Not that anyone is asking

After gazing out the window for, he doesn’t know how long, Dross led Jim to a 3rd room where two or three tall greys and two of “another kind” sat at a long table. One of the other kinds was obviously female. “That was just a vibe at first, a nurturing, unconditional, pure love vibe. But then I heard this soft, beautiful voice….”

She: It’s alright. Everything is fine. There is no need to fear us. I have known you for a long time, and I love you.

Despite the assuring voice, the sight of her and the other one scared the hell out of Jim at first, and he’s sure that’s why she spoke up right away. He described them as 8 or 9ft tall green mantids…as in, extraordinarily huge praying mantises. “Frightening-looking. Nightmarish. The stuff of horror films. But so gentle, respectful, protective…the only word for it is loving.”

Sitting on the end of the table where Jim stood was one of those black cubes, just like he’d seen in the “kids room” and on the table in front of the TG who sat across from the podium TG during his 2nd experience.

“Suddenly this image pops up from the cube and floats a couple feet above it, like a hologram only in perfect HD-3D. The image was as wide as my out-stretched arms, and it starts moving, and I’m seeing rows and rows…endless rows of men in military uniforms, all marching in precise unison. And they look real, like they’re really there. I could see the texture of their skin, and the threads on their patches; I could smell the dirt and grass they were marching on.

“And I thought ‘Vietnam,’ you know? But then I see several tanks goin’ in different directions, and then these weird military Jeeps roll in, and they’ve each got like a wall cutting across the center, and each wall has the grief-end of a dozen or so 9-inch (diameter) gun-barrels sticking out of them. And farther back in this field are these super-long cannons on small platforms with big, fat tires, and one of them blasts out a huge rocket that instantly takes off at, like, 2000 mph, and then takes a sharp right turn, like it’s a guided missile.

“And it’s obvious this isn’t ’Nam; this is some war in the future. I was 24 when I’m seeing this, so at first I thought near future, because I assumed the images they were showing me were relevant to me, personally. But we didn’t have weapons like that back then. Not even close.

“I’ve seen them recently, though….in Ukraine.”

This is where I told Jim I’ve seen videos about alien abductions, and almost all the abductees are shown images of war, and the aliens warn them this great war is coming…

“Yes, but they misunderstand the message, Frank. The aliens aren’t warning us that there’s a war coming. Hell, we all know a war is coming; a war is always coming. That’s the message. The aliens are warning us to stop having all these wars or else there won’t be enough of us left…well, positively not enough with the motivation and commitment to fight the real war; the one we were chosen to fight eons ago. The Heavenly War.”

By Heavenly War, Jim doesn’t mean religious war: “It’s definitely a good versus evil war, and it will be devastating, but it takes place in the heavens; in outer space. It’s intergalactic. And it has nothing whatsoever to do with our planet; it’s about all life everywhere.”

After the hologram ended…

Dross: We can not stop this. It is prohibited to intervene in these matters. Your kind must learn and change, or we are all doomed.

J: Wars are president-level, military-industrial-complex decisions. What can I do? I’m just one guy.

She: You have done much already, Jim. You have no idea.

J: With my blood and tissue samples? And my semen? What was the purpose of all that?

Dross: It will be a waste of time to explain the many complex processes we have developed and refined over many generations. You will not understand.

Jim: Try me. Explain it, and if I don’t understand, then explain it in simpler terms.

She stood from the table: Essence.

I’ll interject here that Jim said She wore a long, beautiful red gown with glowing green flecks and streaks all through it, and it hung to her “ankles” but it seemed weightless. He had a really hard time describing it. Also, it was sleeveless, and She definitely had praying-mantis arms.

Anyway, Jim understood that She used the word essence as a substitute for a thing or substance he wouldn’t understand.

She walked over to him: Humans possess a highly specialized essence intended to serve a great and noble purpose; the preservation of all life in the universe.

She then looked at Dross and gestured in a way that Jim took to mean “Go ahead; explain.”

