Not that anyone is asking

Frank, it could be as @Pinky said and Mel’s mom has heard some untruths. It could be she has a disease that takes away facial expressions. It could be she was nervous meeting you. Or shy. Try not to read anything too much into it until you’ve been around her a couple more times. Even better, don’t worry about her lack of reaction. You have so much on your mind. Hugs.
 
It could be something simple like, mum thinks Mel is unwise to keep in contact with you, perhaps she thinks Mel is caught in the middle of the situation. Which, I guess, is a fair concern and nothing personal against you. All you can do is be pleasant and take the view that, her problem is not your problem.

I think the letter is a great idea and it will mean a lot to Paxton when he is older. :)

On another note, I was so sorry to read about Bonnie. I hope she is as comfortable as possible. x
 

T
Pepper said:
No, and I will tell you the Absolute Truth. Bonnie Cannot Survive This. I am so sorry, but learned this from my dad, who had what she had. I could go into details, but there is no point.

I don't even think Bonnie should be enduring treatment. "Don't bother her" my mom would say in Yiddish.

I AM SO VERY VERY SORRY.
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This is a hard truth. You might directly ask why the chemo. Is it because you fought for treatment and they're giving you hope? Or could it truly give her some years?
I'm so untrusting of the medical (sales, pharmacy involvement) is it an experimental drug?

I agree she needs to let go of her past. Water under the bridge....yes. She used to be a good soul before the drugs.
 
hearlady said:
.... She used to be a good soul before the drugs.
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She was such a cute little thing. She was petite and had big green eyes, a delicate little nose and an impish smile on a cute little face. She looked like a pixie, seriously. (not the creepy Cornish/Harry Potter ones)

She was only 14 when someone at school introduced her to drugs, 16 when she got pregnant, addicted to meth in her 20s, and tried every drug under the sun after that. A long-time boyfriend kept her supplied. She finally left him when she was around 35, and that's when she started trying to clean up, but she kept falling into relationships with these scummy so-called "former" addicts because she didn't know how to get into a job field and be responsible for herself...or she didn't want to. Plus, there was the draw of the drug culture, I guess. None of those guys was a former addict. By choice or need, she was totally dependent in just about every aspect of life, and she'd get with these clowns and fall right back into using.

She finally made it, though. She did relapse now and then, when she was with her new boyfriend for a weekend or whatever, but at age 51 she got a job she loved, and at 52, for the first time in her life, she had her own car, a drivers license, and an apartment. She was so proud of herself. She finally had confidence in herself. She'd call me just to tell me she paid this bill and that one; just normal stuff, but she was so proud that she was managing it all by herself.

And then she gets this diagnosis.

Maybe she wants to fight it because she figures that, if she finally conquered her addiction she can conquer anything. Maybe she just thinks it's unfair, like her relationships...all those guys who knocked her back down just when she was starting to pull herself up. It is kind of like that, really. It probably feels the same.
 
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I was hoping she was older. If she wants to fight then:
life lettering quotes typography design ...

Bonnie, you go girl and may fate be with you
 
Bonnie was admitted to the hospital last night. She spent the night in the ER ICU, and they moved her to a regular room in the oncology unit this afternoon.

She said she's having bad side effects to chemotherapy and went to the ER when she realized couldn't pee. I've never heard of that side effect (I'm gonna look it up).

Her white blood cell count was dangerously low, which is probly why they put her in the ICU. Apparently they got that stabilized...enough to be in a reg room. And they have her on what they call a "supportive diet". I have no idea how that tastes, but I'm sure it's good for her right now.

They're doing very aggressive chemo, and Bonnie is frail in general - health-wise, physically, and even psychologically. She's not in any way what you'd call robust.

Her nurse said she'd keep me updated.

edit: Brain tumors can cause urinary retention.
 
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Murrmurr said:
Bonnie was admitted to the hospital last night. She spent the night in the ER ICU, and they moved her to a regular room in the oncology unit this afternoon.

She said she's having bad side effects to chemotherapy and went to the ER when she realized couldn't pee. I've never heard of that side effect (I'm gonna look it up).

Her white blood cell count was dangerously low, which is probly why they put her in the ICU. Apparently they got that stabilized...enough to be in a reg room. And they have her on what they call a "supportive diet". I have no idea how that tastes, but I'm sure it's good for her right now.

