No one ever loves you as much as your mother, (propaganda or true?)

[grahamg]

My own children have benefited from the lack of love I had. They were all very much wanted and loved and I made sure they knew that. It's the small things that show love. It wasn't until I spent a week-end with my aunt and saw how caring she was, that I realised how cold and selfish my own mother was.

I think you are right that we do try to adjust our behaviour to make amends for whatever we thought was lacking in our parents treatment of their children, or us as children. At the same time we're maybe less aware of the pressures that made them behave as they did, especially in the failure to show love department, (such a difficult area to get right every time, if that isn't too obvious a thing to say).

 

[Teacher Terry]

Actually Graham I was involved in a case where the parents were unjustly accused and the kids did go home. Social services is definitely not infallible.

 

[grahamg]

I think we can easily agree that where there is disfunction in a family to the degree you are referring to, then so much goes wrong, sometimes very quickly.
However, I'll throw this comment in here, as again I think we'll agree easily enough, (though you may wonder why I mentioning it): "We'd all be against cruelty to old people wouldn't we"!

My reason for throwing the comment in is sometimes false accusations, or a kind of witch hunt mentality can creep in. This can lead to even decent parents and grandparents being unfairly or even cruelly treated, and I'd suggest the frequency this kind of thing occurs in our society today, makes it almost respectable, "especially where the interests of another take precedence all the time, over the interests of a loving parent or grandparent", (one where there has never been any suggestion of abuse for social services to rightly concern themselves over).

How easily we are all able to condemn others, (even without any evidence sometimes), is an issue in my view, leading to the cruelty towards old people I know occurs.

This being the post the one above referred to, (I think! ).

 

[Bellbird]

One of my brothers was having mental problems and was advised to try regression therapy. He was told, 'Your elder sister (me) gave you the love and affection which you didn't get from your mother'.
My mother had four children and didn't love any of them. Idealists think that all mothers love their children, but it just isn't the case.

I can attest to that.

 

[JaniceM]

I can attest to that.

Me too.

 

[grahamg]

Actually Graham I was involved in a case where the parents were unjustly accused and the kids did go home. Social services is definitely not infallible.

Good outcome, to everyone's relief I guess, (though no easy job I'm sure).

 

[Teacher Terry]

Graham, I only lasted 4 years. The work was heartbreaking and my coworker was brutally murdered by 2 men a client hired. I had 3 kids and was scared so went back to grad school for a similar but safer career.

 

[grahamg]

Graham, I only lasted 4 years. The work was heartbreaking and my coworker was brutally murdered by 2 men a client hired. I had 3 kids and was scared so went back to grad school for a similar but safer career.

Terrible story, you certainly have my sympathy for what it is worth.

 

[grahamg]

Back to the thread topic now with some words of wisdom from the Dalai Lama

" When we're born, our mothers show us compassion. This is a natural response without which we wouldn't survive."

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/the-dalai-lamas-unique-ad_b_10673380

 

[Mike]

When I was young, there was a say, that qualifies the title
of this thread as true.

"He, or She, has a face that only a Mother could love".

Mike.

 

[grahamg]

Like this maybe, (though he's a smart guy isn't he!):

 

[Paladin1950]

Not in my family. My mother never showed love in actions. Or word of mouth.

 

[grahamg]

Not in my family. My mother never showed love in actions. Or word of mouth.

I hope your father did his best to make up for this state of affairs.

 

[s76l42]

A good friend of mine, who I used to call my "second mother", used to state quite: "No one will ever love you as much as your mother"!

Now this lady had quite an intellect, and was an excellent mother to her own three boys, and had many very interesting, and insightful things to say, so "who am I to argue"?

Of course I do often argue, but here, though accepting my friends statement is a generalisation, I do think there is something in her words, and she was certainly wise enough to know what she was talking about.

I didn't realise how much my own real mother thought of me, and tried to do all she could for me, (and of course loved me), until after she had passed, and I'm afraid I cant tell you what she thought of the thread title or subject, but I'd guess she would have agreed.

While that statement may not be true across the board, I know it is true for me and my son and for me and my mother who I did not appreciate enough while she was still living. I think of her and miss her every day. I remember waking up the first day after she had passed away and thinking this is the first time I have ever been alone in the world without my mother, my best friend.

 

[Brookswood]

Please stop the goofy stereotypes of men and women. They are both nonsense.

 

[Jackie23]

I haven't read through this long thread but my mother has been gone a few years now and I miss her everyday....I've had some hard knocks in my life and she was always there for me, I have no doubt she loved me. Sometimes she was a little too bossy and always had a life's lesson ready at every turn that bugged me at times, but I think of her often and always ask myself how would she handle different things that come up....so for me your title to the thread is true.

 

[grahamg]

Please stop the goofy stereotypes of men and women. They are both nonsense.

If you dont mind my saying, you're trying to act like "King Canute" if you or anyone else thinks they can hold back the tide of views on this subject, (so there you are, "I'll have to decline your heartfelt plea, sorry and all that"! ).

 

[grahamg]

I haven't read through this long thread but my mother has been gone a few years now and I miss her everyday....I've had some hard knocks in my life and she was always there for me, I have no doubt she loved me. Sometimes she was a little too bossy and always had a life's lesson ready at every turn that bugged me at times, but I think of her often and always ask myself how would she handle different things that come up....so for me your title to the thread is true.

Its nice to think your mum was so good to you, even when being a bit bossy, (bossy can be good can't it, where would the world be without a few bossy people after all? ).