Just then, several small greys came in and walked directly over to Jim. Some ran around him a couple times, and they touched his arms and his hands and squeezed his biceps, and they wanted to touch his long hair, so he bent down and let them. Jim is sure they were in that 1st room he went into. He said they were playful and friendly, and they just seemed like a bunch of happy little kids.

Jim (kind of angrily): Are these hybrids? Are they mine? Is this why you excruciatingly sucked semen out of me?

Dross: These are not your children. You have no children.

Then Dross explained that most of those “children” were over twice Jim’s age, some twice their age, and that small greys could live to several hundred times the lifespan of an average human.

According to Jim, “TGs live for tens of thousands of years, but they mature at a pace relative to the average human who lives for around 80. That’s why, from their point of view, the people of Earth are advancing at an accelerated rate, and that’s why they’re all so interested in us - what creative and well-educated humans can accomplish in 10 or 15 years takes them thousands of years.

“All the advanced technology and knowledge of the Aliens that we know about, because we’ve seen them, all that took tens of thousands, and for some, even millions of years of experiments and development.”
 

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Now, the rest of Jim’s story is what Dross and She told him to explain the reasons for their visits and the abductions, but it’s really long and kind of complex, so I’m just going to write what I got out of it. But Jim read it over, and he gave it a thumbs up.

The TGs want to capture and isolate this “human essence” so that they can precisely replicate it. This essence gives humans the ability to be psychic, to use telekinesis, to communicate telepathically, including with non-humans, and a few other things. Thousands of years ago, humans were tortured, maimed, burned alive, drowned, hung, drawn and quartered, and otherwise killed for using these abilities, and the abilities were eventually lost. We abandoned them out of fear. Plus, we were taught to hate them, all these abilities, and laugh at them, just like we’ve been taught to laugh at people who see UFOs.

Because of that, long ago, TGs started trying to help us remember how to use all our psychic abilities, but they haven't been as successful as they hoped, so they started attempting to replicate it, and use it themselves.

The reason this is important (according to Dross) is because humans were created for a destiny that requires our built-in warrior instincts as well as our natural psychic abilities, and that destiny is to win the Heavenly War.

Jim asked what is our destiny, the destiny of humans, the reason for our creation, and She answered “To teach the Consciousness of the Essence. If Dross and his kind fail to assist in the survival of your kind, many worlds will die. Eventually, all will die.”

But the TGs actually messed up along the way themselves. A bunch of them abandoned their destiny to be our support before, during, and after the war, to pursue scientific knowledge and power. They’ve taken our essence, too, and they’ve been real shiddy about it. But they aren’t replicating it, they’re main-lining it, and it has changed them in very negative ways. According to Dross, they are “impure.”

The TGs world is far older than ours, and the impure ones figure they deserve to be the saviors of the universe, They’re jealous of humans, and they hate us. They interfere with the pure TGs who are trying to help us regain our psychic abilities, or replicate the thing that enables them, which is their Hail Mary back-up plan.

Jim says you can tell the bad ones from the good ones; the impure from the pure. They look a little different, and their vibe is totally different. Basically, they’re outwardly mean and indifferent to our suffering and our situation. And according to Dross, the bad ones commune and collude with greedy and powerful humans right here on Earth.


And that’s it. That’s Jim’s story and everything he learned from Dross and She, the one he calls Mantid Mother.

Fascinating, right?

I told Jim he ought to write a book, but he says there’s a very good reason why he won’t.
(I bet it’s in the last line of that last paragraph)
 
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Alcoholics can come up with several excuses reasons for requesting prescription medications for depression, anxiety, and tremors and ticks, and my 30-something granddaughter usually downs hers with vodka. While she stayed here the past few days, she only did that when she thought I was asleep or distracted or whatever.

