insisted on the traditional services. She tried several times to tell his father that she didn't have that kind of money to contribute. My nephew did not have any insurance.

His father's relatives, who were pushing for the full traditional services, were not forthcoming with very much of the needed funds. At one time, his father agreed with my sister for a cremation but he was not able to stand up to his family. They went ahead with the extensive plans and my sister was very upset and frustrated. She said she felt like she was losing control of what would happen to her son.

Donations eventually came in at the funeral home website for over $9,000, which covered the around $10,000 fee. My sister made it safely through the nightmare of the services and went back to work 2 days after the burial. She was able to work the entire day and she is doing well.

The trial was changed from yesterday, 10/29, to 11/18. I don't know if the suspect will be charged with first or second degree murder. The detective's report said basically that the group (males and females) was at a restaurant celebrating a birthday and a dispute happened inside. Some of them went out, I guess, and the suspect, who at 42 is 12 yrs older than my nephew, went out to his car.

My nephew was still inside sitting at the table watching through the window into the parking lot. It looked like the guy was getting a gun out of his car and my nephew went out to protect his friends whom he thought were in danger. Probably an altercation happened and he was shot. It's possible that they all may have been in various stages of intoxication. So, it seems that he died trying to defend or help others.

We are grateful to the person(s) who took him to the hospital because he could have been left in the street or in a gutter like what happens to the precious loved ones of so many others. I am glad that I can share this info because as many of you know, it's still a nightmare. Nothing will be the same but I know that over time it will become easier to bear. I will share the results of the trial when it is over.
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I'm so sorry that your sister had to go through that! I went through something similar with some of my step-children and their mother, my husband's ex wife. Money was not an issue though; his funeral expenses were fully covered and I didn't have to pay a penny. But I felt overshadowed and disrespected during the decision making process. It was the most stressful time of my life and I literally had such a bad headache that I couldn't attend the second service held for him in the evening after his burial.

Feeling powerless while others try to assert their will is certainly not something your sister should have had to endure on top of her grief. Then to impose their will but not put their money where their mouths were is egregious! I'm glad to read that the shooter is in custody, that the funeral costs were covered and that your sister is alright after all she's been through. Your nephew died a hero. Again...may he rest peacefully in Paradise.
 
OneEyedDiva said:
I'm so sorry that your sister had to go through that! I went through something similar with some of my step-children and their mother, my husband's ex wife. Money was not an issue though; his funeral expenses were fully covered and I didn't have to pay a penny. But I felt overshadowed and disrespected during the decision making process. It was the most stressful time of my life and I literally had such a bad headache that I couldn't attend the second service held for him in the evening after his burial.

Feeling powerless while others try to assert their will is certainly not something your sister should have had to endure on top of her grief. Then to impose their will but not put their money where their mouths were is egregious! I'm glad to read that the shooter is in custody, that the funeral costs were covered and that your sister is alright after all she's been through. Your nephew died a hero. Again...may he rest peacefully in Paradise.
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Thank you for sharing your experience. It is very similar. Everyone has been so precious in posting comforting words, condolences and sympathies. My heart is very full and appreciative.

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Trial Update: The Tues 11/18 trial session turned out to be what they call an arraignment. It was at 9:00 and very short. My sister was there and my nephew's father. It was held in a very small room and they called a few other cases first. My sister said she was sitting not very far from the offender when they brought him in. The case was briefly explained so she was able to go to work afterwards. She heard something about 25 yrs and the actual trial was scheduled for Thurs 12/11. I was tied up getting settled and couldn't go but I expect to be at the trial. If they allow victim impact statements, I will give a short one.
 
We won't be going to the 12/11 trial session because it won't be a critical one. Several more motions are expected to push dates forward and my sister doesn't want to take off work just to learn that. I went with her to meet with her victim advocate, the detective and the prosecutor. They shared what has been done and what is expected to happen.

The arresting of the suspect was very quick compared to what other families have to go through. He is charged with 2nd degree murder and will remain in jail the entire time of the trial sessions. The prosecutor said he expects it to take around 12-18 months to get a conviction and that can be short compared to other trials. They will let her know when a trial session is an important one so we can plan to go then.
 
Final Update: The prosecutor dropped the case. It was discovered that someone else fired a shot before the shooter shot my nephew. That person was one of my nephew's friends. So, the prosecution doesn't know if my nephew's shooter shot because he was afraid when he heard that shot or thought he was protecting himself, etc. Maybe he wasn't trying to shoot my nephew. I think they've investigated all that they can and we can't learn why it happened.

Plus, my nephew's friend got a lawyer and his lawyer made a deal with the prosecution. The deal was that if the lawyer told the prosecution what happened, they couldn't go after his client, my nephew's friend. So, we can't even get the story in a trial that would include him. Prosecution had no choice but to release the shooter, as well.

We don't know what would have happened had my nephew's friend not fired that shot. Maybe my nephew would be alive today, maybe not. We're at peace as much as we can be. We certainly don't want someone convicted of something he did not purpose to do, but because he reacted to what someone else did.

At least we know what happened to our loved one and my sister was able to bury her son. She does not have to spend the rest of her life agonizing about where is her son, what happened to him, is he dead or alive? In that, we are blessed.
 
