Outliving Family Members Is So Depressing

At 67 I'm about the youngest and last of everyone, family and friends. Yes, it has its moments, but I like still being here and not complaining.
 

papa tiger said:
When I think of those I outlived It goes back to around 5 years of age.
Rock on Ronnie 6! I remember asking My mom "Where is Ronnie at the burial site.
So much talk about Ronnie, no Ronnie,

I remember running to his mom That awful day and telling
her something terrible happened down at the bridge over the Crick.
The tractor with those Three, 11, 8, & 6 years of age were going over
it to bring in the Milk Cows. 2 survived because I warned her.

I had heard a terrible noise but couldn't see the Tractor. I couldn't go with
them, my dad ordered me, no riding on tractors till I say so. They wanted me
with them, It was so hard to watch them go away from.

Rock on Terry 14. Rock on Derron & Joe, 17.

25, rock on Dennis. Wonderful wife and child !
Rock on Darell, and all my schoolteachers, Parents and M's & F's in law.,

Rock on my first kind bosses after School.
So many kind people I had the honor of knowing and good relationships with. Rock on!

Many whom I have worked with, rock on wild bunch.

I can name dozens of my close. Some died violently. One lost his hips in Vietnam.
One his truck hit a mine, a flames it was. Rock on buddies.

Rock on all of you guys & Gals.
The Insanity of young deaths. There is only Kindness left to hold to.
Click to expand...
My reasons for wanting to have a self pity party pale in light of yours.
ROCk ON!
 
Pardon me for this sick joke, I think of it when a loved one passes...

When I was feeling low because a loved one passed
my friend said "cheer up, things could be worse"
so I cheered up
and sure enough
things got worse!
I also think of the following poem by Robert Service
If you're up against a bruiser and you're getting knocked about --

Grin.

If you're feeling pretty groggy, and you're licked beyond a doubt --

Grin.

Don't let him see you're funking, let him know with every clout,
Though your face is battered to a pulp, your blooming heart is stout;
Just stand upon your pins until the beggar knocks you out --

And grin.

This life's a bally battle, and the same advice holds true

Of grin.

If you're up against it badly, then it's only one on you,

So grin.

If the future's black as thunder, don't let people see you're blue;
Just cultivate a cast-iron smile of joy the whole day through;
If they call you "Little Sunshine", wish that THEY'D no troubles, too --

You may -- grin.

Rise up in the morning with the will that, smooth or rough,

You'll grin.

Sink to sleep at midnight, and although you're feeling tough,

Yet grin.

There's nothing gained by whining, and you're not that kind of stuff;
You're a fighter from away back, and you WON'T take a rebuff;
Your trouble is that you don't know when you have had enough --

Don't give in.

If Fate should down you, just get up and take another cuff;
You may bank on it that there is no philosophy like bluff,

And grin.
Click to expand...
 

Just about everyone is gone. I keep in touch with a niece in NY by text and I am grateful for that. It is proof that I exist!
My late son's old girlfriend has cancer that has metastasized. She will be 55 in July. They gave her 11 months in January. She calls and seems optimistic.
The good news? The visiting kitty appears to be a rare dilute calico.
She was already rare in my book.
 
Paladin1950 said:
Do you often get depressed when you think of all of your family and friends that have passed on? I know I don't enjoy the holidays so much anymore. My biggest fear is outliving family that is younger than me. June 2020, my younger brother Jim passed away of a heart attack at 57. That hurt in so many ways.

As we get older we brace ourselves for the day that parents, grandparents, and elder siblings pass on. But we never think about younger siblings dying. I know it happens, but we don't think about it as much. As you get older, the deaths get more numerous. Between 2018-2021, has been bad.
2018- My long time supervisor in another facility, died of congested heat failure, at 62.
2019- My landlady (a long time friend of the family since the 1940's), died at 93.
2020- My younger brother passed on.
2021- My aunt passed away in the nursing home where I work at 101.

Actually working in a nursing home, does prepare you when people die. Some of the residents that I have known over the years, were like family to me. You really get to love these people. There is one female resident that I'm really attached to. She's 94 or so. So one day soon, that hurt will come back unfortunately.
Click to expand...
 
Paladin1950 said:
Do you often get depressed when you think of all of your family and friends that have passed on? I know I don't enjoy the holidays so much anymore. My biggest fear is outliving family that is younger than me. June 2020, my younger brother Jim passed away of a heart attack at 57. That hurt in so many ways.

