Narcissistic people masquerading as friends

Could your husband tell her off for you Rose? Can he tell her to stop calling, that her constant calling is upsetting to you and that you want to end your relationship?

Isn't that what husbands are for? We used to call in sick for the other.
 

Yes. Rose, it's not a matter of changing your phone number. It's a matter of blocking calls you don't want.

Either that, or have your husband say something. Or ... I dunno, duck her calls for the rest of your life?
 

Even if it costs something to block a number, it’s worth every cent. She’s obviously not getting the hint.
 
Update - got rid of her a while ago by ignoring her birthday. It is cruel not to send a card but had to be done. It's been many weeks of peace now.
There can be no Christmas card either of course. No going back.
 
I have known similar people. When I put on that Trooper uniform, it’s like a magnet that draws people with lie self-esteem and want to be known or recognized. I always made it a point not to associate with the same people often. I didn’t want them or others to think or believe that we were good friends.

I enjoy being around people that I choose to be around. Now kids are a different story. I would never walk away from a kid. Kids, up to a certain age, want to be a cop’s friend, especially young girls. What is it with young girls wanting to hang around cops? I tell the rookies all the time to be aware of the young girls. I think they feel safer around cops.
 
911 said:
I have known similar people. When I put on that Trooper uniform, it’s like a magnet that draws people with lie self-esteem and want to be known or recognized. I always made it a point not to associate with the same people often. I didn’t want them or others to think or believe that we were good friends.

I enjoy being around people that I choose to be around. Now kids are a different story. I would never walk away from a kid. Kids, up to a certain age, want to be a cop’s friend, especially young girls. What is it with young girls wanting to hang around cops? I tell the rookies all the time to be aware of the young girls. I think they feel safer around cops.
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So you are a retired cop,?
 
The term narcissist can get thrown around a lot. But the fact is, the cluster B personality disorders ruin lives. Believe me I know. I'm getting some borderline traits from this individual Rose describes. Their 'fear of abandonment' goes much deeper than some crazy ex.

My mother was never officially diagnosed. She wouldn't seek counseling, there was nothing wrong with her. A therapist told me, my mother was a borderline. Based on abuse I told her about. All which was 100% true.
 
Remy said:
The term narcissist can get thrown around a lot. But the fact is, the cluster B personality disorders ruin lives. Believe me I know. I'm getting some borderline traits from this individual Rose describes. Their 'fear of abandonment' goes much deeper than some crazy ex.

My mother was never officially diagnosed. She wouldn't seek counseling, there was nothing wrong with her. A therapist told me, my mother was a borderline. Based on abuse I told her about. All which was 100% true.
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I think that cluster B person. disorder is what runs through my family, on my dad's side. In some ways, the disorder reminds me of eternal teenagers, that age where they are so moody, melodramatic and no impulse control. ("My life is over! You've ruined my life! I hate everybody, especially you! Everybody's against me!")
 
911 said:
I have known similar people. When I put on that Trooper uniform, it’s like a magnet that draws people with lie self-esteem and want to be known or recognized. I always made it a point not to associate with the same people often. I didn’t want them or others to think or believe that we were good friends.

I enjoy being around people that I choose to be around. Now kids are a different story. I would never walk away from a kid. Kids, up to a certain age, want to be a cop’s friend, especially young girls. What is it with young girls wanting to hang around cops? I tell the rookies all the time to be aware of the young girls. I think they feel safer around cops.
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It's the uniform 911 - When I was a young girl I always thought I'd marry a man in uniform., but that didn't happen. My grandmother was engaged to three different men in Army uniform - she did marry one of them .
 
I think the title of your thread says it all, "Narcissistic people". You were of use to her, before. So, when she needs something, ever again, you come in handy. You could yell at her, scream and threaten, but I doubt it would sink in.
Ignore her, like you do the satellite "Dish" offers you get in the mail each month.
 
Rose65 said:
I know eventually I will lose my temper really badly and will swear at her as a last resort. With some hardened insensitive types it really is the only way. But if I do that I will feel absolutely terrible,that negativity is so destructive to everyone. I've had to do that with a family member a while back and it sent me into a terribly deep depression.
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Years ago I read a "Prayer of Separation" in a book on spirituality where you remove a toxic person from your life and you commend them to God, and pray for their future well being, and separate from them. If you are not well you have no obligation to care for those who are well.
 
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Rose65 said:
Update - got rid of her a while ago by ignoring her birthday. It is cruel not to send a card but had to be done. It's been many weeks of peace now.
There can be no Christmas card either of course. No going back.
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Sounds like you've solved the problem. You shouldn't feel guilty. And there can't be any more contact on your part. If you ever encounter her accidently anywhere, you can say truthfully you've been ill and had to curtail your contacts.
 
TabbyAnn said:
Sounds like you've solved the problem. You shouldn't feel guilty. And there can't be any more contact on your part. If you ever encounter her accidently anywhere, you can say truthfully you've been ill and had to curtail your contacts.
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Well, the worst thing you can do to a truly self centred person is ignore their birthday! Such a simple solution.
 
TabbyAnn said:
Years ago I read a "Prayer of Separation" in a book on spirituality where you remove a toxic person from your life and you commend them to God, and pray for their future well being, and separate from them. If you are not well you have no obligation to care for those who are well.
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Yes there comes a time to put yourself first, as long as you do not harm others. Just withdraw and focus all energy on yourself.
I don't think that is wrong because I don't seek attention from anyone.
 
fuzzybuddy said:
I think the title of your thread says it all, "Narcissistic people". You were of use to her, before. So, when she needs something, ever again, you come in handy. You could yell at her, scream and threaten, but I doubt it would sink in.
Ignore her, like you do the satellite "Dish" offers you get in the mail each month.
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Thankyou, good advice.
However, I am an incredibly quiet type, I never shout, not even raise my voice. It shouldn't be necessary when there are far more effective ways.
 
I don't think narcisstic people masquerade as anything, their self absorbed personality shows loud and clear. I think our own expectations are what causes issues, we keep expecting them to act differently. If you pay attention to actions it doesn't take long to recognize narcisstic tendencies, once recognized you need to lower your expectations of ever having a 50/50 relationship with them, or erase them from your life so you won't always be feeling disappointed and frustrated.
 
hollydolly said:
Remind me again why you're not blocking her calls ?:unsure:
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My question too...
That is the first step.
I have had similar problem and finally blocked her number.
The phone rings once to let you know but the caller is told number not available.
I also blocked email.
Letters ..I ignored.
After a month or so all contact stopped.
It has been over a year so I assume she finally got the message.
 

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