They're doing very aggressive chemo, and Bonnie is frail in general - health-wise, physically, and even psychologically. She's not in any way what you'd call robust.

Her nurse said she'd keep me updated.

edit: Brain tumors can cause urinary retention.
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Sorry to hear about Bonnie. I hope she is able to get through the chemo. It's rough, that much I know from my late mother's experience.

It's great that her nurse is keeping you updated.
 
Murrmurr said:
Bonnie was admitted to the hospital last night. She spent the night in the ER ICU, and they moved her to a regular room in the oncology unit this afternoon.

She said she's having bad side effects to chemotherapy and went to the ER when she realized couldn't pee. I've never heard of that side effect (I'm gonna look it up).

Her white blood cell count was dangerously low, which is probly why they put her in the ICU. Apparently they got that stabilized...enough to be in a reg room. And they have her on what they call a "supportive diet". I have no idea how that tastes, but I'm sure it's good for her right now.

They're doing very aggressive chemo, and Bonnie is frail in general - health-wise, physically, and even psychologically. She's not in any way what you'd call robust.

Her nurse said she'd keep me updated.

edit: Brain tumors can cause urinary retention.
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Brain tumors can cause urinary retention, and tumors on the spinal column can, too. And that's what they found yesterday. Bonnie has a tumor at the base of her spinal column.

I asked her about her prognosis. My granddaughter said Bonnie told her 2 to 2 1/2 weeks, but when I asked Bonnie today she said no one has even talked to her about that. So I did. I told her to ask the oncologist. He'll be in to see her today (she's still in the hosp). Then she can decide if treatment and surgery, the fight in general, is worth it.

She said *someone* mentioned surgery to her....radiation targeting the spinal tumor, and then surgery to remove it. It's impossible to know what's going on - she says one thing one day and something different the next...maybe because she has brain tumors, idk. The hospital liaison and her nurse are supposed to be keeping me informed, but no one does.

Frustrating.
 
Murrmurr said:
Brain tumors can cause urinary retention, and tumors on the spinal column can, too. And that's what they found yesterday. Bonnie has a tumor at the base of her spinal column.

I asked her about her prognosis. My granddaughter said Bonnie told her 2 to 2 1/2 weeks, but when I asked Bonnie today she said no one has even talked to her about that. So I did. I told her to ask the oncologist. He'll be in to see her today (she's still in the hosp). Then she can decide if treatment and surgery, the fight in general, is worth it.

She said *someone* mentioned surgery to her....radiation targeting the spinal tumor, and then surgery to remove it. It's impossible to know what's going on - she says one thing one day and something different the next...maybe because she has brain tumors, idk. The hospital liaison and her nurse are supposed to be keeping me informed, but no one does.

Frustrating.
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Bonnie sounds too ill for surgery but, if it is possible, it gives a ray of hope that Bonnie's life may be extended. I guess you will have to wait and see what the oncologist says. In the meantime, life is very difficult atm for you all, I hope you are taking care. x
 
Trish said:
Bonnie sounds too ill for surgery but, if it is possible, it gives a ray of hope that Bonnie's life may be extended. I guess you will have to wait and see what the oncologist says. In the meantime, life is very difficult atm for you all, I hope you are taking care. x
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My thinking is, if she doesn't have very long, she might rather spend the time doing things she enjoys over spending it in & out of the hospital and being sick and weak from chemo.

But that's my thinking. Maybe she'd rather fight til the very end.

I hope you are taking care. x
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We are, thank you, Trish.
 
Pinky said:
@Murrmurr
Somebody should be keeping you informed, as promised.
Meanwhile, you must be quite confused as to whether/when Bonnie is having surgery.
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Sometimes I think maybe she doesn't want me to know everything. There's been times I've acted more like a dad than a brother.

I just got off the phone with her a few minutes ago. She sounded good!
 
Bonnie's going to come stay with us for several days or so, while she's getting radiation therapy. They aren't keeping her in hospital for that this time (probly her ins. won't cover it), so she drives to and from. But she lives in a 3rd-floor apt and has trouble getting up and down the stairs every time she has to go for treatment.

So I talked her into coming here...no stairs, plus she can sit out back and have maté with me, and watch the squirrels and cats if she wants. To relax.

She finally confirmed that her oncologist did say she probly has 2 to 2 1/2 weeks. That was 2 weeks ago, so she feels the treatment is working, and it's worth the side effects, and she wants to stay in the fight.

I totally respect it.
 

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