Noticing that people treat me different now that I am older.

@GeorgiaXplant -what? Who are you “talking to”? I’m confused-must be my age 😂. But it can’t be me you are speaking to cause I am not depressed. I did not think I was depressed and I saw my doctor a couple days ago and she said “you look, better than I thought you would”.

Well, alrighty then. 😂.

Then she ordered blood tests, then she gave me the results. Apparently I look better than I am. 😮. Anyway, I have no ideal what you last paragraph means. Who do you think is depressed and why?
 

Aneeda72 said:
@GeorgiaXplant -what? Who are you “talking to”? I’m confused-must be my age 😂. But it can’t be me you are speaking to cause I am not depressed. I did not think I was depressed and I saw my doctor a couple days ago and she said “you look, better than I thought you would”.

Well, alrighty then. 😂.

Then she ordered blood tests, then she gave me the results. Apparently I look better than I am. 😮. Anyway, I have no ideal what you last paragraph means. Who do you think is depressed and why?
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No no! Not you, the OP. She also sounds defensive, like "I dare you to treat me like I imagine old people get treated."
 
Happens to me all the time for the last couple of years....I'm much slower now, can't hear as good and lose most of my voice during the day so if they're hearing and seeing an old timer here, they got it right.....but the respect factor is very low from everyone younger than me :(
 

So far at least I haven't noticed a lack of respect. If I'm out and about somewhere and having a problem lifting something or finding something, I'm not too proud to ask for help. People (again, so far!) have been willing to lend a hand. If I see somebody else having a hard time wrestling merchandise or not able to reach it or whatever, I offer to help if I can and hope Karma will remember when it's my turn...
 
GeorgiaXplant said:
So far at least I haven't noticed a lack of respect. If I'm out and about somewhere and having a problem lifting something or finding something, I'm not too proud to ask for help. People (again, so far!) have been willing to lend a hand. If I see somebody else having a hard time wrestling merchandise or not able to reach it or whatever, I offer to help if I can and hope Karma will remember when it's my turn...
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Me too
 
I am old. At 77 and 3/4 years old, the face in the mirror is definitely not that of someone young but my eyes (newly renovated) show that the brain is still active and energetic. I appreciate helpful gestures such as asking if I can manage the grocery bags (I can, thanks to two shoulder replacements) and people giving up their seat on the train so that I don't have to tackle the stairs.

When I was in my salad days I would give up my seat for older people, pregnant women and the disabled as a matter of courtesy but back then I did not understand the effect of chronic pain. I do now, having endured it for several years before my various joint replacements and I am grateful for the considerate people who offer courtesy to me now.

As for the doctors, I still attend by myself so there is no doubt about my mental acuity. Years ago I would take my MIL to her specialist appointments and I well remember a visit to a surgeon to discuss treatment options for a cancer in her bowel. I listened to all of the options and at the end of the consultation he turned to MIL and asked her what she was thinking. "Well doctor", she said, "you must always look after your eyes". Doctors must get quite a few patients like that so I don't blame them if they talk to the person they think is most likely to understand what they say.

I also escorted my maiden aunt to her doctor visits. She was frail and needed my help but she was also rather deaf and in denial - no hearing aids. I was her ears and I remember one visit where the doctor was speaking to her normally and I tipped him off to the problem by letting him know that she was " a bit Mutt and Jeff". He spoke up but even so, she needed me to tell her later what he had said. Again, they must have quite a few patients like Auntie.

When the doctors start talking over my head it will be to my daughter who is a nurse. When that day comes, I don't think I will mind too much.
 
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No, nobody treats me any different due to my age. People are helpful to me when I am out due to me using a walker or a mobility chair. What annoys me is that my boyfriend's daughter treats him and me like she knows how to do everything and we don't know a thing. She tries to take over. It is fine doing it for her father but not me.
 
katlupe said:
No, nobody treats me any different due to my age. People are helpful to me when I am out due to me using a walker or a mobility chair. What annoys me is that my boyfriend's daughter treats him and me like she knows how to do everything and we don't know a thing. She tries to take over. It is fine doing it for her father but not me.
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You need to tell her , thank you for your help I appreciate it , and the time may come when I'll be grateful for it , but I'd rather do it for myself, use it or lose it....
 
hollydolly said:
oddly I don't mind being given those names as long as the person is older than me... it really rankles when I get a teenager saying it... :rolleyes:
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Well, that’s it, a twenty year old nursing assistant acting like an idiot. I once had one of them holding my hand and stroking my skin saying repeatedly how soft it was. 🤮. She had gloves on, she could not feel my skin. (I was having a minor procedure.)

