Parents that use their parents as free babysitters

I can see a couple of different sides to this argument. I'll say straight off I do not have grandkids. I have a daughter, but no grands.

I worked with an older guy who did have grandkids and his wife ran a daycare with about 5 kids. One of those kids was her grandchild and yes, she did charge for that grandchild. I see nothing wrong with that. She was providing a day care service for that child day in and day out so the daughter could work. I think it is totally between a grandparent and adult child to determine the details for babysitting services. If that includes payment, so be it. Especially if it is a 40 hour a week job.

My mom had six kids. She told my older siblings she wasn't going to be a free babysitting service for everyone. They got babysitters for their kids when they were little. Along came my daughter and my mom just couldn't get enough of her. Well, that made for a huge rift in the family and my siblings were furious. Looking back, I don't blame them for being upset. I'm not sure what the point of my story is here except that if you are going to lay down the law, you have to lay it down for everyone with no exceptions.

If I had grandchildren, I can't imaging charging to babysit them. I wouldn't, however, babysit full time.
 

I was a "free" babysitter when my two youngest grandchildren (now 14 & 16) were younger. In fact their parents lived with us for awhile. I didn't mind it because I was retired and wasn't even a senior yet. My son and his ex always worked so hard and she was very sickly at the time. Both of them were always very appreciative. But my neighbor upstairs was stuck with watching her grandson...a toddler all week when she was 77 or 78 years old. That's too old to be saddled with a 2 year old. She does keep busy though and they'd be out and about in her car. Finally she complained to me. It had to be too much for her and shortly after, the child was in day care. Recently her older son told me he didn't like the fact that his brother was using his mother and shows not appreciation.
 
I worked....I did get my 2 grandkids after work....They did stay in after school, which their Mom had to pay for them to stay after school....I did get out of work at 3:15 so I would get them at the school only a mile away from me...I loved having them..
We most of the time went to the Dollar store...They loved that....Sometimes I would just take them home to my house...We are only 2 blocks away from their home....On the nice days I would take them to the Park...I always had Ice Cream in the freezer...
They loved that...When it was nice outside they would play in the backyard...I was much younger then and had a ball with my
lovely grandkids....They are all grown up and both working....I miss the day's I had with them...But they are still around and see
them whenever we can....
 

Since this thread started I have become a great grand parent. Many things are changing in the family. Our daughter, the grandmother, is going through a marriage breakup and is in a situation where she will have to keep working for the next 15 years until she can retire. There is another grandmother but she has a husband with dementia and she too has to work.

I will help my grand daughter as much as I can but rather than child minding we might both be better off if I help out with finances. Her older sister has a genetic mental handicap. Even at 32 years old she needs a lot of support and she phones me when she is in trouble. I am part of her support system and I respond to her with my time and money when she needs it. Many a time all she needs is encouragement and affirmation.

I post this to demonstrate that as long as we live, as Sassycakes posted earlier, we have something to offer to the family and to the tribe. However, everyone's situation is not the same.
 
Warrigal said:
Since this thread started I have become a great grand parent. Many things are changing in the family. Our daughter, the grandmother, is going through a marriage breakup and is in a situation where she will have to keep working for the next 15 years until she can retire. There is another grandmother but she has a husband with dementia and she too has to work.

I will help my grand daughter as much as I can but rather than child minding we might both be better off if I help out with finances. Her older sister has a genetic mental handicap. Even at 32 years old she needs a lot of support and she phones me when she is in trouble. I am part of her support system and I respond to her with my time and money when she needs it. Many a time all she needs is encouragement and affirmation.

I post this to demonstrate that as long as we live, as Sassycakes posted earlier, we have something to offer to the family and to the tribe. However, everyone's situation is not the same.
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Congratulations @Warrigal on becoming a great grandmother. What a beautiful post you’ve posted about your role in your family. ❤️
 
Trade said:
Social security is a pay as you go system.

https://www.nasi.org/learn/socialsecurity/overview


That means that they money you paid in when you wereworking is long gone. It went to pay the old farts that were retired back then. Today, the money that your kids are paying into the system is what is funding your checks. So, in effect they are already paying you. So while they are out there working to support you, how about you help out a little bit and watch the kids for them?
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I'm a little confused with your statement that the old farts took all the money....My Mom and Dad never had Social Security....I don't know how old you are, but I worked 25 years in a school system and I have Social Security when I was in my middle 60's....I don't understand ….I worked for that SS...
They took pay out of our Workforce....My husband and I were paying Social Security since we were working....(I don't take any money to take care of my grandkids)… Now they are all grown up...
My father was in the National Guard for 45 years....All he had was a pension....No SS!!! He also painted homes.....until he couldn't climb the latter anymore!!!!
My Mom had odd jobs sewing....She didn't have Social Security!!!! I must be older then some here!!!
I wouldn't call anyone (old farts) ever in my life.... (sick)
 

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