People That Commit Suicide

[911]

We have within our congregation a fellow that has attempted suicide 4 times. Our Pastor has spoken with him and he has been in counseling for at least 2 years. He’s tells everyone he is 48 y/o, but he is actually 60. His sister told a few of us he tells everyone he’s 48 so he gets more sympathy, which I never understood.

Last week was his fourth attempt when he shot himself in the front of the head and survived. A lady asked me if the law could do anything about him. She thought maybe the law could have him committed. I told her the best way would be to get his psychiatrist to have him committed, however, psychiatrists are somewhat shy about doing that for fear of being sued. All the law can do is pick him up and have him institutionalized for 72 hours to be evaluated. After that, a psychiatrist at the hospital could either recommend he be committed to a state facility or they could ask the state to commit him.

I think there is a poster on here that has dealt with state mental health facilities and they may be able to add more. I think it was fuzzybuddy (?) that said he worked in a state facility. I was called to a house where a man lost his job, his wife and kids left and his dog died all on the same day and he called his brother and threatened suicide. He called the state police and I got the call to pick him up on what we call a 302. When I got to the house and started walking to the front door, he shot at me. That’s an automatic 20 years, but he was finally taken into custody, evaluated and found to be mentally incompetent. He ended up in a state facility.

I already told our small group that take turns checking on him that sooner or later, our guy will succeed.

 

[old medic]

Unfortunately, I have dealt with more than my share of suicide and attempts. One that has always bothered me was a 15 year old girl that took a bunch of Tylenol because she was mad at her parents. Took her over a year to die waiting for a transplant.

 

[hollydolly]

Not everyone who takes their own lives have mental health issues.

My mother took her own life.. she was in a terrible abusive marriage and had attempted suicide several times and had always been found before she died.. The first was when I was just around 4 years old.. she succeeded when I was 18 years old..

The second suicide was my ex husbands' eldest son who was born after we divorced and he was in a new relationship. My daughters' half brother

The boy grew to have an addiction to gambling just like his father.. and in his early 20's with a partner and new baby couldn't see his way out of it , and took his own life...

 

[Pepper]

This is a very difficult subject; especially here, especially now. As usual though, 911 is fascinating with the depth of his knowledge on so many important events.

 

[Paco Dennis]

I too have personal experience with suicide. My Mother ( by accident ), my step-Mother, my Father, and older brother ( by accident ), and friends. Were they mentally ill? Who is to judge this? My feeling is that sometimes it is probably a mistake to try to kill yourself, but if your situation becomes intolerable and the suffering too much I feel like it is up to the individual. Helping someone with a horrid condition just to keep them alive seems wrong to me. Putting them in an institution and keeping them sedated is wrong IMO.

 

[Pepper]

Now that I'm old and approaching a natural death, I'm glad I waited. Who hasn't thought of offing themselves? Hmmm. That question says a lot about me, doesn't it? There was a time in my life I was so lonely I thought I would die from it. Looking back, I can see solutions I wouldn't have even considered.

Life is so very hard at times. I really liked your above post @Paco Dennis

 

[MarciKS]

Sadly the mental health system is letting a lot of very sick people down because they can't offer the care they need. Plus I wonder if there is a lot of overcrowding in the institutions. Not all psychiatrists and therapists are good at what they do. And most people don't have the time and money required to get the help they desperately need.

Not everyone that kills themselves is mental. Some just want out. Whether it be for health reasons or other who knows. My father used to threaten to kill himself if mom died. If he hadn't chickened out he'd be gone now.

I tried suicide my freshman year of high school. I didn't take enough pills. Wish I had but that's a whole other story. If I had, I'd have gone unnoticed most if not all the day during school. I had reached my low. I was in so deep that I no longer cared to be here. I also knew there was no one here that gave a crap whether I died or not.

I would've tried again but since I screwed up I figured it wasn't worth another try. Still wish I had tried again. But now I am just dealing with the life before me. Doing the best I can with it. Some people just can not cope with life and everything it entails. Some people can't live without others. Some people can't cope with whatever is in their heads. We have a lot of suicides and attempts here because of drugs.

