One Husband is Enough!

Brookswood

Brookswood

Senior Member
Oh boy! According this article, many ladies over about 40 are mostly done with husbands. If the current one bites the dust he probably won’t be replaced in the legal sense. That is, they are done with husbands, but not necessarily done with a man in their life.
“What would be the point?” said Cruse, 68. “Just the commingling funds is just too complicated.” Besides, “over 65, you’re not going to have any children.”
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Plenty of American women are finding that they don’t need a husband to enjoy their golden years. Both men and women in their mid-60s or older are more likely to be divorced or never married than at any time in the past three decades. But the women are much less likely than their male counterparts to get remarried.
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Amen! I'm divorced, which is different from being widowed, but I am definitely done. I'm much happier on my own than I ever was when I was married. (That says a lot about my marriage, unfortunately.) I wouldn't mind having a man as a platonic friend, but I am over and done with romance or anything along those lines.
 

I've never had a husband and don't plan too. I have one wife of 57 years and that is enough. We have had many good days and our share of bad ones as well, but taken on balance I wouldn't do it differently. We've always been their for each other and most of the time very agreeably, as long as I do things her way, or else keep it looking that way.
 
What Do Single Men Over 60 Really Want? (VIDEO) | Sixty and Me
What Are Single Men Over 60 Looking for?

In our interview, I asked Lisa this question directly, and she gave me a simple answer. Single men in their 60s are looking for a woman who is feminine and is willing to help them feel like a man. Many women, including myself, spent most of their lives competing with men – at work, in social situations, and even at home.

Now, as we reach our 60s, it’s difficult to put our swords down and just relax a bit. According to Lisa, single men over 60 want women who are in touch with their feminine side. They want encouragement, not criticism. They need confirmation, not competition.

Do Older Men Really Only Want to Date Younger Women?

Lisa and I also discussed the perception that men only want to date younger women. Lisa mentioned that this is often the case, but not for the reasons that many of us assume. Men are not always looking for a younger body to cuddle up next to. More important is the fact that younger women are more willing to show their feminine side to win a man’s heart.

Of course, they don’t have our experience, or our battle scars for that matter, but, this is beside the point. Lisa argues that, if we can connect with our feminine side, we can find a quality man, regardless of who we are competing with.

Lisa is a straight shooter. You may not agree with her on every point. Or, you may decide that she is right, but that finding a partner is just not worth the trouble. But I promise you that her opinions come from interactions with hundreds of older women just like you. As a result, she knows what she’s saying, even if her advice is not always pleasant to hear.
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We have a widower friend in his nineties who is still the bachelor-about-town in his red sports car, usually choosing women in their seventies to wine and dine. They all seem to dress well, have their hair done, nice jewelry, perfume, etc. In short they all seem to have made an effort and they carry themselves in a traditionally feminine way, waiting for him to open doors, graceful manners etc.

I've always thought dating should be "for the pleasure of their company," with no strings attached and that's how it seems with Eddie and his dates. It's what I would want if I was single.

How I see Eddie.
 
I was married for 19 years. I would call it both difficult and rewarding. After the divorce, we went our separate ways, but still consider each other friends, but not close. I've had couple of relationships afterwards, but marriage was never a consideration. I have thought about marriage from time to time, and I still like the idea, but at this time of my life, it doesn't seem practical. I'm not sure I was ever cut out for marriage to begin with. I believe my ex feels the same way about herself. I guess what I'm saying is that marriage can be nice (or not), but it is not necessary.
 
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I can never decide whether senior women tend to be a bitter broken bunch generally or this forum site just attracts so many of them. Or maybe it's just the "squeaky wheel" thing.

I'm not denying individual bad experiences but I do have to wonder. How much of this is due to "the evil of masculinity" and how much really stems from poor life choices prompted by flattering but false narratives that deny millennia of biological and social realities?
 
I do wish people would quit talking about "poor choices." I feel like they're blaming me for any mistreatment I might have encountered.

I admit I did make bad choices in my life, but then, at 20, I didn't have a lot of experience to prepare me for possibilities I had never imagined. For example, my father was a very good husband, faithful to my mother, appreciative of all she did, never left the dinner table with out saying how good it was, non-drinker, considerate and always a good provider.

So what would make me predict that I would get married and my husband would feel no motivation to provide for me at all? Even when I was pregnant, at a time when pregnant women couldn't get jobs he wouldn't work. Relatives would find jobs for him and he would quit within days. Often he wouldn't get hired in the first place, because he had shoulder length hair (in 1967) and wouldn't consider cutting it. Was that all my fault due to my bad choice?

Anyway. That's off topic. That marriage never made me think men were all bad, I still have many examples of good husbands in my life.

I've seen some very happy senior marriages and I think there are lots of pluses. Even just having someone else in the house is nice. When you get up in the morning and see that it snowed in the night, it's good to be able to turn to someone and say, "Look! It snowed!"
 
At this point the common denominator in my bad marriages was me. After some serious soul searching when I was in my late 30’s I changed. I have been with my SO now 23 years. We are not married…but this only effects us in a financial sense. He certainly would…and I would benefit. But this is mentally better for me.
 
I said a few times before my husband died, that if something happened to him..."I don't want another one!" He was my second husband. Part of me wishes I had a man to cuddle with, enjoy things with and maybe even find love with. But being Muslim, I'm not supposed to just date without the intention of marriage. Truthfully, finding someone I could feel that strongly about scares me to death because I lead with my heart, yet love the uncomplicated, peaceful life I'm living right now. So I'm resigned to spending the rest of my life without romantic love.
 
I love men and I have been married 3 times. My first marriage only lasted 3 years but the last two were 22 years each. At this point in life I don’t want to put the effort into finding a partner.

I don’t want to marry or even live with a man again. It would be nice to have a partner to enjoy life with. So I’m open to a relationship if I meet someone compatible.
 
I think men are wonderful. My brothers and hubby are all good, helpful, great guys. And the brothers' wives agree too. My dad was the same and my maternal grand dad too. Would I marry again if I was single? I think not, only because at this age, either one of us could die sooner than later and I don't want to go through that kind of sorrow.
 
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