She asked if she and her boyfriend could stay for one night, repeatedly emphasizing it would only be for one night, but, later, she tearful gave me one excuse reason after another for letting them stay just one more night; engine trouble, the cold, waiting for "someone" to drop off gas money. Meanwhile, their dishes and snack-trash had stacked up in the bedroom, the kitchen, and the family room. The boyfriend cooked dinner for everyone that 1st night, and they did leave the following morning(-ish), but I'd just finished scrubbing the range-top, because the dude didn’t even bother to wipe up splatters and shidt, when she called to ask if they could come back; her car was acting up.

Back they came, and I took her van for a short test-drive, and checked the fluids. I couldn’t figure out the problem, so I recommended they take it to an auto shop around the corner; they’ve always been honest with me and Michelle, and their prices are reasonable. I gave my GD a $100 bill to cover the diagnostic tests and told her to put the change in the gas tank. They bought hotdogs and buns, chili, shredded cheese, cookies, and a bottle of Smirnoff ICE instead. I mean, what car needs gas when it’s spending the night in a repair shop?...and anyway, “We don’t want to eat all your food, Grampa.”

It was me & Meesh’s dine-out night, but we stayed home and had one of the boyfriend’s chili-cheese dogs and the fresh-fruit salad Meesh made. And Meesh hurried up and spanked the kitchen clean, so I wouldn’t see the mess the boyfriend made. This, after she’d put in a 10-hr shift.

Now, in addition to scrubbing the stove and mopping the kitchen floor earlier that day, I’d stripped down the bed in the guestroom, but I hadn’t put clean linens on it yet when the GD and her BFBF (Big Fecking Boy Friend) “had to” come back and stay another night, so I showed them where the linen cabinet is.

They slept on a bare mattress under a smelly sleeping bag. But they did grab our best pillows. Seems no one told them about pillow-cases, though.

Anyway, they stayed a 2nd night, and slept a whole lot better than I did, I'm sure. The next morning(-ish), BFBF called the repair shop and was given an estimate of $300 and told the work should take about 3 hours so they should go in before 1pm.

Well, they lost track of time, thanks to their phone’s gaming aps, and needed to stay another night, “Unless that shop is closed on Sundays. Then, we’ll need to stay until Monday….if that’s okay with you, of course.”

It wasn’t okay, and I told them why. I rattled off the list; her alcoholism, his abusiveness, their constant bickering, their laziness, slovenliness, short-term memory loss, and complete lack of consideration.

They act like they’re the only people on earth, and I’m not exaggerating.

I must have told BFBF a half-dozen times to shut the door quickly when going in and out of the house so the cats don’t get out, but e-v-e-r-y freaking time this guy stepped outside, he had to stand in the open doorway to tell my GD how stupid she is.

Pixel is the cat with epilepsy, and he takes medication on a strict schedule. He ran out twice, and what did they do? Chased him. So I ran after them screaming “DON’T CHASE HIM!!!” …and they yelled back at me all the reasons why they should. Absolute ignorance. They didn’t stop until I yelled “Well let me know when you’ve chased him to the main road, and I’ll go home and get a shovel.” And, of course, 3 minutes after they stopped chasing him, Pixel came home.

Fecking idiots.

I let them stay a 3rd night, but I laid into BFBF about his verbal abuse of my GD. She thinks she deserves it, but that’s just not happening here. I told him to keep his #$%^ mouth shut or he’d be sleeping on the sidewalk or in the Sac County Jail, my choice. Either way, no pillow. I also told him to stay out of my kitchen. They could eat what and when me and Michelle ate.

And I told my GD to lay off the booze and put a gotdam sheet on the freakin bed. She cried a litany of apologies and I love you’s, but I stopped buying into those a decade ago. And give me a break with the fake crying; you’ve lost your touch.

They left this morning, right after my GD did a load of laundry. Linens. She was already slurry and stupid from her medications and, no doubt, a vodka chaser, so I didn’t insist she make the bed up all fresh. And she didn’t.

