Not that anyone is asking

Last year, I bought myself one of those Purple mattresses. They're basically foam mattresses but the design is unique and the foam itself is too. It's kind of jelly-rubbery stuff. And it's purple. Well, I sleep like a baby on it (no back pain) so I went back to the website to see if they had kid mattresses. They don't (cuz, lots of regulations) but they had pet beds. So I ordered a large (Great Dane size) pet bed for Collin. It's like 35"x47" - something like that - so it didn't fit the youth bed I got him, but that's okay bc the youth bed was too narrow (he's a big guy for his age). I built a tent to fit over/around it and he loved it even more. Anyhow, I thought CPS would take issue with one of their kids sleeping on a pet bed on the floor but both his workers loved it.
 
Murrmurr said:
So I made friends with Collin's grandma (I'll call her Jackie) very soon after I got him and she still stays in touch. Jackie called me a couple days ago after visiting Tara and the kids, Collin and his younger twin siblings, and here's what she saw:

Collin sat on the couch all day moping. He wouldn't smile and he curled up in a ball when she tried to talk to him. He was told to go play and he yelled NO! He yells at his mom and he kicks and slaps her when she tries to schmooze with him. Tara told Jackie that he just sits on the couch like that all the time and he isn't eating - over the past 3 days Tara got him to eat one banana.

When Jackie told me this I said "He's depressed!" and she said yes, that's what she told Tara but Tara said "No, he has only child syndrome." I don't know if he's seeing a therapist... Well, he wouldn't be *seeing* one, except on Zoom ...but maybe he is and that's where Tara picked up that term. He was an only child when he lived with me, but technically I'm not sure OCS would apply here. Even if it does, Collin is depressed and I think he needs counseling and not over Zoom. How the hell can Zoom be effective with a 2 1/2 year old?

Tara didn't bring Collin over last weekend and this weekend is Christmas so she won't be bringing him over this weekend either. And maybe she won't ever because of how he's acting. And if it just depresses him to go back home then maybe she shouldn't bring him here, idk. I can't be calling or texting Tara all the time, or even often. She could tell CPS I'm harassing her. I can only hope she contacts me and then I can ask about him. I will text her a Merry Christmas message today or tomorrow and include "Hope the kids are in cheerful spirits" or something like that, and hope she'll come back with something more than "Merry Christmas to you too."

Most of all I hope she brings Collin to visit over the weekends like she was doing till 2 weeks ago, and I hope that's not bad for him. Maybe this is the only place he feels loved and encouraged and it's the best thing for him.
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My 2 1/2 year old great granddaughter got social services over zoom, and speech therapy, and several others service because she tested so behind when my daughter got her back. She was 18 months delayed in speech. Now that she adopted the services ended, but my daughter worked hard to catch her up.
 
@Aneeda72 - Collin still remembers his numbers and alphabet and all that, a relief, but I gave him some books for Christmas and he's totally disinterested. He used to love books. I sent his old ones with him but his mom probably doesn't have (or make) time for books. He's changed. That was expected but it can't be imagined, so you still get bummed and stressed over it. He'll be going to Head Start soon. His mom said it'll be an in-person classroom situation, which surprised me.
 
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Murrmurr said:
Collin still remembers his numbers and alphabet and all that, a relief, but I gave him some books for Christmas and he's totally disinterested. He used to love books. I sent his old ones with him but his mom probably doesn't have (or make) time for books. He's changed. That was expected but it can't be imagined, so you still get bummed and stressed over it. He'll be going to Head Start soon. His mom said it'll be an in-person classroom situation, which surprised me.
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I think you forget she has twins, doesn’t she?. So a young mother with three little kids and one of those kids would rather be with you so he has behaviors. 🤦🏻‍♀️ Plus I am not sure grandma is on young moms side. When you got Collin was eating like he was denied food.

There is a difference between a child who chooses not to eat and one who is not fed as I am sure you know.
 
Aneeda72 said:
I think you forget she has twins, doesn’t she?. So a young mother with three little kids and one of those kids would rather be with you so he has behaviors. 🤦🏻‍♀️ Plus I am not sure grandma is one young moms side. When you got Collin was eating like he was denied food.

