jujube
SF VIP
How to tell if your cat really tied one on last night:
OMG. I understand cat.
- Thread starter fuzzybuddy
- Start date
Absolutely. How can anyone love England yet hate a cat?
My profile pic is my older kitty. She has senior moments sometimes. They annoy me. But I love her. She eats well, is happy, has great quality of life (or as good as I can give her!). She and my younger senior kitty are the ones I am living for these days.
fureverywhere
beloved friend who will always be with us in spiri
- Location
- Northern NJ, USA
:love_heart:Guitarist, that video was precious:love_heart:
I realize although I'd give my life for my pups, genetically I will always be a cat person. It's hard to explain. I mean Planet Dog is such foreign territory...even ten years later it can be mystifying. Why at certain times of the day they face certain windows and make blood curdling sounds, while wagging their tails. Why they see the same neighbor day in and day out. But I still have to put Callie in a headlock and drag him away...he doesn't see just a harmless old lady humping groceries? Dogs are weird, I've lived with a cat forever, cats I totally get
I realize although I'd give my life for my pups, genetically I will always be a cat person. It's hard to explain. I mean Planet Dog is such foreign territory...even ten years later it can be mystifying. Why at certain times of the day they face certain windows and make blood curdling sounds, while wagging their tails. Why they see the same neighbor day in and day out. But I still have to put Callie in a headlock and drag him away...he doesn't see just a harmless old lady humping groceries? Dogs are weird, I've lived with a cat forever, cats I totally get
jujube
SF VIP
Fur, here's some dog haiku (please excuse the fact that the lines aren't 5-7-5.....dogs can't count past 4):
Oh, look! It's the mailman!
He's here to kill us all!
Arf-arf-arf-arf-arf-arf!
Oh, look! It's the meter reader!
He's here to kill us all!
Arf-arf-arf-arf-arf-arf.
Oh, look! It's a paper bag!
It's here to kill us all!
Arf-arf-arf-arf-arf-arf!
Oh, look! It's the mailman!
He's here to kill us all!
Arf-arf-arf-arf-arf-arf!
Oh, look! It's the meter reader!
He's here to kill us all!
Arf-arf-arf-arf-arf-arf.
Oh, look! It's a paper bag!
It's here to kill us all!
Arf-arf-arf-arf-arf-arf!
SifuPhil
R.I.P. With Us In Spirit Only
- Location
- Pennsylvania, USA
:lol1:
SifuPhil
R.I.P. With Us In Spirit Only
- Location
- Pennsylvania, USA
And of course the corresponding cat haiku ...
You say you feel bad?
That you'll be dead by winter?
I don't really care.
You're short on money?
You say this month's rent is late?
I don't really care.
You're on the laptop?
Let me park my butt right here.
I don't really care.
You say you feel bad?
That you'll be dead by winter?
I don't really care.
You're short on money?
You say this month's rent is late?
I don't really care.
You're on the laptop?
Let me park my butt right here.
I don't really care.
fureverywhere
beloved friend who will always be with us in spiri
- Location
- Northern NJ, USA
Hubby often says it's time to put the cats out on the corner, they can earn their own food.
SifuPhil
R.I.P. With Us In Spirit Only
- Location
- Pennsylvania, USA
LOL!
Just a coincidence that a cat is playing a violin that has bowstrings that are made of ...
... oh, never mind.
Just a coincidence that a cat is playing a violin that has bowstrings that are made of ...
... oh, never mind.
Anglophile
Member
- Location
- South of England....Arundel
Not as cruel as killing me for sure and wrecking my house. He has been my buddy for 15 years a stray who has had a good life from me. So if I do not shoot him how about if I drop him down the well
I had a dog when I was a kid, one of those shaggy mongrels. He really was my best mate and more. My Step-Dad put him in a sack with a brick and dropped him in the river and I went ruddy bonkers. Then I had a naff childhood anyway.
This may have been posted in past ,anyway here it is again for ALL CAT SERVANTS
Rules for Cats Who Have a House to Run
Doors do not allow closed doors in any room. To get door opened, stand on hind legs and hammer with forepaws, once door is opened, it is not necessary to use it.
After you have ordered an outside door opened, stand halfway in and out and think about several things, this is particularly important during very cold weather, rain or mosquito season.