As we get older we brace ourselves for the day that parents, grandparents, and elder siblings pass on. But we never think about younger siblings dying. I know it happens, but we don't think about it as much. As you get older, the deaths get more numerous. Between 2018-2021, has been bad.
2018- My long time supervisor in another facility, died of congested heat failure, at 62.
2019- My landlady (a long time friend of the family since the 1940's), died at 93.
2020- My younger brother passed on.
2021- My aunt passed away in the nursing home where I work at 101.

Actually working in a nursing home, does prepare you when people die. Some of the residents that I have known over the years, were like family to me. You really get to love these people. There is one female resident that I'm really attached to. She's 94 or so. So one day soon, that hurt will come back unfortunately.
Click to expand...
The worst loss of all is losing a child in which I have dealt with over 40 years the question why God allows such horrible things to happen knowing you will feel that hurt all your life is beyond me I’ve also lost other family members if they knew Christ we have the hope Jesus gave we will see them again it doesn’t help now though
 
Denise60 said:
The worst loss of all is losing a child in which I have dealt with over 40 years the question why God allows such horrible things to happen knowing you will feel that hurt all your life is beyond me I’ve also lost other family members if they knew Christ we have the hope Jesus gave we will see them again it doesn’t help now though
Click to expand...
I appreciate what I am about to say will bring you no immediate comfort necessarily but it was stated in the early books of Genesis that God created man and woman in the imagine of he and his cohorts? and did state and I give you free choice and I think he may have meant "the way you all chose" and many of us still do - and it sometimes gets us into difficulties and illnesses??
 
Denise60 said:
The worst loss of all is losing a child in which I have dealt with over 40 years the question why God allows such horrible things to happen knowing you will feel that hurt all your life is beyond me I’ve also lost other family members if they knew Christ we have the hope Jesus gave we will see them again it doesn’t help now though
Click to expand...
Two of my good friends have lost a child and I agree it’s the most horrible loss of all. No one should have to experience that and my heart goes out to everyone that has. It’s also my worst fear.
 
smiley said:
I appreciate what I am about to say will bring you no immediate comfort necessarily but it was stated in the early books of Genesis that God created man and woman in the imagine of he and his cohorts? and did state and I give you free choice and I think he may have meant "the way you all chose" and many of us still do - and it sometimes gets us into difficulties and illnesses??
Click to expand...
having said all that - yes I have lost some good friends along the way - same ages but way way back - why who knows?? young brother went with leukaemia of some sort 15 years ago and now sis and I both wondering who goes next? Perhaps we were once all made perfect but remember that free will again clause again?? - gets us into bother everytime heh? - mind you there is the other theory that we all evolved from the swamps ; swung from the trees a little ; said goodbye to our cousin chimps and started polluting our bodies? - sorry about all that just felt like a soliloquy
 
When my dad's friend Alfred died, last year, aged 103, it meant that my parents' generation were all gone. Mum died in 2023 aged 100, having outlived Dad by almost 20 years.
And my own generation have started to go - another of my London pals, aged 62, last year - he was the first one to go for a few years (there had been sudden deaths of disease and misadventure before, and friends of friends, but nobody I knew that well). My closest friends circle - which of us will go first? We've wondered quite often.
 
Denise60 said:
The worst loss of all is losing a child in which I have dealt with over 40 years the question why God allows such horrible things to happen knowing you will feel that hurt all your life is beyond me I’ve also lost other family members if they knew Christ we have the hope Jesus gave we will see them again it doesn’t help now though
Click to expand...

I had two friends (one gone, the other terminally ill) who also lost only sons. Unlike my situation which was not a total surprise one lost her son through suicide and the other from a freak accident. The grief goes deep in all cases.
 

Outliving Family Members Is So Depressing???? - I suppose it depends on whether you like them or not? we are brought into this world often screaming and not knowing where the hell we are or what we are supposed to do apart from hang onto a nipple for a while? As a teenager I often heard about grandparents dying and aunts/uncles but my own life was speeding up and getting busy so they seemed to be in a distant past? and of course the closer they are the more mental anguish at their departure. my sis and I don't talk about these issues much and we are only two yrs apart - there seems to be an emotional blockage - we push it to one side and ignore??​

 
When I was in my 20s, I was telling my mom how I missed a friend who had gotten married and moved far away & how sad I was at the thought of almost certainly never seeing her again. Mom said, "Look that's going to happen to you throughout life: people will come and go out of your life that you'll never see again; that's just the way life is." And I think that's kind of helped me to accept that and that I think dead is dead, period.
 

You must log in or register to reply here.

Back
Top