Old Flame Calling?

Duster

Duster

Member
Location
Deep South, US
I've been getting calls everyday from someone who hangs up after hearing me say, "Hello?". At first I thought it was a blocked telemarketer who got the phone to ring anyway. The caller I.D. usually doesn't know who's calling, just a local number. One day I looked at the I.D. before the caller hung up and it said the name of an old boyfriend of mine. This was someone I dated as a 16 year old and broke up with him for dating a friend of mine, when we were supposed to be exclusive.
Anyway I found out that he was stalking me when I was going on dates with other guys. He once worked at a company where my husband worked. My husband was the old boyfriend's boss. I haven't seen this person in about 40 years.

This behavior kinda freaks me out. If he wants to talk to, why not just speak? I don't have any idea if he knows about my illness or not. Rumors spread in small towns. I haven't mentioned it to my husband. He has enough on his mind. Do you think I should tell my husband about this creepy behavior?

I don't think the ex is a danger to me, but have heard that he was a drug addict a few years ago. Way back when, he called me up and tried to talk me out of marrying my husband. This was after the engagement was announced in the local paper. Right after we married, the ex married a girl who looked very much like me. This was platonic puppy love at the most between myself and this guy. At 16 & 17 nobody was making long range plans.

The whole thing strikes me as strange. I need your collective wisdom. Should I block his number if it shows up again? He could find out where I live, but I stay home most of the time and never go anywhere without my husband. I'm not supposed to drive for the next few months. I don't need this, considering the complications my life has taken on. Please tell me what you would do in this situation?
 

Yes I would tell your husband about this creepy behaviour. I refuse to answer any calls who don’t disclose their identity, especially these days. There are all kinds of scammers but if this person has a history of stalking, even if nothing became of it, I think it’s in your best interest to disclose this information to your husband. He deserves to know and you deserve his protection.
 

Without a doubt, tell your husband!

When I met my wife, a girl that I'd been seeing off and on, wanted to keep seeing me. I told her straight up, on the phone, "I can't see you anymore. I've met a lady that, hopefully, I intend on marrying. Yes, she is the one!" I could tell the girl didn't like what she heard, but...........oh well. I had told my fiancé about the girl and she was extremely glad that I wouldn't see her anymore.
 
There are NO secrets in a marriage. Best off to tell your husband. "What if" he continues on and sends you flowers or whatever his next move may be and then you tell your husband your suspicions and why and what would his response be? "Why didn't you tell me back when this started? Why were you keeping it a secret?"

Next time you get an anonymous call, dial *69 for the old call back and find out who picks up. If it's him, you may want to file a complaint with your local police. Telephone stalking is a crime also. (Here in PA it is.)
 
Last edited:
applecruncher said:
It's *69

I wouldn't bother doing research on him. Definitely tell your husband NOW. This is creepy harassment. Most likely he has watched/observed you. I'd make a police report just for the record.
Click to expand...
Thanks for the correction. Sometimes I get in a hurry.
 
Since it was unanimous and all of you are so wise, I took your advice and told my husband about the matter today. He also thought the man was acting oddly, considering we haven't seen or spoken to him in more than 40 years.

I also took Jules advice to try and look up information about the ex, but didn't have any luck finding anything. I'm not on Facebook or Twitter, so no one has seen me there.

I'm not going to answer the phone unless it's someone I know or I'm expecting a call.

Since I've been so much better lately, my husband has been doing more away from home. He appreciated knowing about it. I won't be answering the door when I'm home alone, either.

I have neighbors close by who would come over in a heartbeat if I called them. They're wonderful neighbors and friends.

Thank all of you for the sound advice. Another opinion is always welcomed.
 
I've never been troubled by ex's getting in touch but did once go to the police to show them nuisance texts I'd been receiving from someone, and they were sympathetic, plus when I told the person concerned by text the police's opinion the nuisance texts then ceased.

I hope if you're troubled again, this piece of info comes to mind, even if you don't trouble the police yourself, (you could suggest the police were interested somehow perhaps).
 

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