Post tributes here about your loved ones.

Treacle said:
He did go to jail for 2 years (got 3 years) but never ever behaved like a father. We all suffered at the convent and I was subjected to sexual abuse by my uncles and lived in fear of going home in case the car was there. The other uncle I would say goodnight too so he would know I was awake and wouldn't come into my room. Not having a mum who could protect me on this earth has left me emotionally damaged and I don't think I've ever felt what it is to be loved. I've been in bad relationships and currently in another one of 15 years which I continue to endure until the timing is right for me to leave. (I know we have free will). It's as if people sense your vulnerability and take advantage. But but but, I know one day I will find that peace and I remain optimistic that however awful this journey has been it will all come good in the end and now my brother is with mum I have two souls taking care of me. Thank you @Phoenix for your concern.
Click to expand...
Two years is not enough. You've had a very difficult life. Sexual abuse is a horrible violation. So many women I know have been through it. No love - that's the worst part. I wish I could have shared my parents with you. You never had any kids? I didn't, on purpose, for a number of reasons. I know that no matter what I say it will not be enough to make up for what you have suffered and what you have missed. But I do believe that by learning to care for each other, we can provide a little comfort and make someone feel less alone. The alone feeling can be overwhelming. Friendship can help. I'm offer a beginning of that friendship.

You will find the right time to leave. Trust yourself.
 

Last edited:
My beautiful daughter. She was so tiny, yet, she excelled at everything she set her mind to. Taught herself to speak Korean (so she could understand some Korean CD she had). Then learned Arabic from her sister.
Played basketball, (point guard) volley ball, softball. Learned to play piano. (classical).
So smart. graduated Christian high school at 15 1/2 years old. Got accepted to MSU right out of school. (youngest full time student there). After one semester, she switched to University of Florida in Gainesville where she earned several degrees.
Joined military (82nd Airborne) and got the invite to jump school and jumped multiple times and earned her parachute patch and badge.
After Military, went to full sail University in Florida and learned computer coding. graduated and went to work for the military writing programs that enabled all computer map programs to communicate with each other in real time with soldiers on the ground thus
enabling them to see a virtual map of what was in front and around them. starting pay was six figures.
Married her sweetheart and he did the same work. Thereby doubling their income and allowing them to buy anew home. (500k)
In and out of VA a lot because of ptsd from her time in Afghanistan. Given pills that only made it worse.

I guess she lost her fight with those inner demons because on a warm, sunny Florida morning, she walked out to her front yard and put a gun to her head and pulled the trigger.

This has been so hard to write. :cry::cry:

so little.jpg putering.jpgMy baby.jpg1000 yard stare.JPG
 
squatting dog said:
My beautiful daughter. She was so tiny, yet, she excelled at everything she set her mind to. Taught herself to speak Korean (so she could understand some Korean CD she had). Then learned Arabic from her sister.
Played basketball, (point guard) volley ball, softball. Learned to play piano. (classical).
So smart. graduated Christian high school at 15 1/2 years old. Got accepted to MSU right out of school. (youngest full time student there). After one semester, she switched to University of Florida in Gainesville where she earned several degrees.
Joined military (82nd Airborne) and got the invite to jump school and jumped multiple times and earned her parachute patch and badge.
After Military, went to full sail University in Florida and learned computer coding. graduated and went to work for the military writing programs that enabled all computer map programs to communicate with each other in real time with soldiers on the ground thus
enabling them to see a virtual map of what was in front and around them. starting pay was six figures.
Married her sweetheart and he did the same work. Thereby doubling their income and allowing them to buy anew home. (500k)
In and out of VA a lot because of ptsd from her time in Afghanistan. Given pills that only made it worse.

I guess she lost her fight with those inner demons because on a warm, sunny Florida morning, she walked out to her front yard and put a gun to her head and pulled the trigger.

This has been so hard to write. :cry::cry:

View attachment 117986 View attachment 117987View attachment 117988View attachment 117989
Click to expand...
@squatting dog I am in tears , tears, tears, tears. A beautiful beautiful woman. This may seem strange but when I respond here and think of mum and my brother I think, Ros (Treacle) because you've made a connection here we know of her and will meet her and she will be ok. I'm sorry if that might seem strange but I want to believe she is ok wherever she is now. Can't keep saying what a beautiful beautiful woman she was and so so gifted. Heartbreaking. 🌹
 

squatting dog said:
My beautiful daughter. She was so tiny, yet, she excelled at everything she set her mind to. Taught herself to speak Korean (so she could understand some Korean CD she had). Then learned Arabic from her sister.
Played basketball, (point guard) volley ball, softball. Learned to play piano. (classical).
So smart. graduated Christian high school at 15 1/2 years old. Got accepted to MSU right out of school. (youngest full time student there). After one semester, she switched to University of Florida in Gainesville where she earned several degrees.
Joined military (82nd Airborne) and got the invite to jump school and jumped multiple times and earned her parachute patch and badge.
After Military, went to full sail University in Florida and learned computer coding. graduated and went to work for the military writing programs that enabled all computer map programs to communicate with each other in real time with soldiers on the ground thus
enabling them to see a virtual map of what was in front and around them. starting pay was six figures.
Married her sweetheart and he did the same work. Thereby doubling their income and allowing them to buy anew home. (500k)
In and out of VA a lot because of ptsd from her time in Afghanistan. Given pills that only made it worse.

