Not that anyone is asking

Murrmurr said:
And that last one is a tricky one because if I, say, held him and rocked him in the rocking chair, he might have more melt-downs just so he could be held and rocked. So mostly I just hug him and tell him that everything is going to be okay (maybe...someday, right?) and then I ask him what does he want to do today, or something like that, just to get his mind off it. Whatever it is. Like I said, probably everything.
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Before I got this far my first thought was pick that little guy up and hug him, love on him! Sounds to me the younger kids get all the affection in that household!
 

Found this wrapped in a towel in my sister's laundry hamper:

bonnie's pipe.jpg

Doesn't smell of cannabis so I suspect it's either for crack cocaine or, more likely, crystal meth. And she's probably getting that shyte from, and smoking it with, her boyfriend.

I'm so disappointed in her. But I'm way more angry than disappointed. Has this thing been hidden here while Paxton was visiting?? I'd be looking at jail or even prison if his CPS worker or a cop found it.

The pipe is going in the trash, and my sister's gonna have to find somewhere to live. At the moment, I'm torn about waiting until after the holidays to actually put her out. I will definitely confront her with this, but if she hasn't found a place before Thanksgiving then I might like, skip Dec, you know? Give her a bye until January (using a sports term).

I don't know....maybe. It's about impossible to muster any sympathy for her right now. And in any case, she's gotta go asap.

Meanwhile, she's gonna stay away from my grandkids. If they come over for a weekend, she has to go stay at her boyfriend's or whatever. And, really, they should just stay away until she's gone. I'll tell their dad that.

This is so messed up.
 
I understand your anger..I went through something similar with my youngest sister...it' makes you disappointed, and angry as well, after everything you've done for them and the lies they've told you.. you feel taken for a clown...

Leaving her living there until January means another 4 months.. that's not telling her your not gonna accept this... she needs to go.. one month and Max would be what I would do.. and I did...
 

hollydolly said:
I understand your anger..I went through something similar with my youngest sister...it' makes you disappointed, and angry as well, after everything you've done for them and the lies they've told you.. you feel taken for a clown...

Leaving her living there until January means another 4 months.. that's not telling her your not gonna accept this... she needs to go.. one month and Max would be what I would do.. and I did...
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hearlady said:
I agree. Some things are deal breakers. Sorry @Murrmurr . 😒
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Pinky said:
I'm at a loss for words, Murr. There must be something you can do about seeing Paxton.

About your sister - she can go stay with her boyfriend. You have been good to her, and, she has taken advantage.
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I agree with all of you. The problem is, she will no doubt be homeless when I put her out, and that's why I'd wait til after Christmas. I don't know the boyfriend's situation but if she could live with him, she'd be there already. She wouldn't even have moved in here. So I assume he lives with other people or another GF or his landlord won't allow it.

I'll ask him.

@Pinky - seeing Paxton doesn't have anything to do with my sister. The couple who are going to adopt him decided to end the visits. Paxton's CPS worker says it's so they can focus on bonding with the kids. I think that's BS. I think the foster dad just doesn't like to hear Paxton say almost every day that he misses me and wants to come see me.

I've talked to my attorney about it and he went as far as he could with family court. I have no legal rights to Paxton whatsoever and there aren't any laws that protect our relationship. So CPS totally has me by the pooter regarding Paxton.
 
Murrmurr said:
I agree with all of you. The problem is, she will no doubt be homeless when I put her out, and that's why I'd wait til after Christmas. I don't know the boyfriend's situation but if she could live with him, she'd be there already. She wouldn't even have moved in here. So I assume he lives with other people or another GF or his landlord won't allow it.

I'll ask him.

@Pinky - seeing Paxton doesn't have anything to do with my sister. The couple who are going to adopt him decided to end the visits. Paxton's CPS worker says it's so they can focus on bonding with the kids. I think that's BS. I think the foster dad just doesn't like to hear Paxton say almost every day that he misses me and wants to come see me.

I've talked to my attorney about it and he went as far as he could with family court. I have no legal rights to Paxton whatsoever and there aren't any laws that protect our relationship. So CPS totally has me by the pooter regarding Paxton.
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But, in any case, she's gotta go. The sooner the better.
 
Devi said:
Surely she doesn't need four months to move out?