She was an A student who graduated high-school with honors, a talented artist, and she was very pretty. (She was chosen to be the new Welch's grape juice girl when she was 7, but her Dad/my son got a job in another state, and she didn't want to stay behind.) She attended college, and quit, accepted at another, and quit, accepted at an art academy in Japan but just didn't go, and was expelled from a well-known Los Angeles acting school for her chronic drunkenness. After 2 DUIs and 2 wrecked cars, she completed 6 whole months of in-patient rehab. She immediately relapsed. She has severe pancreatitis and nearly died in a hospital from organ failure due to alcohol poisoning...twice. She's displaying definite signs of early dementia. She refuses meaningful help.

It breaks my heart.
 

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Murrmurr said:
Alcoholics can come up with several excuses reasons for requesting prescription medications for depression, anxiety, and tremors and ticks, and my 30-something granddaughter usually downs hers with vodka. While she stayed here the past few days, she only did that when she thought I was asleep or distracted or whatever.

She asked if she and her boyfriend could stay for one night, repeatedly emphasizing it would only be for one night, but, later, she tearful gave me one excuse reason after another for letting them stay just one more night; engine trouble, the cold, waiting for "someone" to drop off gas money. Meanwhile, their dishes and snack-trash had stacked up in the bedroom, the kitchen, and the family room. The boyfriend cooked dinner for everyone that 1st night, and they did leave the following morning(-ish), but I'd just finished scrubbing the range-top, because the dude didn’t even bother to wipe up splatters and shidt, when she called to ask if they could come back; her car was acting up.

Back they came, and I took her van for a short test-drive, and checked the fluids. I couldn’t figure out the problem, so I recommended they take it to an auto shop around the corner; they’ve always been honest with me and Michelle, and their prices are reasonable. I gave my GD a $100 bill to cover the diagnostic tests and told her to put the change in the gas tank. They bought hotdogs and buns, chili, shredded cheese, cookies, and a bottle of Smirnoff ICE instead. I mean, what car needs gas when it’s spending the night in a repair shop?...and anyway, “We don’t want to eat all your food, Grampa.”

It was me & Meesh’s dine-out night, but we stayed home and had one of the boyfriend’s chili-cheese dogs and the fresh-fruit salad Meesh made. And Meesh hurried up and spanked the kitchen clean, so I wouldn’t see the mess the boyfriend made. This, after she’d put in a 10-hr shift.

Now, in addition to scrubbing the stove and mopping the kitchen floor earlier that day, I’d stripped down the bed in the guestroom, but I hadn’t put clean linens on it yet when the GD and her BFBF (Big Fecking Boy Friend) “had to” come back and stay another night, so I showed them where the linen cabinet is.

They slept on a bare mattress under a smelly sleeping bag. But they did grab our best pillows. Seems no one told them about pillow-cases, though.

Anyway, they stayed a 2nd night, and slept a whole lot better than I did, I'm sure. The next morning(-ish), BFBF called the repair shop and was given an estimate of $300 and told the work should take about 3 hours so they should go in before 1pm.

Well, they lost track of time, thanks to their phone’s gaming aps, and needed to stay another night, “Unless that shop is closed on Sundays. Then, we’ll need to stay until Monday….if that’s okay with you, of course.”

It wasn’t okay, and I told them why. I rattled off the list; her alcoholism, his abusiveness, their constant bickering, their laziness, slovenliness, short-term memory loss, and complete lack of consideration.

They act like they’re the only people on earth, and I’m not exaggerating.

I must have told BFBF a half-dozen times to shut the door quickly when going in and out of the house so the cats don’t get out, but e-v-e-r-y freaking time this guy stepped outside, he had to stand in the open doorway to tell my GD how stupid she is.

Pixel is the cat with epilepsy, and he takes medication on a strict schedule. He ran out twice, and what did they do? Chased him. So I ran after them screaming “DON’T CHASE HIM!!!” …and they yelled back at me all the reasons why they should. Absolute ignorance. They didn’t stop until I yelled “Well let me know when you’ve chased him to the main road, and I’ll go home and get a shovel.” And, of course, 3 minutes after they stopped chasing him, Pixel came home.