I guess she lost her fight with those inner demons because on a warm, sunny Florida morning, she walked out to her front yard and put a gun to her head and pulled the trigger.

This has been so hard to write. :cry::cry:

View attachment 117986 View attachment 117987View attachment 117988View attachment 117989
Click to expand...
What a lovely, wonderful gal. I am so sorry you lost her, and she lost herself. PTSD is something, that so many who go to war, experience at one level or another. Hers was extreme. My guess is that the meds, rather than help, put her over the edge.

My friend Bob has it, from his time in Vietnam. He still has a bullet lodged in his head. The VA gave him meds too. The meds gave him hallucinations. Eventually he stopped taking them. The way he deals with the demons is that he writes horror stories. He said it works a lot better than the meds. Those kinds of drugs should be outlawed. My brother's schizophrenia drugs put him over the edge, and he did in his neighbors. They had given him six different ones, which he took at that same time. Another guy I know, who was in Vietnam in the infantry, said he would have put a bullet in his own head if it hadn't been for his uncle who had been through the same thing in WWII.

How long ago did she end her life? Have you had anyone to talk to about it? Do you have a supportive family, or are all of you lost within the loss? Sometimes it happens that way. Do you need a virtual shoulder? I'm here.

I like the poem. It's right on.
 
For my buddie, Fred/
In my other life, I worked with people with various disabilities, usually related to Cerebral Palsy. One was Fred. He had CP, cognitive disabilities, and was blind in one eye (had a prosthetic eye). Despite all that, he was always a loving, cheerful man. He knew everyone by voice, and would always be good for a kiss on the back of your hand. A gentle soule, with a gentle heart.
He has been in a nursing home for the past few months, went in just before Christmas. I found out in March. Sadly, was not able to go visit, due to lockdown.
I have just found out he has had Pneumonia, and has been on a vent, for several days, His sister has decided because he is in such discomfort and pain, and having no hope to get off the vent, she will be signing the release to remove it on Sunday, She, and a close family friend have been given permission to be with him on Sunday when he goes.

This song sums up Fred's love for life and those around him.

 
Marie5656 said:
For my buddie, Fred/
In my other life, I worked with people with various disabilities, usually related to Cerebral Palsy. One was Fred. He had CP, cognitive disabilities, and was blind in one eye (had a prosthetic eye). Despite all that, he was always a loving, cheerful man. He knew everyone by voice, and would always be good for a kiss on the back of your hand. A gentle soule, with a gentle heart.
He has been in a nursing home for the past few months, went in just before Christmas. I found out in March. Sadly, was not able to go visit, due to lockdown.
I have just found out he has had Pneumonia, and has been on a vent, for several days, His sister has decided because he is in such discomfort and pain, and having no hope to get off the vent, she will be signing the release to remove it on Sunday, She, and a close family friend have been given permission to be with him on Sunday when he goes.

This song sums up Fred's love for life and those around him.
Click to expand...
Oh Marie, it has been your honor to know Fred. What a dear soul he is/has been. He taught much about what was/is important. Sometimes we feel sorry for such a one, and yet, is it not they who are the ones who never lost their way and indeed can guide us in simplicity and love? I'm sure as you process his passing, you will remember him in so many positive ways. As he goes a part of you goes with him, and a part of him stays with you.

The song is a loving release. Thank you for sharing it and Fred with us.
 
Words can not express how Wonderful my Mom and Dad were. They were both loving,caring,thoughtful and extremely generous to the entire family. My BIL was a Wonderful man who in spite of the life he lived before he meet my sister he had never had love in his life from his own family. Neither parent wanted him and he was raised in a boys home. Yet he became a wonderful caring husband ,father and BIL. My nephew who passed away 6months ago at only 53yrs old. He went through many health problems but was always there for the entire family. I was very Blessed to have these loving people in my life and I miss them and think of them everyday.
 
