Not that anyone is asking

Murrmurr said:
Bonnie finally starts treatment tonight! Sutter oncology couldn't get her in to implant the chemo-port thing for 2 weeks because some of them are on vacation, so one of the oncologists called her and told her to go to Sutter Hosp ER and he'll meet her there, implant the thing, run some tests, and start chemo either tonight or early in the morning/ASAP.

This whole thing is mind-blowing...that Kaiser delayed treatment for months. Since April! ...or whenever Easter was. And in all those months they didn't even refer her to oncology yet. I don't get it.

I'm gonna look into a lawsuit. I'm serious, and it seems obvious she has a case. She has a son in his mid-20s, I'll talk to him about it. He should file on his mother's behalf. He's a good kid, he's been helping her a lot and he's got youth and gumption going for him, so he could see it through, ya know?
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Easter was just 5 weeks ago Frank.... but it will seem like months to you...... the very best of luck to Bonnie, I hope everything goes well for her...
 
Sue anyone you can over this abominable treatment. I have great med mal attorneys, but they are in NYC. See if you can find an outfit that has doctor/lawyers combo (an atty who is also an MD); look for a firm that has former judges in it, they are the best med mal.
 
I actually hate the idea of you getting mixed up with lawyers right now. I am so sorry for Bonnie. As for Michelle, she sounds like my DIL, knows how to get things done.
 
Pepper said:
I actually hate the idea of you getting mixed up with lawyers right now. I am so sorry for Bonnie. As for Michelle, she sounds like my DIL, knows how to get things done.
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I'm just really pissed. I've been reading all this stuff about the survival rate and treatments and it doesn't look good at all, and Meesh keeps telling me to stop reading that sh!t and focus on *practical things*. She's also concerned that if I pursue legal action it will put stress on Bon, and that Bon would put all her energy in that when she needs all she's got to get through treatment...and what if she'd have to do depositions and stuff? It would be taxing.

And she's right about all that. Bonnie's always up for a fight, but she's only got the strength for one right now....and barely. The last few phone calls, she sounded so freaking tired. She even nodded off a couple times.

I should just leave it to her son to sue or not...like, down the road. And I can help him get an attorney if he needs me to.

And, yep, things happen when Michelle makes a call. (literally and figuratively)
 
hollydolly said:
Easter was just 5 weeks ago Frank.... but it will seem like months to you...... the very best of luck to Bonnie, I hope everything goes well for her...
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Oh.

Still, there's no excuse for 5 weeks to process a referral when the diagnosis is metastasized lung cancer. And the referral was still being processed last Monday, when she switched to the other provider. They got chit done within 3 days. They didn't even wait for a nod from her insurance. They'll deal with it later.

Ok, so you might find this interesting: Here in the US, hospitals known as Mercy Hospitals take donations from local merchants and businesses of all kinds and individual people, and they use that money to cover medical costs for patients who can't pay the bills or don't have insurance. Mercy Hospitals never turn patients away. The hosp where Bonnie's at is one of those.

Do you guys have them? There used to be a lot more of them here but they started disappearing a few decades ago.
 
Murrmurr said:
Oh.

Still, there's no excuse for 5 weeks to process a referral when the diagnosis is metastasized lung cancer. And the referral was still being processed last Monday, when she switched to the other provider. They got chit done within 3 days. They didn't even wait for a nod from her insurance. They'll deal with it later.

Ok, so you might find this interesting: Here in the US, hospitals known as Mercy Hospitals take donations from local merchants and businesses of all kinds and individual people, and they use that money to cover medical costs for patients who can't pay the bills or don't have insurance. Mercy Hospitals never turn patients away. The hosp where Bonnie's at is one of those.

Do you guys have them? There used to be a lot more of them here but they started disappearing a few decades ago.
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Not to my knowledge, Frank
 
I got a call from Bonnie's phone last night, and it was a lady friend of hers. She said sorry for calling at night, but she just got there to stay the night and Bonnie didn't look so good, so she was gonna take her to the hospital. Naturally, I told her to call anytime at all, and let me know how it goes at the ER, let me know if I need to go there, etc.

She called back, maybe an hour later. She couldn't get Bonnie down the stairs - she lives in a 3rd-floor apartment - so she called 911 and an ambulance got there just a few minutes later. Bonnie's vitals were all good, and she answered some questions just fine...like what year is it? who's the president? stuff like that.

