Part of life, dying..

Katybug

Katybug

Senior Member
Location
Charlotte, NC
My daughter's father-in-law, amazing man, but he's given up. I don't blame him at age 90. He fell going down 2 steps and the recovery remains gawdawful after almost 3 months.

He graduated from an Ivy League college and retired at 50 due to great investments....a life well lived. I hear today he's saying he's ready to go, the pain is too much for the amount of pain killers they can give at his age and so many things broken in the fall. Most of us don't get that choice, but once you've made it that's pretty much it.
 

So sorry to hear this, Katybug; but I can understand his feelings. I hope that when he passes, it is peacefully. How is the rest of the family dealing with it??
 
Yes it is Katy, and it must be great to get to that point and be satisfied to go. Seems only those who are disappointed with their lives who want to hang on hardest. Do they really think it's gonna get better?

A man like that has dined well on life and is smart enough to know when to quit while he's ahead. Only those who are still hungry for enjoyment of it still want more at any cost.

They can bury me, smiling, in a chocolate coffin.
 

Anne said:
So sorry to hear this, Katybug; but I can understand his feelings. I hope that when he passes, it is peacefully. How is the rest of the family dealing with it??
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Thank you for asking, Anne, but I think all of us are on the same level of understanding...so much pain to deal with (several broken ribs being the worst) and the length of time for recovery and what you have to go through to get there -- if you ever do. So sad...

They are more than a generation older than I am, but he is someone you gravitate to....just so sharp and in touch with what's going on. I can only hope if I live that long someone would be able to say the same.
 
I agree with Diwundrin on this point.

Katybug, I doubt that your relative is giving up on life.
As Di said, he has lived long and well and is ready to move on.
God bless him and wrap him in love for the journey.

We must celebrate the life, not the dying.
It is seldom as bad as we think it will be.
 
How is your daughter's husband doing?

My mother in law died a few years ago she was 91 and tired and ready to go, so she did. She died of congestive heart failure. She had a good long life.

One of my grandpas committed suicide at the age of 92, that was rough, let me tell you, but it was his choice, but still, not an easy thing to deal with. Then of course you are left wondering if there wasn't something you, we, us could have done differently to prevent this.

And you daughter's father in law, he had a very good long life. Who could ask for more than that. It is a real shame he is suffering now, I can understand his desire to have it just stop.

All my best to your family Katy, you have been through the wringer.
 
Katybug said:
Thank you for asking, Anne, but I think all of us are on the same level of understanding...so much pain to deal with (several broken ribs being the worst) and the length of time for recovery and what you have to go through to get there -- if you ever do. So sad...

They are more than a generation older than I am, but he is someone you gravitate to....just so sharp and in touch with what's going on. I can only hope if I live that long someone would be able to say the same.
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I just meant that it probably makes it easier for them if the family understands and accepts how they feel. My Mom gave up too, in a way; she didn't really know us anymore, and was so lonely after my Dad passed that I think she was just ready to go - she stopped eating anything and just wanted to rest.
She passed peacefully; thankfully, without suffering or pain.
Good thoughts for you and the family during this time; you've been through a lot lately.
 
I agree that the family should support his wishes, and give him unconditional love and care until his time here ends. Wishing the best for your family Katy, hope he passes peacefully. :sentimental:
 
Oh Katy my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family, you all have been through a lot recently.
 
My heartfelt thanks to each and every one of you. We have been through a lot, especially with my daughter's cancer, her inability to heal from all the radiation even after a year, and my beloved bi-polar grandson..and that remains ongoing but too painful to talk about. Life can really throw us some curve balls, can't it? Your support means so much!:rose:

Someone asked about my daughter's husband....he fell down a flight of stairs on a business trip a few months ago and is recovering from rotator cuff surgery. But he spends part of everyday with his dad and I'm sure that means a lot to both of them. The bad part is that his parents are obsessively devoted to each other to the point that they have no life outside each other & their family. She's only a couple yrs younger than her husband and I don't think she will be with us long after he passes. No one does.....

Again, thank you for your thoughts and prayers.
 
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This is sad, Katy, there are so many things that can happen to us, the older we get, I'm thinking of my 93 year old mom. Many good thoughts to you and your family for the trials you are facing. I have a bipolar daughter, so, I do relate there.
 
Jackie22 said:
This is sad, Katy, there are so many things that can happen to us, the older we get, I'm thinking of my 93 year old mom. Many good thoughts to you and your family for the trials you are facing. I have a bipolar daughter, so, I do relate there.
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Thx, Jackie. I don't have to tell you the diagnosis of Bi-polar is very challenging -- to say the least -- for those who have it and especially the families dealing with it.

Your mom is 93? God bless her and how lucky you are to have her still with us.
 
Big hugs back attacha! Thank you so much.

For the newer members, you see it doesn't get better than this great group of caring people. It was my lucky day to find you!
 
Katybug, sorry to hear what you and your family are going through right now. This afternoon I watched a documentary called "How to Die in Oregon". I am still reeling from watching this profound program on individual's rights to determine when it's the end. It should be a choice everyone has.
 
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