There is a difference between a child who chooses not to eat and one who is not fed as I am sure you know.
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Yes, I feel for Tara. This is as hard for her as it is for Collin. The twins made a complete adjustment bc they were only 13mo or around there. I sometimes wonder if it'd be easier for Tara and Collin if she stopped bringing him over, but honestly idk. And, you're right, Tara and her mom have issues.
 
It might be easier for Collin now, but he will adjust in time. It’s no different than hundreds of children who adjust to their parents divorcing, IMO. I think you having Collin helps a great deal, therefore, IMO, you should continue to take him, if you want.

I would suggest you do not make a big deal over his not eating, if true, or his behaviors at his mom’s house. As you know, children are great manipulators. They really know how to work the crowd. 🤣
 
I have not heard one good thing about Zoom therapy for kids. It`s definitely not the same.I have a few friends whose kiddos who have had to switch to Zoom and it is useless. The kids (teens,for the most part) are begging to go back to in person or they won`t bother at all.
 
Mrs. Robinson said:
I have not heard one good thing about Zoom therapy for kids. It`s definitely not the same.I have a few friends whose kiddos who have had to switch to Zoom and it is useless. The kids (teens,for the most part) are begging to go back to in person or they won`t bother at all.
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Collin was getting zoom family counseling but Tara said it was a waste of time; he fussed and wouldn't sit through it so she's going to wait until he can do it in person. She said it does him way more good to spend a couple days here with me. Gives her a break, too, but that's okay with me bc it's all the better for Collin for his mom to get a break. That's the way I look at it.
 
Wow. 2021 already. I only really got accustomed to writing 20 instead of 19 about 10 years ago...though it doesn't seem that long 🤪

Collin and I had our little Christmas, just us, last Monday. All his old "baby" toys replaced with Leap Frog and Vtech learning toys, a few little monster trucks and a set of Peppa Pig (and George and Pedro) cars, and a racetrack for them with a loop-dee-loop that actually works. Also 6 new books and 2 sets of pj's. We took a gift to my 80 yr old cousin down the road and had potato soup with her. Collin didn't like the looks of the soup so he had a few crackers and some grapes. On Tuesday he was watching a cartoon show that he asked for by name while I checked my emails and had tea and I saw him get frightened for the first time - some villain character rising from the shadows and growling at the kid-hero characters - and I muted the TV and invited him to have tea with me. Turned the TV off and we had tea together.

He had 2 melt-downs on Tuesday, one while we were outside and I told him the playground was closed and again at bedtime, and 6 on Wednesday, the day I reminded him his mom would be coming to take him home; the day that every "No" and "Not right now" was a trigger, plus once when I said I needed to go potty and I'd be back in a minute, and lastly, when his mom came to get him. You can't talk him out of these meltdowns, you just have to ride 'em out and be there for him when they're over. I did find that getting the ice cream out of the freezer helps sometimes - I was like, "I'm just gonna make myself an ice cream cone while you do all that."

Spent New Years Eve mostly watching youtube videos until midnight, waited for the fireworks and shouting to stop, and went to bed. The last few years I stepped out my door at 11:59pm and yelled Happy New Year to all the neighbors who'd stepped out their doors. Weird that didn't even cross my mind this year.
 
Well, you have a lot on your mind and its that time of the year. I always feel unsettled at the start of the new year. Be good to yourself. I am trying to meditate at least twice a day. Nothing fancy, but it does help me. I treated myself to a few new books and Amazon got them to me today, so that will help me settle down some. Take care of yourself and plan another visit will Collin soon!
 
terry123 said:
Well, you have a lot on your mind and its that time of the year. I always feel unsettled at the start of the new year. Be good to yourself. I am trying to meditate at least twice a day. Nothing fancy, but it does help me. I treated myself to a few new books and Amazon got them to me today, so that will help me settle down some. Take care of yourself and plan another visit will Collin soon!
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Man that's sure the truth.
I meditate regularly, twice a day for sure, but I'm having a hard time turning my brain off. It's usually easy. I don't have an appetite lately, too. I'm thinking I need to force myself to get outside and walk more.
 
I have trouble turning the brain off too but I try to concentrate more on my breathing. I try to start my day also with daily devotionals with my first cup of coffee. The one for Jan 1 was "Living from my divine nature, I begin again". My best friend and I have been giving each other a subscription to The Daily Word for over 20 years. I read mine with a cup of coffee each day and she reads hers with a cup of tea.

