Newly single

D

Deb

New Member
Hello everyone and thanks in advance for your advice (or for at least reading this ;) I'm 66 years old and my SO of 5 years recently broke up with me. He has some issues, mild Asperger's being one of them. I can't get an honest, clear picture of why he ended it. I thought I was being very supportive without being too "needy". Anyway, the thing is: I just cannot, for the life of me, visualize a happy life from here on out. I see loneliness (I did a lot of dating before I met him and I'm not interested in doing that again) and joylessness. I'm quite shy and an introvert, so suggesting joining social circles for activities only makes me anxious and I end up dreading the event, often canceling at the last minute. I enjoy rreading, but feel guilty if I do too much of it. Any suggestions of a way to occupy my mind so I don't just sink into the quagmire of despair?
 

Since you like books, maybe you can volunteer at your local library? It would not be a strictly social atmosphere, but it would give you a chance to get out of the house and meet people who have similar interests. Meet some other women your age and in your similar position and make friends.

My mother is 91-years-old. After her long-time "gentleman friend" died several years ago, she decided that she would just concentrate on her female friends. She has a very active social life with her friends....they are perpetually going to parties, luncheons, movies, events. She's always said she needs another man in her life like a fish needs a bicycle.
 
Sounds like you might still be in shock, Deb. be gentle with yourself, read as much as you need too, for goodness sake. You may never know why your SO ended things, at least not in a way that makes sense to you. Aspies live in a different emotional universe than the rest of us, and that can be difficult for all concerned. The only immediate suggestion I have is to reach out where you feel safe, this is a good place to vent anonymously. Just having someone to talk to can help you avoid spinning around in your own head and sliding into isolation and despair. Hugs.
 

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