Thank heaven there was another nurses aide in the room. I was getting nervous for my virginity. 😂
 
DaveA said:
We have the same situation. Our daughter takes my wife to her doctor appointments and she is the "go to" person for the doc to call. My wife requested that the doctor speak with and to her as neither I (at 86) or my wife (at 84) can remember half of what he has said by the time we reach home.

She's far more computer savvy than either of us and interacts far better with the medical personnel. Our brains still (seem to) work but the memory portions are slipping away. 😦
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I think it's always good no matter what your age, to have another person with you. Sometimes they will ask questions that you may not have thought to ask and you can compare notes afterwards on the remembered conversation and/or instructions.
 
Warrigal said:
I am old. At 77 and 3/4 years old, the face in the mirror is definitely not that of someone young but my eyes (newly renovated) show that the brain is still active and energetic. I appreciate helpful gestures such as asking if I can manage the grocery bags (I can, thanks to two shoulder replacements) and people giving up their seat on the train so that I don't have to tackle the stairs.
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If I'm being too personal, please let me know.

How long was the rehab time after shoulder replacements before you could resume normal activities? I assume that you didn't have both procedures done at the same time? Did you require a support system such as family members to help you through rehab? Thanks.
 
My mom was a hoot. She didn't want any "pat your knee and talk baby talk to you docs." She picked the "tell it like it is" ones. She was legally blind, but didn't show it, and if someone talked loud to her she'd say, "hey, I may be blind, but I can HEAR just fine, so dial it down, "ya hear"? If you do that once, trust me, they won't make the same mistake again and they'll pay attention to you...lol.

She also used to reply to the inane question "are you over 21" for a medical or legal matter with the reply "actually I'm only 18, but I've had a very hard life." She never seemed old, and was sharp as a tack mentally.
 
As the years have spun by, adults of other ages have treated me differently.
In my youth, they bossed me assumed I could do little for myself.
In my mid-late teens, they feared the power of the huge Baby Boom generation, and assumed I was looking for trouble.
In my 20s-40s they hit on me, envied my youth, and reminisced about their own.
In my 50s they respected me.
In my 60s I've noticed that I'm often invisible.

I've always used Honey or Sweetie for kind strangers as well as people I love, and do so with absolute sincerety. "Thank you for opening that door for me, Honey!" I've never had anyone call me out on it, nor does it insult me to be called by it when it's used as a term of endearment.

I'm not talking about the times when men use it dismissively or to assert their power over women. "Get everyone a round of coffee, would you, Honey?" when I was the only female, but on the same managerial level as everyone else in the meeting. In those cases I learned to smile sweetly and say, "Sure will, Sweetie, if you'll come along and lend me a hand."

When my mom and FIL were unable to go to manage doctor & dental appointments on their own, DH and/or I would accompany them. They were relieved to have another set of ears and eyes to interpret the advice being given. If I live long enough, my own body will undoubtedly deteriorate to the point where I will also be grateful to have one of my children or children-in-law perform that loving service for me.

GeorgiaXplant said:
No need to holler before you're hurt.
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I never heard this expression before, but it's sure a good one!
 
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Liberty said:
My mom was a hoot. She didn't want any "pat your knee and talk baby talk to you docs." She picked the "tell it like it is" ones. She was legally blind, but didn't show it, and if someone talked loud to her she'd say, "hey, I may be blind, but I can HEAR just fine, so dial it down, "ya hear"? If you do that once, trust me, they won't make the same mistake again and they'll pay attention to you...lol.

She also used to reply to the inane question "are you over 21" for a medical or legal matter with the reply "actually I'm only 18, but I've had a very hard life." She never seemed old, and was sharp as a tack mentally.
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Now that you mention it, I do remember calling out some nurse's aides who infantilized my mother with questions like whether she'd made poop that day. I'd pointedly tell them she knew what a bowel movement was. Even at her most confused, she understood the proper words for bodily functions.
 

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