Fecking idiots.

I let them stay a 3rd night, but I laid into BFBF about his verbal abuse of my GD. She thinks she deserves it, but that’s just not happening here. I told him to keep his #$%^ mouth shut or he’d be sleeping on the sidewalk or in the Sac County Jail, my choice. Either way, no pillow. I also told him to stay out of my kitchen. They could eat what and when me and Michelle ate.

And I told my GD to lay off the booze and put a gotdam sheet on the freakin bed. She cried a litany of apologies and I love you’s, but I stopped buying into those a decade ago. And give me a break with the fake crying; you’ve lost your touch.

They left this morning, right after my GD did a load of laundry. Linens. She was already slurry and stupid from her medications and, no doubt, a vodka chaser, so I didn’t insist she make the bed up all fresh. And she didn’t.

She was an A student who graduated high-school with honors, a talented artist, and she was very pretty. (She was chosen to be the new Welch's grape juice girl when she was 7, but her Dad/my son got a job in another state, and she didn't want to stay behind.) She attended college, and quit, accepted at another, and quit, accepted at an art academy in Japan but just didn't go, and was expelled from a well-known Los Angeles acting school for her chronic drunkenness. After 2 DUIs and 2 wrecked cars, she completed 6 whole months of in-patient rehab. She immediately relapsed. She has severe pancreatitis and nearly died in a hospital from organ failure due to alcohol poisoning...twice. She's displaying definite signs of early dementia. She refuses meaningful help.

It breaks my heart.
Click to expand...
Wow. It breaks my heart too. 😒
I always root for the underdog. Let's pray she gets on a better path. I know it makes you mad and sad at the same time.
 
Murrmurr said:
Alcoholics can come up with several excuses reasons for requesting prescription medications for depression, anxiety, and tremors and ticks, and my 30-something granddaughter usually downs hers with vodka. While she stayed here the past few days, she only did that when she thought I was asleep or distracted or whatever.

She asked if she and her boyfriend could stay for one night, repeatedly emphasizing it would only be for one night, but, later, she tearful gave me one excuse reason after another for letting them stay just one more night; engine trouble, the cold, waiting for "someone" to drop off gas money. Meanwhile, their dishes and snack-trash had stacked up in the bedroom, the kitchen, and the family room. The boyfriend cooked dinner for everyone that 1st night, and they did leave the following morning(-ish), but I'd just finished scrubbing the range-top, because the dude didn’t even bother to wipe up splatters and shidt, when she called to ask if they could come back; her car was acting up.

Back they came, and I took her van for a short test-drive, and checked the fluids. I couldn’t figure out the problem, so I recommended they take it to an auto shop around the corner; they’ve always been honest with me and Michelle, and their prices are reasonable. I gave my GD a $100 bill to cover the diagnostic tests and told her to put the change in the gas tank. They bought hotdogs and buns, chili, shredded cheese, cookies, and a bottle of Smirnoff ICE instead. I mean, what car needs gas when it’s spending the night in a repair shop?...and anyway, “We don’t want to eat all your food, Grampa.”

It was me & Meesh’s dine-out night, but we stayed home and had one of the boyfriend’s chili-cheese dogs and the fresh-fruit salad Meesh made. And Meesh hurried up and spanked the kitchen clean, so I wouldn’t see the mess the boyfriend made. This, after she’d put in a 10-hr shift.

Now, in addition to scrubbing the stove and mopping the kitchen floor earlier that day, I’d stripped down the bed in the guestroom, but I hadn’t put clean linens on it yet when the GD and her BFBF (Big Fecking Boy Friend) “had to” come back and stay another night, so I showed them where the linen cabinet is.

They slept on a bare mattress under a smelly sleeping bag. But they did grab our best pillows. Seems no one told them about pillow-cases, though.

