People living alone do you get visitors ?

hollydolly

hollydolly

SF VIP
Location
London England
Earlier I watched a video on youtube about cash strapped pensioners... which is something that is a national disgrace in this country...

.. but aside from the stories of financial hardship.. I was stunned when a 68 year old woman said she'd lived in her home for 31 years and in that time had only twice had visitors..

Now this woman lives in an apartment block in a busy industrial Northern English town..renowned supposedly for it's friendliness..

How sad can this be.. how tragic, that this lady has found it impossible to make friends enough for anyone to visit her ?

Does anybody know anyone like this ?
 

Me. I can count on one hand the times I've actually had company in 50 some years of life. I don't make friends easily or barely at all and I'm not comfortable going out much or having people in my house. Mostly because I spent a lifetime alone in my room. Just me. And my Barbies if they count.

I am even more leery of having company since moving to this town I'm currently in that is rife with bedbugs. I spend 95% of my time alone. The neighbors don't talk to me. They don't even say hello.

I take that back, one guy on the corner says hello about once a summer if he happens by on his lawnmower. Once in a while I meet other old broads at the supermarket that seem nice but some are a little crackers. After seeing the various folks that come into the ER looking innocent enough...no thanks.

I think I'm good. 😁
 
Marci that's so sad... especially as you are not a hermit..

She. had a similar tale to tell.. she said she'd been fostered as a child, but the foster mother didn't really like her and left her alone all the time.. so she never knew how to make friends... and feels that she's been alone all her life .

She's a friendly woman goes out once a week to a community hall and gets some company for 4 hours, but no-one ever visits her ... as she said ...''I wish I had someone who would come and visit, and we could enjoy each others' hobbies, and likes and dislikes''.. .

Unlike you of course, she doesn't work outside of her home.. and therefore spends 90 % of her time just staring into space or listening to the radio

...so sad...
 

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I couldn't stare into space. I at least have some hobbies. But they are ones that are done alone. I actually am a hermit. The only reason I leave the house is to go to work or the doctor.

I've experimented over the years in attempt to go be among the people and have hobbies outside the house but usually got made fun of so I just quit bothering with it.

I have been through childhood trauma with no support from the parents because back then nobody knew what to do. I too never really learned to make friends. I have some now but I never see them. Once in a while one will take me somewhere with her.

All of my companionship is online and coworkers (3/4's of which I don't like). Today on here has been a real treat for me. :)
 
Oh Marci... I'm so sad for you.. how rotten for you to not have received whatever help it was that you needed back then which has affected your life to this day :(..anyway thank goodness for forums huh ? :love:

the lady I was talking about, she had no money to take up any hobbies.. that was of course the point of the documentary... she couldn't afford to have her heating or TV on for more than a short period each day so she ended up in bed early in the evening listening to the radio..

I was stunned at her physical appearance because she was the same age as I am... yet I call her an elderly woman because physically she looked ( altho' didn't move ) like someone in their 80's..
 
yeah, i went for a period where i couldn't afford anything so i read a lot. and colored cuz it was cheap to color. books were free at the library. no library there?

they say isolation isn't good for a person but, for me home is my safe space. i really don't mind it so much. and yes thank God for forums. 😁

if she's anything like me she likely found face to face interactions to be awkward. you never know, she might not have been as miserable as you may think. despite my situation i manage to find joy in each day somewhere.

maybe when i get older i can go to the senior center and meet some other ladies and maybe join a coffee klatch. although i'm not aware of too many coffee klatches after dark. LOL!
 
i'm gonna share this cuz it's kinda humorous. when i first moved here as a funny i put free to good home on the car window. feed and coffee daily. i came out of the supermarket and this nice lookin young man is standing between my car and another on the passenger side. i started unlocking the door and he says...

excuse me ma'am but is this your car? i was like yup. he smirked and turned and starts walkin away. i said what? you can't use an old lady in your life? and he shook his head and laughed. then i laughed. LOL
 
MarciKS said:
yeah, i went for a period where i couldn't afford anything so i read a lot. and colored cuz it was cheap to color. books were free at the library. no library there?

they say isolation isn't good for a person but, for me home is my safe space. i really don't mind it so much. and yes thank God for forums. 😁

if she's anything like me she likely found face to face interactions to be awkward. you never know, she might not have been as miserable as you may think. despite my situation i manage to find joy in each day somewhere.

maybe when i get older i can go to the senior center and meet some other ladies and maybe join a coffee klatch. although i'm not aware of too many coffee klatches after dark. LOL!
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Oh she was miserable.. very sad that she had no visitors... she seemed a pretty outgoing lady... as for libraries I have no idea if there's any close to her..she lives at the opposite side of the country to me..
 
