My Sister is Beside Herself

Two adults deciding to get married, and the problem is it's not going over well with the family of the adult son. If they do get married only time will tell if the age difference matters & it ends up in divorce. Otherwise it's between the couple IMO as it should be.
 
VintageBetter said:
Exactly. We all know what that is about.
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But somehow society accepts that more. Itā€™s a lot more acceptable when the ā€˜olderā€™ man goes after the younger woman. Itā€™s like itā€™s natural for an older man to be attracted to a younger woman but completely unnatural for a younger man to go after an older women.
Maybe this guy just fell in love. Why are we demonizing the women?
 
I knew a couple with an even greater age disparity. She was in her 40s and he in his early 20s. People generally presumed he was her son.

Because of the age difference she refused to marry him for many years, but finally agreed about 15 years into the relationship. I lost track of them, but last I heard they were still going strong.

The heart wants what the heart wants.
 
There's a couple of red flags, though.

My nephew has alienated his old friend set and this woman is answering his texts for him. He's also AWOL from the immediate family and has missed two family vacations so far.

This might be backlash as my sister dismissed their relationship right out of the gate as inappropriate.
 
PeppermintPatty said:
But somehow society accepts that more. Itā€™s a lot more acceptable when the ā€˜olderā€™ man goes after the younger woman. Itā€™s like itā€™s natural for an older man to be attracted to a younger woman but completely unnatural for a younger man to go after an older women.
Maybe this guy just fell in love. Why are we demonizing the women?
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Henry the VIII, among others. Tis a grand old tradition for older men to seek younger wives so they can have more heirs. Not just in British culture but in cultures worldwide. The King and I; based on a true story. I don't know how many wives and concubines the king had, but it was a lot.
 
Beezer said:
There's a couple of red flags, though.

My nephew has alienated his old friend set and this woman is answering his texts for him. He's also AWOL from the immediate family and has missed two family vacations so far.

This might be backlash as my sister dismissed their relationship right out of the gate as inappropriate.
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That's not good. Maybe his friends don't understand this choice either? It's really tough with adult kids. You can advise and advise, teach them what you know, but in the end, they make their choices.
I'm not of the belief that parents and close relatives should sit back and shut up. No. Genuine and close relationships include criticism sometimes. Not constantly, but when you are worried, you have to say so.
If you saw a big growth on his arm that looks like cancer, you'd say something right? Relationships are the same way. If you see red flags, he needs to be told.
 
VintageBetter said:
Henry the VIII, among others. Tis a grand old tradition for older men to seek younger wives so they can have more heirs. Not just in British culture but in cultures worldwide. The King and I; based on a true story. I don't know how many wives and concubines the king had, but it was a lot.
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I completely understand the logic behind it.
Itā€™s natural for the male species to spread their seeds far and wide without even being from royalty. Men still have a natural instinct to spread their seeds and women still have a natural instinct to protect the family unit. Itā€™s also in our instinct to just want one man. These natural instincts clash at times.
 
I said what I said in response to Beezer's nephew.

Now homewreckers are a different story. If she was married at the time then I would consider that immoral. I don't think she was @Beezer ?
Every situation is different. I shouldn't judge.
 
Remy said:
OMG Holly, if you had mentioned this before, I missed it. That's devastating. You did the right thing. šŸ¤—

Both jerks! :mad:
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I haven't spoken about the reasons for my separation on here before now Remy... not on the open forum. I have had some really stellar friends behind the scenes that have kept me sane throughout the whole process.. it was the most hurtful thing ever in my life... and without them I swear I would have had a breakdwon

I won't go into details but suffice to say he's the head of studios.. and she's a freelancer who wishes to be a permanent member of staff.. so she went after him knowing full well he was married..

takes 2 to tango, and he was sneaking behind my back and having this full fledged affair.. .. and I discovered it... absolutely devastated..

I can speak about it more openly now since the Divorce proceedings have begun...
 
We had a beautiful relationship. He was 36 and I was 22 when we married. They said it wouldn't last but we proved them wrong. People shouldn't try and interfere, as my sister did, and caused great angst in the family. If we had made the wrong choices, then it's our problem. Needless to say, our marriage was great and had 2 lovely sons.
 
oscash said:
We had a beautiful relationship. He was 36 and I was 22 when we married. They said it wouldn't last but we proved them wrong. People shouldn't try and interfere, as my sister did, and caused great angst in the family. If we had made the wrong choices, then it's our problem. Needless to say, our marriage was great and had 2 lovely sons.
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I don't think there's a great age difference between 22 and 36... both young adults..
I think back in the day when our grandparents were young, and old age came at 40.. I think it would been seen as something shocking then.. but a 14 year age difference is not a big deal...now... I'm glad you had such a happy marriage
 
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hollydolly said:
I haven't spoken about the reasons for my separation on here before now Remy... not on the open forum. I have had some really stellar friends behind the scenes that have kept me sane throughout the whole process.. it was the most hurtful thing ever in my life... and without them I swear I would have had a breakdwon

I won't go into details but suffice to say he's the head of studios.. and she's a freelancer who wishes to be a permanent member of staff.. so she went after him knowing full well he was married..

takes 2 to tango, and he was sneaking behind my back and having this full fledged affair.. .. and I discovered it... absolutely devastated..

I can speak about it more openly now since the Divorce proceedings have begun...
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I hate women who take men because they can and I hate men who can be taken. They make a good couple and you, my dear, are much better off, even though, I'm sure, it's extremely painful.
Its good to talk about it. You have friends here. šŸŒ¹
 
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