Anyway, they stayed a 2nd night, and slept a whole lot better than I did, I'm sure. The next morning(-ish), BFBF called the repair shop and was given an estimate of $300 and told the work should take about 3 hours so they should go in before 1pm.

Well, they lost track of time, thanks to their phone’s gaming aps, and needed to stay another night, “Unless that shop is closed on Sundays. Then, we’ll need to stay until Monday….if that’s okay with you, of course.”

It wasn’t okay, and I told them why. I rattled off the list; her alcoholism, his abusiveness, their constant bickering, their laziness, slovenliness, short-term memory loss, and complete lack of consideration.

They act like they’re the only people on earth, and I’m not exaggerating.

I must have told BFBF a half-dozen times to shut the door quickly when going in and out of the house so the cats don’t get out, but e-v-e-r-y freaking time this guy stepped outside, he had to stand in the open doorway to tell my GD how stupid she is.

Pixel is the cat with epilepsy, and he takes medication on a strict schedule. He ran out twice, and what did they do? Chased him. So I ran after them screaming “DON’T CHASE HIM!!!” …and they yelled back at me all the reasons why they should. Absolute ignorance. They didn’t stop until I yelled “Well let me know when you’ve chased him to the main road, and I’ll go home and get a shovel.” And, of course, 3 minutes after they stopped chasing him, Pixel came home.

Fecking idiots.

I let them stay a 3rd night, but I laid into BFBF about his verbal abuse of my GD. She thinks she deserves it, but that’s just not happening here. I told him to keep his #$%^ mouth shut or he’d be sleeping on the sidewalk or in the Sac County Jail, my choice. Either way, no pillow. I also told him to stay out of my kitchen. They could eat what and when me and Michelle ate.

And I told my GD to lay off the booze and put a gotdam sheet on the freakin bed. She cried a litany of apologies and I love you’s, but I stopped buying into those a decade ago. And give me a break with the fake crying; you’ve lost your touch.

They left this morning, right after my GD did a load of laundry. Linens. She was already slurry and stupid from her medications and, no doubt, a vodka chaser, so I didn’t insist she make the bed up all fresh. And she didn’t.

She was an A student who graduated high-school with honors, a talented artist, and she was very pretty. (She was chosen to be the new Welch's grape juice girl when she was 7, but her Dad/my son got a job in another state, and she didn't want to stay behind.) She attended college, and quit, accepted at another, and quit, accepted at an art academy in Japan but just didn't go, and was expelled from a well-known Los Angeles acting school for her chronic drunkenness. After 2 DUIs and 2 wrecked cars, she completed 6 whole months of in-patient rehab. She immediately relapsed. She has severe pancreatitis and nearly died in a hospital from organ failure due to alcohol poisoning...twice. She's displaying definite signs of early dementia. She refuses meaningful help.

It breaks my heart.
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It is heartbreaking and even more so as she is your granddaughter.

I hope you don't mind my saying this @Murrmurr but, what about you and Mish? You both seem such caring people and you have been through a lot over recent years and now, you are going through the pain of trying to help someone who, sadly, has health and addiction issues. You have been here before, you know that you can only really help someone who also wants to help themselves.

None of my business really but, when I read your post, it seemed to me that you always put other people first which is, of course admirable but, who takes care of you and Mish? When do you two have a chance to just sit back, stop worrying, have fun and enjoy some peace?
 
Trish said:
It is heartbreaking and even more so as she is your granddaughter.

I hope you don't mind my saying this @Murrmurr but, what about you and Mish? You both seem such caring people and you have been through a lot over recent years and now, you are going through the pain of trying to help someone who, sadly, has health and addiction issues. You have been here before, you know that you can only really help someone who also wants to help themselves.