The EMTs said she's pale, weak, and not very alert because she just started aggressive chemotherapy a few days ago. Bonnie came around pretty good after they gave her a little oxygen and something to level out her blood glucose, and the friend said she'd keep an eye on her through the night.

My 27yr-old granddaughter, "Panda", called Bonnie yesterday, and then she called me. She said her Aunt Bonnie told her the oncologist said she has about a week and 1/2 to live. WHAT?? That's the first I heard that, so either Bonnie didn't want to tell me that, or Panda misunderstood...like, maybe the doc meant "if we don't do chemo" or something.

So I'm gonna give Bonnie a call later this morning.
 
No, and I will tell you the Absolute Truth. Bonnie Cannot Survive This. I am so sorry, but learned this from my dad, who had what she had. I could go into details, but there is no point.

I don't even think Bonnie should be enduring treatment. "Don't bother her" my mom would say in Yiddish.

I AM SO VERY VERY SORRY.
 
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Pepper said:
No, and I will tell you the Absolute Truth. Bonnie Cannot Survive This. I am so sorry, but learned this from my dad, who had what she had. I could go into details, but there is no point.

I don't even think Bonnie should be enduring treatment. "Don't bother her" my mom would say in Yiddish.

I AM SO VERY VERY SORRY.
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You did tell me before (in so many words) the life-expectancy is brief, and I looked at some statistics, which were grim, but the thing is, I don't get why they would even have her do chemo unless they thought she could get another year or two.

Maybe she insisted, idk. I'm gonna talk to her. I agree, why go through it? Makes no sense. ...but then, Bonnie's never been particularly sensible.
 
Pinky said:
Bonnie sounds like a strong person, though perhaps not very sensible. .. very sorry that she is going through this.

Hang in there, Murr. I know, easy for someone else to say.
🤗
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Bonnie is a fighter, for sure, but if it's true she doesn't even have a month, then maybe this reaction she's having to the chemo will change her mind about treatment. I think she'd rather spend her time enjoying her crafting and laughing with friends and family.

There's more to it. Like, I'm sure she wants more time to make it up to everyone for not being a very nice person all the years she was a drug addict. I need to tell her to let that shyte go. Water under the bridge, you know?
 
Murrmurr said:
Bonnie is a fighter, for sure, but if it's true she doesn't even have a month, then maybe this reaction she's having to the chemo will change her mind about treatment. I think she'd rather spend her time enjoying her crafting and laughing with friends and family.

There's more to it. Like, I'm sure she wants more time to make it up to everyone for not being a very nice person all the years she was a drug addict. I need to tell her to let that shyte go. Water under the bridge, you know?
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If she only has a short time left, I hope she can be kept comfortable .. and that quality time can be spent with family and friends.
 
Had a lunch date with Melanie today. She brought her mom with her. It was nice meeting her, but I got kind of an odd vibe from her. Not sure what it was, or why. She asked me to become a member of a board that does charitable work and obtains services for mentally disabled people, and I agreed to join but I quit after just 2 meetings. Maybe that's the reason.

Me & Melanie laugh a lot over our once-a-month-lunches. Her mom didn't even crack a smile. It was weird. She didn't seem angry, she just seems kind of critical or judgemental or something. That's how she looked at me. I mean, that was the look in her eyes when they met mine.

Her eyes, btw, are lavender. Pretty cool.

Anyway, we had a nice lunch and it was fun. Mel still gets Paxton and the twins one or 2 weekends a month, so she caught me up on how Paxton's doing and showed me some pictures. He lost another tooth and graduates kindergarten next week. I updated Mel on how Bonnie's doing and showed her a picture of Scribbles, the new cat, and told her all about that adventure.

A couple weeks ago, Mel suggested I write a letter to Paxton. I did. It's about our history together and everything between then and now. I told her I wrote it and I'm gonna give her a copy, and before she said what I figured she was thinking - "How do I give this to Paxton (or read it to him) without Brandon knowing?" - I told her I wrote it to an older Paxton. I wrote it as if he's 16 or 18 or 20-something. I'll give it to her at our next lunch and she's gonna save it for him. I also printed a copy for each of my sons, and I'm thinking I'll print one for Paxton's grandmother.

It's impossible to know if he'll ever see it, but it is what it is.
 

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