When my first wife and I married we had this 7-year plan that seemed rock solid; she'd work while I went to college, then I'd use my degree to get a job that would put her through college plus save up a down payment a house. Then we'd both have great jobs to buy a house and start a family. But the family came 6 years too soon. And every time one kid was old enough for daycare, we'd be pregnant again.
So, I suppose when she ran off with the neighbor guy and left me with our 2 toddler sons and infant daughter, my confidence in solid plans was shattered. And I guess that's why I had this horrible nightmare time and again for about a year...
It's twilight. I'm in bed and I hear the baby cry. I check the nursery; the crib is empty. The crying is coming from outside, so I look out the nursery window. There's a playpen out there in a bleak, grey field, and my baby daughter is in it, crying desperately. I grab a coat and run outside into a blustering wind, and the closer I get to the baby, the harder and colder it blows. Her blanket is flapping around wildly, over the top of her, in my face and against my arms, but I manage to get a-hold of her and lift her out of the playpen, and I hold her tight to my chest as I run inside, struggling to keep this flailing blanket around her, 'cause she's really cold.
But when I lay the baby blanket down on a table and start unwrapping it, the baby isn't there! She's outside in that playpen, crying harder. I tighten my coat and go out to get her, fighting that freaking blanket; and the whole thing repeats, and repeats. Finally, about the 3rd or 4th trip to the playpen I actually get my hands on the baby; there's no blanket at all. But it's not my baby. Instead of a chubby, pink, green-eyed little baby girl, I'm standing there in a freezing wind, torn as to whether or not I really want to rescue this floppy, grey-skinned, very unhealthy-looking ...baby boy.
Worst. Nightmare. Ever. Worst I've ever had, anyway. Repeatedly. And I'm not joking when I say I can still hear and feel that icy wind and that baby blanket flapping against my arms, and how suddenly empty it felt soon as I got it inside. woough