It's sad but it happens. I think if our system was better at handling it, it wouldn't be as bad. But they do these evals and let people go home without proper care. You end up seeing them in the ER a month later again with another attempt or issue. We can't babysit the world and hold their hand through life. It's up to them at a certain point to deal with their life issues and seek help and learn to cope. Just like we have to. Some folks just can't do that. Some aren't able to.

 

[ohioboy]

Attempted suicide is not a criminal offense, so the law is basically powerless, except what 911 pointed out.

 

[jujube]

My sister-in-law committed suicide in a way. She was a brilliant woman, holder of a Ph.D., college professor, wife, mother of exceptional children. Unfortunately, she also was morbidly obese, weighing in at somewhere between 350-400 pounds. She also had several ailments connected with her weight.

One day, she decided that it just wasn't worth it any more and discontinued all her medications. She was gone in a couple of months, leaving behind a shattered family.

 

[Mr. Ed]

People who commit suicide don’t change their mind afterward.

 

[Jules]

Many people are being more open and honest about their mental health problems. Hopefully they’ll get the help they need. The more that people are willing to share can make others realize that they’re not alone in their darkness.

I follow a podcaster who admits he has a perfect life and is in a very bad place. He is getting help. We just never know who is walking a fine line.

 

[Born_To_Lose]

I always thought my best friend had the better life. We grew up together from the first grade through high school. We both were drafted after high school. He went Army and I went to the Marines, which shocked me. When we were discharged, we picked up where we left off being best friends.

He met a girl and in less than a year later he got married. I was his best man and had to give a toast. It took me several hours to write it because I didn’t like the wording. They are still married with 4 children. They fight like cats and dogs and they both keep threatening divorce. I really don’t like visiting them because of all the back and forth bickering. I asked him if he was really happy and he said no. I asked him why doesn’t he cut the knot and move on. He just shrugs his shoulders.

Her father was heavily invested in oil all his life and he also owns a bunch of real estate, so maybe it’s the money that keeps him staying put. He just bought a brand new $85,000 pickup truck and paid cash for it. I guess his life isn’t all that good as I thought it was. They are planning on taking a trip around the world starting in April and will be gone for 3 months. I can just imagine what that will be like.

The grass isn’t always greener on the other side.

 

[Capt Lightning]

Coming home on the bus one afternoon, the driver announced that we would be taking a different route as there 'was a jumper on the bridge.' By this he meant a point where one of the main roads crossed over another busy road. I wondered why anyone who was serious about killing themselves would choose such a public place. Did he intend to go through with it? Was it a call for help? I don't know the outcome, but since then, additional fencing has been erected.

 

[Pepper]

I always thought my best friend had the better life. We grew up together from the first grade through high school. We both were drafted after high school. He went Army and I went to the Marines, which shocked me. When we were discharged, we picked up where we left off being best friends.

He met a girl and in less than a year later he got married. I was his best man and had to give a toast. It took me several hours to write it because I didn’t like the wording. They are still married with 4 children. They fight like cats and dogs and they both keep threatening divorce. I really don’t like visiting them because of all the back and forth bickering. I asked him if he was really happy and he said no. I asked him why doesn’t he cut the knot and move on. He just shrugs his shoulders.

Her father was heavily invested in oil all his life and he also owns a bunch of real estate, so maybe it’s the money that keeps him staying put. He just bought a brand new $85,000 pickup truck and paid cash for it. I guess his life isn’t all that good as I thought it was. They are planning on taking a trip around the world starting in April and will be gone for 3 months. I can just imagine what that will be like.

The grass isn’t always greener on the other side.

What does this have to do with suicide?

 

[hollydolly]

Coming home on the bus one afternoon, the driver announced that we would be taking a different route as there 'was a jumper on the bridge.' By this he meant a point where one of the main roads crossed over another busy road. I wondered why anyone who was serious about killing themselves would choose such a public place. Did he intend to go through with it? Was it a call for help? I don't know the outcome, but since then, additional fencing has been erected.

it happens here quite often unfortunately..usually they've done it before any help arrives.. but sometimes the traffic gets held up..particularly on the M25.. while someone threatens to jump from a bridge

 

[dilettante]

We just never know who is walking a fine line.