Chairs and Rugs, If you have to throw up, get to a chair quickly, If you cannot manage in time, get to an oriental rug, if there is no oriental rug, shag carpet is good. When throwing up on carpet make sure you back up so that is a long as a human’s bare foot.
Bathrooms always accompany guests to the bathroom, it is not necessary to do anything, just sit and stare.
Hampering if one of your humans is engaged in some close activity, and the other is idle stay with the busy one, this is called ‘helping’ otherwise known as “hampering”
Following are the rules for hampering
1. When supervising cooking, sit just behind the left heel of cook, you cannot be seen and thereby stand a better chance of being stepped on and then picked up and comforted.
2. for book readers get in close under the chin, between eyes and book, unless you can lie across the book itself.
3. For knitting projects or paper work, lie on the work in the most appropriate manner so as to obscure as much of the work or at least the most important parts, pretend to doze, but every so often reach out and slap the pencil or knitting needles, remember the worker may try to distract you, ignore it.
Remember, the aim is to hamper work; embroidery and needlework make great hammocks in spite of what humans tell you.
4. For people paying bills or working on income taxes or Christmas cards, keep in mind the aim to hamper! First sit on the paper being worked on, when dislodged, watch sadly from the side of table. When activity proceeds nicely, roll around on the papers, scattering them to the best of your ability. After being removed for the second time, push pens pencils and erasers off the table one at a time.
5. When a human is holding the newspaper in front of them be sure to jump on the back of paper, they love to jump.
6.
Walking, as often as possible dart quickly and as close as possible in front of the human, especially on stairs, when they have something in their arms, in the dark and when they first get up in the morning, this will help their coordination skills.
7. Bedtime, always sleep on the human so s/he cannot move around.
8. Guests. Check human house guests carefully to detect who might have an allergy the more allergic the houseguest, the closer you should stay. This will shorten the stay of the allergic human house guest and your owner can spend more time with you, as they should have been doing in the first place.
If the human houseguest has bought a guest- pet be as rude as possible, hissing in an audible tone, this will let the guest-pet know s/he has been noticed and is unappreciated.
9. Singing. Always schedule your performances between 2-3 in the morning, so as to have the full attention of everyone in the household.
10. Guilt. Cats have no guilt, Guilt in owners equals treats for kitty, Guilt can be invoked in many ways, such as, giving your owner a pathetic look when he/she returns from work related travel, or after your owner has shouted at you for having practiced an exercise in hampering.
11. Fur, carefully examine and take note of the color of your coat, your goal is to find contrast between your fur and a humans wardrobe, black is especially good as all cat fur go’s well black, If you have dark fur frolic on the light carpet and furniture. This rule also applies to fur balls always deposit a hairball where it will leave a lasting impression. Never leave a hairball on a tiled surface where it is easily cleaned away.
Rules for Cats Who Have a House to Run
Doors do not allow closed doors in any room. To get door opened, stand on hind legs and hammer with forepaws, once door is opened, it is not necessary to use it.
After you have ordered an outside door opened, stand halfway in and out and think about several things, this is particularly important during very cold weather, rain or mosquito season.
Chairs and Rugs, If you have to throw up, get to a chair quickly, If you cannot manage in time, get to an oriental rug, if there is no oriental rug, shag carpet is good. When throwing up on carpet make sure you back up so that is a long as a human’s bare foot.
Bathrooms always accompany guests to the bathroom, it is not necessary to do anything, just sit and stare.
Hampering if one of your humans is engaged in some close activity, and the other is idle stay with the busy one, this is called ‘helping’ otherwise known as “hampering”
Following are the rules for hampering
1. When supervising cooking, sit just behind the left heel of cook, you cannot be seen and thereby stand a better chance of being stepped on and then picked up and comforted.
2. for book readers get in close under the chin, between eyes and book, unless you can lie across the book itself.
3. For knitting projects or paper work, lie on the work in the most appropriate manner so as to obscure as much of the work or at least the most important parts, pretend to doze, but every so often reach out and slap the pencil or knitting needles, remember the worker may try to distract you, ignore it.
Remember, the aim is to hamper work; embroidery and needlework make great hammocks in spite of what humans tell you.
4. For people paying bills or working on income taxes or Christmas cards, keep in mind the aim to hamper! First sit on the paper being worked on, when dislodged, watch sadly from the side of table. When activity proceeds nicely, roll around on the papers, scattering them to the best of your ability. After being removed for the second time, push pens pencils and erasers off the table one at a time.