Sassycakes said:
Words can not express how Wonderful my Mom and Dad were. They were both loving,caring,thoughtful and extremely generous to the entire family. My BIL was a Wonderful man who in spite of the life he lived before he meet my sister he had never had love in his life from his own family. Neither parent wanted him and he was raised in a boys home. Yet he became a wonderful caring husband ,father and BIL. My nephew who passed away 6months ago at only 53yrs old. He went through many health problems but was always there for the entire family. I was very Blessed to have these loving people in my life and I miss them and think of them everyday.
Click to expand...
You were incredibly fortunate to have wonderful parents. I'm so glad they were good to everyone. It is heartening to know that all your BIL needed was love to bring out the best in him. 53 was too young for your nephew to leave you. The loss must still be acute. Thank you for sharing them and your love for them with us.
 
To the first man who taught me unconditional love ~ my dad Pete/Peter/Pedro

He taught by example, not sermons. He gave legal services pro bono to the destitute even if they knew not of gratitude. His practice was untainted by defeat! What a gifted human, I am so privileged to carry his DNA, hopefully I passed it on to DS, who is exhibiting a tinge of dad's brilliance.

Wherever you are dad, I hope you're proud of me inspite of mistakes I've made. You told me once, our mistakes don't define us, it's how we rise after each fall that makes us great. I 💘 you dad! 💋
 
hellomimi said:
To the first man who taught me unconditional love ~ my dad Pete/Peter/Pedro

He taught by example, not sermons. He gave legal services pro bono to the destitute even if they knew not of gratitude. His practice was untainted by defeat! What a gifted human, I am so privileged to carry his DNA, hopefully I passed it on to DS, who is exhibiting a tinge of dad's brilliance.

Wherever you are dad, I hope you're proud of me inspite of mistakes I've made. You told me once, our mistakes don't define us, it's how we rise after each fall that makes us great. I 💘 you dad! 💋
Click to expand...
Unconditional love is one of the greatest gifts. Helping other for the sake of helping, not gratitude is the offering of a good heart. I'm glad that such a wonderful man taught you about life. I'm sure he is proud of you. Mistakes often teach us more than living the life of an obedient robot.
 
The term "unsung hero" is much overused, but I would still use it for my late father in law. He had little formal education, but was still well read and knowledgeable. He was a stoker in the merchant navy and sailed on the Atlantic convoys during WW2. In June 1944, he was in Portsmouth, ready to sail when an official looking man came aboard and told my F-I-L and his pal to come with him to another ship. When they asked why, they were told that they needed experiences and reliable men for a special voyage.

Next day was D-day, and he found himself on a ship carrying supplies to back up the Normandy landings. He subsequently sailed to and from Italy until the end of the war. In spite of the attacks by U-boats, mines etc.. he emerged unscathed, and occasionally he would tell me stories of his voyages - sometimes amusing, often horrific.

After the war, now married and my now wife on the way, he realised that a life at sea was not ideal for a family man. He said that one day, on his way by train to join a ship, he passed a cement works and on the spur of the moment, got off and went to see the foreman. He said the foreman looked at him and said, "you're a merchant seaman" My F-i-L asked how he knew, and the foreman said it was the distinctive way he ironed his trousers. F-i-L explained that he had sailed on the convoys, and the foreman offered him a job there and then. He worked for that company until he retired, but tragically died from a stroke at 69.
 
Capt Lightning said:
The term "unsung hero" is much overused, but I would still use it for my late father in law. He had little formal education, but was still well read and knowledgeable. He was a stoker in the merchant navy and sailed on the Atlantic convoys during WW2. In June 1944, he was in Portsmouth, ready to sail when an official looking man came aboard and told my F-I-L and his pal to come with him to another ship. When they asked why, they were told that they needed experiences and reliable men for a special voyage.

Next day was D-day, and he found himself on a ship carrying supplies to back up the Normandy landings. He subsequently sailed to and from Italy until the end of the war. In spite of the attacks by U-boats, mines etc.. he emerged unscathed, and occasionally he would tell me stories of his voyages - sometimes amusing, often horrific.

After the war, now married and my now wife on the way, he realised that a life at sea was not ideal for a family man. He said that one day, on his way by train to join a ship, he passed a cement works and on the spur of the moment, got off and went to see the foreman. He said the foreman looked at him and said, "you're a merchant seaman" My F-i-L asked how he knew, and the foreman said it was the distinctive way he ironed his trousers. F-i-L explained that he had sailed on the convoys, and the foreman offered him a job there and then. He worked for that company until he retired, but tragically died from a stroke at 69.
Click to expand...
What a touching story. He was a truly great man. It was good that he got a civilian job so he could be with his family. My dad grew up with a father who had to be away to have any kind of job at all. Dad turned down a job that would pay a lot of money, so he could be home with my family. It was good that you were able to know such a man.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Back
Top