Hey, maybe she could cut down on her drugs and save up money that way. Well, I'm sure it doesn't work that way.
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she'd soon find the money if she was given a month to get out.... I understand you Frank.. you're still thinking with your heart cuz she's your sister...time to harden yourself and think with your head.. She's taking you for a ride..
 
hollydolly said:
she'd soon find the money if she was given a month to get out.... I understand you Frank.. you're still thinking with your heart cuz she's your sister...time to harden yourself and think with your head.. She's taking you for a ride..
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(also, @Devi and @RadishRose )

If all she needed to get a place was money, I'd have given it to her. The only problem is her credit history. It sucks ...big time. After she first moved in she applied for several rentals and got turned down because of her credit history.

So I got her a bunch of applications for low-income housing. They set a lower standard as far as credit history's concerned, and she does qualify. They have long waiting lists but at least she's on their lists. And I told her to apply as a "displaced person," which classifies her housing need as Urgent, moving her up the waiting lists. Plus she applied for one-bedroom units only, and that shortens her wait even more because housing families is a priority, and by law, they have to give families 2 or more bedrooms.

Bonnie has lied to me, obviously, and she's a forking idiot in general, but she's not taking me for a ride. I'm charging her rent by the week, and she pays it....missed a couple times, but made it up the following week. She helps with the cleaning and cooking (tho' I wish she was better at both), and she buys food and household items and all her own sundries. She's even bought food for my stupid cat.

The only reason I don't wanna boot her out between Nov and Jan is because that's the Merry time of year, and it's also the worst time for available housing bc nobody moves house over the holidays.

So I'm gonna give her to the 2nd week of Nov, and if she hasn't found a place by then, I'll extend it to the first week of Jan.
 
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Devi said:
Ah, then there's extra money. Which could go to rent somewhere.
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Yeah, she has a pretty decent job. It pays over minimum wage plus she gets a sales commission, but she only works 24 to 30hrs/week. Which is why she qualifies for low-income housing.

She had money to spend when she first moved in with us because I didn't charge her any rent...at first. Not until I saw her hauling in loads of shopping bags every freaking week - new clothes, expensive cosmetics, shoes, plus I found out she was going to some casino. She even bought tickets to a major rock concert!

She was supposed to be socking money away so she could move. That's the deal we made but, obviously, it's not what she was doing. So I started charging her rent and I opened an account at my bank, in my name. There's enough in there right now to cover her moving costs and get all the utilities in her name and all that.

What happens after that is not my problem. She's not coming back here, that's for sure.
 
Pinky said:
This is all very upsetting .. I can only imagine how devastated you must feel. Brandon
obviously isn't concerned with Paxton's emotional well-being. His own ego is more important to him.
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Yep, that's what I think, too.

I'll probably never stop worrying about Paxton. I lose a lot of sleep worrying about him.

Last time I talked to him was when Brandon let him call me. I told him to not worry about me, to just focus on school, learn lots of new things and make some friends.

He started kindergarten this year.
 
Murrmurr said:
Yeah, she has a pretty decent job. It pays over minimum wage plus she gets a sales commission, but she only works 24 to 30hrs/week. Which is why she qualifies for low-income housing.

She had money to spend when she first moved in with us because I didn't charge her any rent...at first. Not until I saw her hauling in loads of shopping bags every freaking week - new clothes, expensive cosmetics, shoes, plus I found out she was going to some casino. She even bought tickets to a major rock concert!

She was supposed to be socking money away so she could move. That's the deal we made but, obviously, it's not what she was doing. So I started charging her rent and I opened an account at my bank, in my name. There's enough in there right now to cover her moving costs and get all the utilities in her name and all that.

What happens after that is not my problem. She's not coming back here, that's for sure.
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wow you're too kind.. you're acting as tho' you were her dad.. not her brother, bless you.. but she's got no respect for you.. that's now become clear.

. ..is there a reason none of the rest of her family will take her in ?... I think I can guess at that
 
Murrmurr said:
He started kindergarten this year.
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My grandson too! It's such a cute age! I pick him up from school at least once a week. The whole class is adorable!

He goes to a small neighborhood public school. The PTA is very strong, which is what the kids need. Saw the older grades too.

They're all adorable and they are all coughing & sneezing!
 
Pepper said:
Frank, I read this page backwards. I'm crushed for you about not seeing Paxton. I am so very sorry. I read about your sister afterwards. You're a good, loving person. I'm blessed to know you. Wish my parents had given me a baby brother! I'd want him to be you ❤️ ❤️
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I'm afraid I missed that too and I'm also very sorry. 😔
 
Why don't courts pay attention when a "parent" is ready to cut a child off from a person who loves him? This happens in divorce cases so often. The custodial parent will decide the child can't see certain grandparents anymore. Shouldn't that be a red flag to the powers that be, that the child's needs are not coming first?

At least Paxton is going to school now and that can be a truly happy period out of every day for a child, no matter what's going on at home.
 
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