She lives in Center, Texas and I am in Houston and we rarely see each other but we email and phone each other every week. I met her when I lived in Center. Our daughters were in the same grade and grew to be best friends, roomed together at SFA, and both went to pharmacy school, graduated, and work as pharmacists now.

We are more or less so different as she is a "yankee" and I am pretty southern. I still cannot abide her cooking as they are bland to me and mine are too spicy for her as I cook Southern and "cajun"! Through our daughters friendship I converted to her episcopal faith as I finally felt comfortable there. Our little church there in Center is very small but the people there are very spiritual and I felt at home. I was raised in the Southern Baptist faith but never felt like I belonged.

I don't attend services here in Houston since the virus has pretty much dictated much smaller attendance. So I subscribe to the pod casts and watch each Sunday. Looking forward to Lent and what I will let go of for it. A good time to let go of certain habits and expectations. I try to affirm "Peace is mine and all is well"

Sorry to post so long but I am thumbing through my Daily Word as I type and certain phrases jump out to me as I read and type. I love it as its not any certain faith or Church. They don't ask for money but I send a donation now and then.
 
terry123 said:
I have trouble turning the brain off too but I try to concentrate more on my breathing. I try to start my day also with daily devotionals with my first cup of coffee. The one for Jan 1 was "Living from my divine nature, I begin again". My best friend and I have been giving each other a subscription to The Daily Word for over 20 years. I read mine with a cup of coffee each day and she reads hers with a cup of tea.

She lives in Center, Texas and I am in Houston and we rarely see each other but we email and phone each other every week. I met her when I lived in Center. Our daughters were in the same grade and grew to be best friends, roomed together at SFA, and both went to pharmacy school, graduated, and work as pharmacists now.

We are more or less so different as she is a "yankee" and I am pretty southern. I still cannot abide her cooking as they are bland to me and mine are too spicy for her as I cook Southern and "cajun"! Through our daughters friendship I converted to her episcopal faith as I finally felt comfortable there. Our little church there in Center is very small but the people there are very spiritual and I felt at home. I was raised in the Southern Baptist faith but never felt like I belonged.

I don't attend services here in Houston since the virus has pretty much dictated much smaller attendance. So I subscribe to the pod casts and watch each Sunday. Looking forward to Lent and what I will let go of for it. A good time to let go of certain habits and expectations. I try to affirm "Peace is mine and all is well"

Sorry to post so long but I am thumbing through my Daily Word as I type and certain phrases jump out to me as I read and type. I love it as its not any certain faith or Church. They don't ask for money but I send a donation now and then.
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It's a very nice post, Terry. Thank you. 💐
 
Murrmurr said:
I've been feeling off balance the past couple days; my energy level is super low but at the same time I feel really restless. It's kind of unsettling.
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No wonder you feel as you do. The situation with Collin is uber stressful. I think, perhaps, you may not be aware of how strong and exceptional a man you truly are. You have my respect and admiration. This, folks, is what love looks like. 🤗💐
 
Shalimar said:
No wonder you feel as you do. The situation with Collin is uber stressful. I think, perhaps, you may not be aware of how strong and exceptional a man you truly are. You have my respect and admiration. This, folks, is what love looks like. 🤗💐
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Thank you, Shalimar. Very kind words.
I had a casual, fun conversation with a friend last night and felt motivated enough to go out and buy some groceries today, and even ate a hearty lunch. I feel quite a bit better. Fingers crossed, hoping Tara will text about bringing Collin over this weekend.
 
Murrmurr said:
A young lady came around the corner at the store and caught me doing a happy dance, super jazzed that I finally found where they keep the friggin Q-Tips. She diverted her eyes.

Life is kinda pathetic sometimes. Woulda been nice to get a high-five.
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We have done that before especially when we found toilet paper. You’ve thought we found the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow 😂
 
Tara is bringing Collin over tomorrow and will pick him up on Saturday. Yay! It's been gently raining off and on the past several days so I hope it rains while he's here bc I want to take him out and play in it for a little bit. My kids loved playing in the rain when they were his age. In any case, we'll puddle-jump at least. Gotta go get him some rain boots today so we're prepared.
 

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