That is very true.

I was a supervisor, then manager for most of my career. With time the focus turned more and more toward trying to spot problems in workers and arrange assistance for them. Eventually "Human Resources" twigged as well and began to be more supportive, at least providing an Employee Service Program that gave us more tools to help people with.

It was a tough thing. We always risked liability in intervening. People can easily be offended or feel they are being picked on. Social stigma still exist. But so much can be seen in worker performance changes that it is hard to go wrong in identifying that something is going on.

 

[Rakaia]

I think it was 1957 when my father 'commited' suicide. I've lived most of my life in the shadow of suicide, this shaped me but it's a long way from defining me.

 

[hearlady]

I had a niece that took her own life in her twenties.
Harking back to @Rose65 's thread, when we got the phone call it threw me. It was one time I broke down crying.
Too young, too sad.
I don't know how her mother, my sister in law, could handle it but she did, with time.

 

[dobielvr]

When I was married we lived next door to this happily married young man with a new baby that committed suicide. Would have never guessed it. He had a great job, new home, appeared healthy. My cousin knew of him through work and she called me one morning to tell me the sad news. (i had moved out of my home by then)

It seems his father and another family member had also committed suicide.

 

[Pepper]

When I was married we lived next door to this happily married young man with a new baby that committed suicide. Would have never guessed it. He had a great job, new home, appeared healthy. My cousin knew of him through work and she called me one morning to tell me the sad news. (i had moved out of my home by then)

It seems his father and another family member had also committed suicide.

Didn't Tim Buckley and his son Jeff both commit suicide? Not going to look it up, but I think so.

 

[Timewise 60+]

I have known a few people in my life that killed themselves. The one that surprised me the most was a kid in high school that played on our football team. He was in the same class as I was, and he was our quarterback. He was a straight A student all of his life. He was a great athlete and actually started as a sophomore on our varsity team, at quarterback (I went to a very large high school).

During the summer leading to our senior year, I saw him every week as he attended a workout program at our high school that was for football players. I recall that one day late in the summer he didn't show up, which wasn't like him. Later that evening the coach showed up and told us all that Doug had shot himself earlier that day. I had talked with him on the day before and he seemed fine. He was excited to get going when school started. I was just shocked...! What a waste and loss of a guy I really liked!

 

[dobielvr]

Didn't Tim Buckley and his son Jeff both commit suicide? Not going to look it up, but I think so.

I had to look him up cause I don't remember Tim Buckley. He died back in 1975 of a drug overdose apparently.
Heroin/morphine.
His son JB died from drowning in the Mississippi River in 1997.

 

[OlderThanDirt]

The Mental Health system here in the USA is a mess . I worked in it for most of my adult life and it was quite frustrating. I read a book this year called The Best Minds, By Jon Rosen, about a rather well known schizophrenic who the system failed. It's a good description of how and why the system doesn't work for many folks. Another excellent exploration of the US mental health system is Susan Sheehan's Is There No Place On Earth For Me. Both are highly readable non fiction books that read like novels. If anyone is interested, they're a good place to start to learn more about the journeys of folks with serious and persistent mental illness.

 

[OlderThanDirt]

I had to look him up cause I don't remember Tim Buckley. He died back in 1975 of a drug overdose apparently.
Heroin/morphine.
His son JB died from drowning in the Mississippi River in 1997.

I saw Tim Buckley in concert at the Fillmore East back in the day. He stumbled onstage, attempted a song, and then stumbled off. I was so disappointed. It was the Fillmore, so there were two other acts, but I had gone to see him! I think the other acts were Jeff Beck and maybe a group called Rhinoceros? I should look this up!

 

[Pepper]

I saw Tim Buckley in concert at the Fillmore East back in the day. He stumbled onstage, attempted a song, and then stumbled off. I was so disappointed. It was the Fillmore, so there were two other acts, but I had gone to see him! I think the other acts were Jeff Beck and maybe a group called Rhinoceros? I should look this up!

Look it up, please. I think I was there.