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DailyArtsyCrafter said:
Final Update: The prosecutor dropped the case. It was discovered that someone else fired a shot before the shooter shot my nephew. That person was one of my nephew's friends. So, the prosecution doesn't know if my nephew's shooter shot because he was afraid when he heard that shot or thought he was protecting himself, etc. Maybe he wasn't trying to shoot my nephew. I think they've investigated all that they can and we can't learn why it happened.

Plus, my nephew's friend got a lawyer and his lawyer made a deal with the prosecution. The deal was that if the lawyer told the prosecution what happened, they couldn't go after his client, my nephew's friend. So, we can't even get the story in a trial that would include him. Prosecution had no choice but to release the shooter, as well.

We don't know what would have happened had my nephew's friend not fired that shot. Maybe my nephew would be alive today, maybe not. We're at peace as much as we can be. We certainly don't want someone convicted of something he did not purpose to do, but because he reacted to what someone else did.

At least we know what happened to our loved one and my sister was able to bury her son. She does not have to spend the rest of her life agonizing about where is her son, what happened to him, is he dead or alive? In that, we are blessed.
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So sorry for you and your family about all this, Daily. Hugs.
 
DailyArtsyCrafter said:
Final Update: The prosecutor dropped the case. It was discovered that someone else fired a shot before the shooter shot my nephew. That person was one of my nephew's friends. So, the prosecution doesn't know if my nephew's shooter shot because he was afraid when he heard that shot or thought he was protecting himself, etc. Maybe he wasn't trying to shoot my nephew. I think they've investigated all that they can and we can't learn why it happened.

Plus, my nephew's friend got a lawyer and his lawyer made a deal with the prosecution. The deal was that if the lawyer told the prosecution what happened, they couldn't go after his client, my nephew's friend. So, we can't even get the story in a trial that would include him. Prosecution had no choice but to release the shooter, as well.

We don't know what would have happened had my nephew's friend not fired that shot. Maybe my nephew would be alive today, maybe not. We're at peace as much as we can be. We certainly don't want someone convicted of something he did not purpose to do, but because he reacted to what someone else did.

At least we know what happened to our loved one and my sister was able to bury her son. She does not have to spend the rest of her life agonizing about where is her son, what happened to him, is he dead or alive? In that, we are blessed.
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It's good that you and your family recognize a blessing that came out of this and you all are at peace. Once again, my deepest condolences to your entire family.
 
DailyArtsyCrafter said:
Final Update: The prosecutor dropped the case. It was discovered that someone else fired a shot before the shooter shot my nephew. That person was one of my nephew's friends. So, the prosecution doesn't know if my nephew's shooter shot because he was afraid when he heard that shot or thought he was protecting himself, etc. Maybe he wasn't trying to shoot my nephew. I think they've investigated all that they can and we can't learn why it happened.

Plus, my nephew's friend got a lawyer and his lawyer made a deal with the prosecution. The deal was that if the lawyer told the prosecution what happened, they couldn't go after his client, my nephew's friend. So, we can't even get the story in a trial that would include him. Prosecution had no choice but to release the shooter, as well.

We don't know what would have happened had my nephew's friend not fired that shot. Maybe my nephew would be alive today, maybe not. We're at peace as much as we can be. We certainly don't want someone convicted of something he did not purpose to do, but because he reacted to what someone else did.

At least we know what happened to our loved one and my sister was able to bury her son. She does not have to spend the rest of her life agonizing about where is her son, what happened to him, is he dead or alive? In that, we are blessed.
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That's hard to move on from, I'm sure, Daisy. I'm very sorry.
 
Let me get this right. We have a dead corpse and no one was charged with anything, right? I have a few questions.

1. Did the Police Investigators send the guns involved to the lab for a ballistics test where the lab people fire each gun into a water tank and recover the bullet and compare it to the bullets removed from the victim. That will tell the Investigators what gun was used to fire the fatal shots.
2. Was a Grand Jury ever convened? Probably not, if there is no evidence as to who fired the fatal shots.

Can you tell me where this happened, the PD that investigated this case and the last name of the victim that was shot and killed?
You may PM, if you like.
 
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911 said:
Let me get this right. We have a dead corpse and no one was charged with anything, right? I have a few questions.

1. Did the Police Investigators send the guns involved to the lab for a ballistics test where the lab people fire each gun into a water tank and recover the bullet and compare it to the bullets removed from the victim. That will tell the Investigators what gun was used to fire the fatal shots.
2. Was a Grand Jury ever convened? Probably not, if there is no evidence as to who fired the fatal shots.

Can you tell me where this happened, the PD that investigated this case and the last name of the victim that was shot and killed?
You may PM, if you like.
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It would be nice if you could get the wheels of justice to turn, sadly many have low expectations of the system.
 
911 said:
Let me get this right. We have a dead corpse and no one was charged with anything, right? I have a few questions.

1. Did the Police Investigators send the guns involved to the lab for a ballistics test where the lab people fire each gun into a water tank and recover the bullet and compare it to the bullets removed from the victim. That will tell the Investigators what gun was used to fire the fatal shots.
2. Was a Grand Jury ever convened? Probably not, if there is no evidence as to who fired the fatal shots.

Can you tell me where this happened, the PD that investigated this case and the last name of the victim that was shot and killed?
You may PM, if you like.
Click to expand...

Thank you for your concern. I understand that you would like to help, but we want to and need to move on about this. Frustration, anger and demanding that someone be held accountable could afflict us for the rest of our lives, if we allowed it to. We appreciate the investigating that was done and we choose to move on in our Christian faith. 🙏🏽
 
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