None of my business really but, when I read your post, it seemed to me that you always put other people first which is, of course admirable but, who takes care of you and Mish? When do you two have a chance to just sit back, stop worrying, have fun and enjoy some peace?
Click to expand...
Michelle and I take care of each other, but you probly know there's an 18yr difference, so I worry about how Michelle's going to be after I'm gone. She'll have everything she needs...all the basics, the house and everything in it, a nice car and some money, and she has a great job. But she cries really hard when I talk about that kind of stuff...like she loves me too much, and that worries me. I know she'll be fine, though.
 
Murrmurr said:
Michelle and I take care of each other, but you probly know there's an 18yr difference, so I worry about how Michelle's going to be after I'm gone. She'll have everything she needs...all the basics, the house and everything in it, a nice car and some money, and she has a great job. But she cries really hard when I talk about that kind of stuff...like she loves me too much, and that worries me. I know she'll be fine, though.
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You two have a great relationship. :)
 
Pepper said:
Oh Frank I’m so sorry to hear about your GD. What role does your son play in her life? How can this not break your heart? However IMO You handled situation as well as possible.
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Her dad paid for the rehab. Over $25K. He also bought her car and covers the insurance, he and his wife have gifts for her every Christmas, and they're taking care of her cat. But he's fed up with her. They've talked things out a dozen times over the past 5 years or so, but she only wants help getting things, not for treating her addictions. That's why she came here to stay for a while.

Also, Liam's ready to kick the BFBF's arse. And he could do it...he's a large man, very strong, and knows how to land 'em.
 
Murrmurr said:
Her dad paid for the rehab. Over $25K. He also bought her car and covers the insurance, he and his wife have gifts for her every Christmas, and they're taking care of her cat. But he's fed up with her. They've talked things out a dozen times over the past 5 years or so, but she only wants help getting things, not for treating her addictions. That's why she came here to stay for a while.

Also, Liam's ready to kick the BFBF's arse. And he could do it...he's a large man, very strong, and knows how to land 'em.
Click to expand...

Someone I know didn't reach out for help until she was living in a pup tent with no friends left.
 
Pinky said:
Bless your heart. You were certainly put in a difficult position.
It must tear your heart out, to see what has become of your grand-daughter.
Such a sad situation.
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I hate having to do straight-talk with her, if you know what I mean, but I'm certainly not going to coddle her and she ignores advice. She's doing this to herself and she knows it. She also knows that in-patient medically-supported rehab is her only option now, and it's a tough one.
 
Babs2u said:
Someone I know didn't reach out for help until she was living in a pup tent with no friends left.
Click to expand...
The GD and BFBF were evicted from their apartment 4 months ago and moved in with his mother. She tossed them out a few days ago, which is why they came here "for just one night." They both work, but part-time. They're now living in her van until their name reaches the top of a low-income housing wait-list.
 
Tough spot, Frank. I'm glad you told them what's on your mind. That would be a lot of stress to hold on to.
It hurts, but your GD picks her own road. No one else can do it for her.
If I were in your shoes, I would not offer her help anymore. She will find the bottom anyway.
I may sound cruel, but I've seen too many good people taken advantage of by family members, including my own or my wifes' family.
 
stretch5881 said:
Tough spot, Frank. I'm glad you told them what's on your mind. That would be a lot of stress to hold on to.
It hurts, but your GD picks her own road. No one else can do it for her.
If I were in your shoes, I would not offer her help anymore. She will find the bottom anyway.
I may sound cruel, but I've seen too many good people taken advantage of by family members, including my own or my wifes' family.
Click to expand...
I went through this with my baby sister, Bonny (17 years younger than me), who was addicted to meth, then heroin for a couple years, then meth, then fentanyl for a few years, and back to meth. And to numb her shame, she used alcohol and weed the whole time.

Bonny was a cute as hell, petite little pixie, funny, quick, and a very loyal friend. She was also a thief, a chronic liar, and a master manipulator. She lost her teeth at age 40 when her meth use dissolved her jaw bones. Her addictions gave her Lupus, Rheumatoid Arthritis, COPD, chronic gastrointestinal issues, and a life of utter chaos.