5. When a human is holding the newspaper in front of them be sure to jump on the back of paper, they love to jump.
6.
Walking, as often as possible dart quickly and as close as possible in front of the human, especially on stairs, when they have something in their arms, in the dark and when they first get up in the morning, this will help their coordination skills.
7. Bedtime, always sleep on the human so s/he cannot move around.
8. Guests. Check human house guests carefully to detect who might have an allergy the more allergic the houseguest, the closer you should stay. This will shorten the stay of the allergic human house guest and your owner can spend more time with you, as they should have been doing in the first place.
If the human houseguest has bought a guest- pet be as rude as possible, hissing in an audible tone, this will let the guest-pet know s/he has been noticed and is unappreciated.
9. Singing. Always schedule your performances between 2-3 in the morning, so as to have the full attention of everyone in the household.
10. Guilt. Cats have no guilt, Guilt in owners equals treats for kitty, Guilt can be invoked in many ways, such as, giving your owner a pathetic look when he/she returns from work related travel, or after your owner has shouted at you for having practiced an exercise in hampering.
11. Fur, carefully examine and take note of the color of your coat, your goal is to find contrast between your fur and a humans wardrobe, black is especially good as all cat fur go’s well black, If you have dark fur frolic on the light carpet and furniture. This rule also applies to fur balls always deposit a hairball where it will leave a lasting impression. Never leave a hairball on a tiled surface where it is easily cleaned away.
fureverywhere
beloved friend who will always be with us in spiri
- Location
- Northern NJ, USA
11. Fur, carefully examine and take note of the color of your coat, your goal is to find contrast between your fur and a humans wardrobe, black is especially good as all cat fur go’s well black, If you have dark fur frolic on the light carpet and furniture. This rule also applies to fur balls always deposit a hairball where it will leave a lasting impression. Never leave a hairball on a tiled surface where it is easily cleaned away.
So that's how they do it? We have several tuxedo cats. I always felt they knew how to shoot contrasting fur at will. Now I know.
So that's how they do it? We have several tuxedo cats. I always felt they knew how to shoot contrasting fur at will. Now I know.
This may have been posted in past ,anyway here it is again for ALL CAT SERVANTS
Rules for Cats Who Have a House to Run
Doors do not allow closed doors in any room. To get door opened, stand on hind legs and hammer with forepaws, once door is opened, it is not necessary to use it.
After you have ordered an outside door opened, stand halfway in and out and think about several things, this is particularly important during very cold weather, rain or mosquito season.
Chairs and Rugs, If you have to throw up, get to a chair quickly, If you cannot manage in time, get to an oriental rug, if there is no oriental rug, shag carpet is good. When throwing up on carpet make sure you back up so that is a long as a human’s bare foot.
Bathrooms always accompany guests to the bathroom, it is not necessary to do anything, just sit and stare.
Hampering if one of your humans is engaged in some close activity, and the other is idle stay with the busy one, this is called ‘helping’ otherwise known as “hampering”
Following are the rules for hampering
1. When supervising cooking, sit just behind the left heel of cook, you cannot be seen and thereby stand a better chance of being stepped on and then picked up and comforted.
2. for book readers get in close under the chin, between eyes and book, unless you can lie across the book itself.
3. For knitting projects or paper work, lie on the work in the most appropriate manner so as to obscure as much of the work or at least the most important parts, pretend to doze, but every so often reach out and slap the pencil or knitting needles, remember the worker may try to distract you, ignore it.
Remember, the aim is to hamper work; embroidery and needlework make great hammocks in spite of what humans tell you.
4. For people paying bills or working on income taxes or Christmas cards, keep in mind the aim to hamper! First sit on the paper being worked on, when dislodged, watch sadly from the side of table. When activity proceeds nicely, roll around on the papers, scattering them to the best of your ability. After being removed for the second time, push pens pencils and erasers off the table one at a time.
5. When a human is holding the newspaper in front of them be sure to jump on the back of paper, they love to jump.
6.
Walking, as often as possible dart quickly and as close as possible in front of the human, especially on stairs, when they have something in their arms, in the dark and when they first get up in the morning, this will help their coordination skills.
7. Bedtime, always sleep on the human so s/he cannot move around.
8. Guests. Check human house guests carefully to detect who might have an allergy the more allergic the houseguest, the closer you should stay. This will shorten the stay of the allergic human house guest and your owner can spend more time with you, as they should have been doing in the first place.
