No-Show Wedding Guest is Sent Bill for Dinner...What Would You Do?

SeaBreeze

SeaBreeze

Endlessly Groovin'
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I heard on the news that a wedding guest who didn't show up, was sent a bill for the dinner that they would have eaten. I'd never to that to anyone, a bit tacky, IMO. What do you think? Would you ever send a guest the bill....and if you received a bill, would you pay?
 

I have heard of this. It's a good way of losing a friend, unless they had offered to pay for their being AWOL, which I have also heard of before.
 
Well, I guess if the wedding is meant to be a gift-grab or the cover-your-plate rule is in order, I wouldn't be surprised if someone did this. Nothing surprises me anymore. I attended the wedding of a relative's child a couple of years ago and the invitation specified that the bride and groom didn't want "presents", just cash or gift cards. It further stipulated that checks would be ok. I seriously consider either not going or giving them a gift certificate to Dollar Tree, but in the long run I decided that the family fall-out wasn't worth it. I gave them a check. My thank-you note was "thank you" written on the back of the check. As I said, I wasn't surprised.
 
It's unthinkably rude and tacky on the part of the hosts (makes them look desperate and greedy) but also bad manners for the guest to no-show after an RSVP. Maybe they are not such good friends and seems a bit of hostile too.
 
Here’s the whole story:

http://www.kare11.com/story/life/20...ill-after-not-showing-up-to-wedding/73066502/

No, I would not have sent the couple a bill, BUT they should have called the host upon realizing they couldn’t come. (No backup babysitter?) I have a real problem with no show/no calls. :mad:

If I was close enough to a couple to attend their wedding after RSVPing "Yes", I wouldn't just not shpw up and not call or do anything. They're flakes, imo.

In sending a bill, I think the couple was sending a “message”. It's not about $75.90.

The bride and groom were obviously horribly rude here. That's a no brainer. BUT...

The no shows were also horribly rude. They didn't show up. They didn't call. They didn't text. They didn't even send a card after the fact apologizing for their bad behaviour. If I read the "invoice" correctly, the invoice wouldn't have ever been sent if the no shows had done any one of those things.

You don't just no show at someone's wedding and then ghost away. That's terrible.
 
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Cookie said:
It's unthinkably rude and tacky on the part of the hosts (makes them look desperate and greedy) but also bad manners for the guest to no-show after an RSVP. Maybe they are not such good friends and seems a bit of hostile too.
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Is there a possibility that the couple was living together already and had the usual 'stuff' so gifts would have only meant they had to return everything? Maybe too, they were trying to save up for a down payment on a home and cash is helpful to that?

And in reading the original story, didn't the people say that their mom phoned at the last minute to say she couldn't show up? So is it their fault or grandma's fault? And if she called at the very last minute, who would the couple phone? The bride is busy, the dinner is being prepped already......

If I was them, I'd probably pay the bill, I'd be upset and we'd probably choose our 'friends' more carefully the next time.
 
Is there a possibility that the couple was living together already and had the usual 'stuff' so gifts would have only meant they had to return everything? Maybe too, they were trying to save up for a down payment on a home and cash is helpful to that?
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:confused:

We don't know if the couple was living together, and we don't know what - if anything - they were saving for; I suppose anything is possible but I think that's really reaching, and I don't see the relevance.

As far as who the couple would contact, they could have contacted a family member the day after. There are many ways for them to communicate after the wedding - phone call, text, email, snail mail letter. They did nothing.
 
That's pretty funny. I can sure understand the frustration of those paying for the dinner. The meals are expensive and many rude people say they
will attend and then don't show up, never giving any warning ahead of time.
 
I think that's the problem with these fancy little weddings is that they only last 1 day. European weddings usually last two to three days. Not done by individual plate portions either but more in bulk quantity. There is more than enough food for everyone, and guests come back the next day for more food and drink and party. Now that is a real wedding!
 
A couple things spring to mind ...

How often have you been invited to weddings where you were only peripherally known to the bride/groom? Perhaps friends of one or the other set of parents? Perhaps co-worker of bride/groom/either set of parents?
I have. And I have gone and I have done all the "right" things as an invited guest.
Definitely doesn't mean that the bride/groom were "friends" with the guests who didn't show up.

And as for the last-minute change in plans...
The wedding invitation specified "no children". So once the baby-sitter called last minute to cancel, they weren't able to attend with their children.

And ... wedding planners [ and there must've been wedding planners involved in this one! ] always allow for a 10% difference in banquet guests ... could be either 10% fewer or a surprise extra 10%. The caterers didn't make the charge.
Seems like the newly married couple decided to recoup some expenses.
 
The wedding invitation specified "no children". So once the baby-sitter called last minute to cancel, they weren't able to attend with their children.
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But one of them could have attended. “(Partner) couldn't make it because babysitter canceled at the last minute.”

Three weeks after the wedding and missing couple STILL hasn't bothered to speak with the couple and apologize/explain. So they get the invoice and instead of calling whoever sent it they call a TV station.

Hmmm. I’m guessing this wasn’t a lovey-dovey relationship to begin with.
 
applecruncher said:
But one of them could have attended. “(Partner) couldn't make it because babysitter canceled at the last minute.”

Three weeks after the wedding and missing couple STILL hasn't bothered to speak with the couple and apologize/explain. So they get the invoice and instead of calling whoever sent it they call a TV station.

Hmmm. I’m guessing this wasn’t a lovey-dovey relationship to begin with.
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As I mentioned before, they weren't necessarily more than passing acquaintances in the first place ...

Think back ... how many times were you invited to a wedding/shower/reception for someone you really only even knew of by way of a friend/co-worker's relationship with the person ... or even the person's extended family?

Did I go because it was "lovey-dovey"? H*ll, no! I went. These days I would not. I've matured considerably!

Check with the etiquette books, AC ... it was grossly tactless to send a bill, no matter what the circumstances of the "no show".

And also, as I said before, caterers automatically assume either a 10% "no show" or a 10% too many showed.
 
Rocky said:

Think back ... how many times were you invited to a wedding/shower/reception for someone you really only even knew of by way of a friend/co-worker's relationship with the person ... or even the person's extended family?
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NEVER. I've also never called a TV news reporter just because someone ticked me off.

But what does what I have/have not been invited to over the course of my life have to do with any of this? :confused:

*I* did not host THIS wedding.
*I* was not invited to THIS wedding.
*I* did not RSVP "yes".
*I* did not fail to show up and ghost for 3 weeks, failing to call and apologize.
*I* did not send the invoice.
*I* did not inform the TV station and give an interview.

I didn’t do any of those things, so don’t try to make this situation about ME.

Being invitied does not mean one has to RSVP "Yes". On the card there is a choice of yes or no.

Check with the etiquette books, AC ...
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Oh, puhleeze. :laugh:

I know all about the 10% overage/underage. Doesn't change my stance on this.

Both sides acted inappropriately.
 
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No, I wouldn't pay. Yes, it was tacky and it would make me mad but I wouldn't go as far as making it public on TV and Facebook. Now everyone knows it or has the opportunity too. Too me, that was also tacky.
 
We received a $2000 demand along with the invite to attend hubby"s sons wedding ( expencive night out) Never spoken to them since , we don't have that sort of money to pay for a holiday for them .( we did actually book a room in the only motel in the small town , before receiving the $2000 demand and they cancelled it on us telling us in a text I still have,on my phone that the rooms were booked exclusively for their " guests " . . ( we were told bring your caravan, that would have cost us a further $400 in fuel for the Rodeo which is very heavy on fuel ) .
 
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