At age 52, Bonny was diagnosed with lung cancer, and a couple months later, doctors discovered the cancer had metastasized to her brain. They tried chemo and all that, but it was too far gone. Last year, she came to stay with me and my wife for hospice, and died within a week. She was 53.

It was a horrible death. I watched her die horribly, screaming, begging, cussing, apologizing. I think that was shame, guilt, a lot of regret, and immense fear; fear of punishment for all her sins, for failing her 3 sons and her grandchildren, and for shidding on her parents and siblings...all the people who loved her and tried to help her.

I am not going to go through that with my granddaughter, and I'm sure not going to ask my wife to be a part of it again.

But her dad (my son) will do it, if she's fortunate enough to be in medical care when that time comes. I know what he would be going through, and that it would be far worse for him because this is his daughter, not a sister.
 
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Jules said:
This is the last thing you need right now, Frank. Good thing you’re not a sucker about letting them stay and told them what they needed to hear, even if they didn’t listen.
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They only hear their own heads, you know what I mean? They don't even hear each other (probly why they bicker almost constantly), so their life together never gets better, only worse.
 
Murrmurr said:
I went through this with my baby sister, Bonny (17 years younger than me), who was addicted to meth, then heroin for a couple years, then meth, then fentanyl for a few years, and back to meth. And to numb her shame, she used alcohol and weed the whole time.

Bonny was a cute as hell, petite little pixie, funny, quick, and a very loyal friend. She was also a thief, a chronic liar, and a master manipulator. She lost her teeth at age 40 when her meth use dissolved her jaw bones. Her addictions gave her Lupus, Rheumatoid Arthritis, COPD, chronic gastrointestinal issues, and a life of utter chaos.

At age 50, Bonny was diagnosed with lung cancer, and a couple months later, doctors discovered the cancer had metastasized to her brain. They tried chemo and all that, but it was too far gone. Last year, she came to stay with me and my wife for hospice, and died within a week. She was 51.

It was a horrible death. I watched her die horribly, screaming, begging, cussing, apologizing. I think that was shame, guilt, a lot of regret, and immense fear; fear of punishment for all her sins, for failing her 3 sons and her grandchildren, and for shidding on her parents and siblings...all the people who loved her and tried to help her.

I am not going to go through that with my granddaughter, and I'm sure not going to ask my wife to be a part of it again.

But her dad (my son) will do it, if she's fortunate enough to be in medical care when that time comes. I know what he would be going through, and that it would be far worse for him, because this is his daughter, not a sister.
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You and your wife are saints!!!
 
stretch5881 said:
You and your wife are saints!!!
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I honestly believe most people would do the same, especially if there's room in their house and they're reasonably secure financially or have a steady income. But I totally get it when people say they wouldn't do it even if you paid them. Long-term addiction turns people into monsters. Drugs is their #1 priority, and they'll screw over just about anybody to keep themselves supplied, including their own kids. That's hard to forgive, and for some, it's impossible. That isn't unreasonable.

I loved my little sister; I hated her addiction. I feel good that I could separate the two. And I'm extremely proud of my wife for understanding, for being supportive, being my back-up, and for taking care of me so I could take care of Bonny.
She's the saint, imo.
 
Murrmurr said:
I honestly believe most people would do the same, especially if there's room in their house and they're reasonably secure financially or have a steady income. But I totally get it when people say they wouldn't do it even if you paid them. Long-term addiction turns people into monsters. Drugs is their #1 priority, and they'll screw over just about anybody to keep themselves supplied, including their own kids. That's hard to forgive, and for some, it's impossible. That isn't unreasonable.

I loved my little sister; I hated her addiction. I feel good that I could separate the two. And I'm extremely proud of my wife for understanding, for being supportive, being my back-up, and for taking care of me so I could take care of Bonny.
She's the saint, imo.
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When the inevitable happens you will know that you did your best to help her.
 
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