If the human houseguest has bought a guest- pet be as rude as possible, hissing in an audible tone, this will let the guest-pet know s/he has been noticed and is unappreciated.
9. Singing. Always schedule your performances between 2-3 in the morning, so as to have the full attention of everyone in the household.
10. Guilt. Cats have no guilt, Guilt in owners equals treats for kitty, Guilt can be invoked in many ways, such as, giving your owner a pathetic look when he/she returns from work related travel, or after your owner has shouted at you for having practiced an exercise in hampering.
11. Fur, carefully examine and take note of the color of your coat, your goal is to find contrast between your fur and a humans wardrobe, black is especially good as all cat fur go’s well black, If you have dark fur frolic on the light carpet and furniture. This rule also applies to fur balls always deposit a hairball where it will leave a lasting impression. Never leave a hairball on a tiled surface where it is easily cleaned away.
:lol: Thanks for the chuckles Kadee!
fureverywhere
beloved friend who will always be with us in spiri
- Location
- Northern NJ, USA
Oh, look! It's the mailman!
He's here to kill us all!
Arf-arf-arf-arf-arf-arf!
Oh, look! It's the meter reader!
He's here to kill us all!
Arf-arf-arf-arf-arf-arf.
Oh, look! It's a paper bag!
It's here to kill us all!
Arf-arf-arf-arf-arf-arf!
Thank you jujube I missed this...Yes that is Sophie, "Oh look! It's a shadow!
It's Here to kill us all! GRRRBARKBARKBARKGRRRRRBARKBARKKKGRRRR
He's here to kill us all!
Arf-arf-arf-arf-arf-arf!
Oh, look! It's the meter reader!
He's here to kill us all!
Arf-arf-arf-arf-arf-arf.
Oh, look! It's a paper bag!
It's here to kill us all!
Arf-arf-arf-arf-arf-arf!
Thank you jujube I missed this...Yes that is Sophie, "Oh look! It's a shadow!
It's Here to kill us all! GRRRBARKBARKBARKGRRRRRBARKBARKKKGRRRR
fureverywhere
beloved friend who will always be with us in spiri
- Location
- Northern NJ, USA
Dogs are weird indeed, like the typical human, cat's know us and know the pups. Yup time we bow to the kits.
Where's that ROTFLMAO smiley when I need it?
Not as cruel as killing me for sure and wrecking my house. He has been my buddy for 15 years a stray who has had a good life from me. So if I do not shoot him how about if I drop him down the well
I had a dog when I was a kid, one of those shaggy mongrels. He really was my best mate and more. My Step-Dad put him in a sack with a brick and dropped him in the river and I went ruddy bonkers. Then I had a naff childhood anyway.
That sucks, Anglophile. ("I'm sorry" seems like such a feeble comment on your childhood.)
But don't be a Johnny Flynn.
Actually I can sympathize with the driving you nuts. Someone dumped a kitten out at my mom's farm. She drove my mother crazy even as an outdoor cat for 2 years with the yelling. So I took her and kept her indoors at my house in town for 2 more years. She would meow every time I moved a finger, and would have gained 20 pounds if I let her eat all she wanted. I tried very hard to teach her but she just wouldn't learn, so I arranged a transfer to another owner. I do think there was something wrong with her. Her mentality was always that of a kitten. Even the meow sounded like a kitten. :shrug:
Anglophile
Member
- Location
- South of England....Arundel
Yes Nancy that is what I recon, the cats brain has returned to its childhood or should that be kittenhood. Seems cats can get dementia like humans. Still we will keep it going and pay the vet bills or my funeral, which ever comes first
boozercruiser
Senior Member
- Location
- Rhos On Sea. North Wales. UK.
Hey people.
at 12.00PM London time today in a couple of hours time, I am starting our member Cheshire Cat in The Hot Seat.
I hope you will give her a very nice welcome, and ask her some good questions.
She is a lovely little cat who purrs a lot, and likes to be stroked.
Please treat her nice.
She is rather shy though!
at 12.00PM London time today in a couple of hours time, I am starting our member Cheshire Cat in The Hot Seat.
I hope you will give her a very nice welcome, and ask her some good questions.
She is a lovely little cat who purrs a lot, and likes to be stroked.
Please treat her nice.
She is rather shy though!