MarciKS said:
i'm gonna share this cuz it's kinda humorous. when i first moved here as a funny i put free to good home on the car window. feed and coffee daily. i came out of the supermarket and this nice lookin young man is standing between my car and another on the passenger side. i started unlocking the door and he says...

excuse me ma'am but is this your car? i was like yup. he smirked and turned and starts walkin away. i said what? you can't use an old lady in your life? and he shook his head and laughed. then i laughed. LOL
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that was funny... .. and there he was hoping for a 20 year old..lol... you should put that sign up again... you might get luckier this time:LOL:
 
hollydolly said:
Oh she was miserable.. very sad that she had no visitors... she seemed a pretty outgoing lady... as for libraries I have no idea if there's any close to her..she lives at the opposite side of the country to me..
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see that's where her and i differ. i am not outgoing. in the beginning i was sad but i've lived this way so long that i don't know any other way to be. i even tried dating and marriage and nothing helped.
 
MarciKS said:
see that's where her and i differ. i am not outgoing. in the beginning i was sad but i've lived this way so long that i don't know any other way to be. i even tried dating and marriage and nothing helped.
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she said those exact words... '' lived like this so long I have no idea how else to be ''... but yet she's still very much open to friendships.. just no-one comes to visit..

2 people in 31 years ??... I'll never forget that..
 
MarciKS said:
5 people in 50 isn't much different. what is that? 1 every 10 yrs?
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I just can't imagine that. When I think of how many parties, and how many people have visited this house over the years.. I just can't even envisage 1 visitor every 10 years... ...this last 2 years has been the quietest this house or any of my homes have been my whole life..
 
MarciKS said:
Me. I can count on one hand the times I've actually had company in 50 some years of life. I don't make friends easily or barely at all and I'm not comfortable going out much or having people in my house. Mostly because I spent a lifetime alone in my room. Just me. And my Barbies if they count.

I am even more leery of having company since moving to this town I'm currently in that is rife with bedbugs. I spend 95% of my time alone. The neighbors don't talk to me. They don't even say hello.

I take that back, one guy on the corner says hello about once a summer if he happens by on his lawnmower. Once in a while I meet other old broads at the supermarket that seem nice but some are a little crackers. After seeing the various folks that come into the ER looking innocent enough...no thanks.

I think I'm good. 😁
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We're all a little crackers 😂 I have found. I too am somewhat of a recluse. I definitely prefer my little dog over most people . I don't know what I will do if she goes before me. I'll be lost and very very sad .

I have to start back to my hobbies one of these days. People have just hurt me too much and let me down too. A lifetime of that makes a person jaded.
 
Not many. Locally, I stick to myself and mostly home.
Few have visited and not for long. None overnight ... except the dogs, whose company I enjoy much more than most humans.

I have two vehicles but rarely go anywhere. The car I last drove on 09Sept to a memorial service for a family member.

Night before last, I was driving the Jeep back home from bi-weekly grocery shopping.
As I pulled up to the house and for a nano second I wondered who pulled up in my driveway while I was gone ... it was my car :ROFLMAO:
 
Teacher Terry said:
It’s harder to make friends as you age because there’s less opportunities.
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So true. A person I know who's the type who's always had a lot of friends, very active socially, always seemed so happy, told me that after she had become elderly, that she had discovered how hard it is to make friends when you're older; first time I had ever seen her in a sad mood.

I think another thing that makes it hard to make friends when you're older is that if you live in an area (like mine) that's traditional in ways, especially if that way is believing that family is the most important thing in life, and others are lucky enough to have family nearby, that family becomes the only thing that those others care about and they won't be open to reaching out in friendship to those who don't have family. (Too bad that the "family of man {people}" has become an outdated concept.)
 
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Teacher Terry said:
I am very social and have friends and family over frequently. It’s one reason I wouldn’t consider moving to another city in retirement because of my strong social network. It’s harder to make friends as you age because there’s less opportunities.
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That's true... however in this instance this lady had been living in her apartment for 31 years... so obviously living there in her 30's
 
hollydolly said:
Earlier I watched a video on youtube about cash strapped pensioners... which is something that is a national disgrace in this country...

.. but aside from the stories of financial hardship.. I was stunned when a 68 year old woman said she'd lived in her home for 31 years and in that time had only twice had visitors..

Now this woman lives in an apartment block in a busy industrial Northern English town..renowned supposedly for it's friendliness..

How sad can this be.. how tragic, that this lady has found it impossible to make friends enough for anyone to visit her ?

Does anybody know anyone like this ?
Click to expand...

I don't go out very much these days. I have a neighbor I enjoy talking to, and every now and then I'll knock on his door and we'll have a coffee and chat - mostly about music (he's a drummer). But I don't have people visit me. Having cut myself off from work, it's clear that lives move on (as it should be).
 

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