Problems and Worries - Do They Ever End ?

In my experience / exposure, in general it seems that the "good people" get the most grief.
 

Mobilman44 said:
This all may sound like a "poor me" lament, and maybe it is, although I don't intend it to be that way.

It seems that my life has always been filled with problems and worries - mostly about loved ones. It's like they never end, that when one does get resolved, another one pops up to take its place. I'm pretty sure I'm not alone in this, for a few friends have expressed similar thoughts. Ha, our mantra is "it's always something".

Believe me, I am well aware of others whose difficulties minimize mine, and I appreciate that. But dammit, it (retirement) wasn't supposed to be this way. I just don't recall my parents or older relatives having all the problems that seem to plague me and others.

I do know I am a "worrier", and that sure doesn't help my state of mind. When I was younger, being the "anal analyst", I would occasionally list my worries and rank them.

I try really hard to embrace the thought..."the things you worry about most don't usually happen". But even though I've found that to be mostly true in the past, I still at times get at my "wits end" worrying about stuff - usually concerning others.

They say the Good Lord only gives us "what we can handle", but goodness, enough is enough.

It feels good to get this in writing, and I have to ask, do any of you feel this way?
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Yes... sure do feel like that... most times I can kick myself in the butt. But some days, it is just overwhelming. Glad it does good to write it down and get the burden unleashed if only for a bit. Hang in there, I believe things go the way they should, God will give us a path.... We just have to be open to following it. God Bless you!
 
Della said:
It's a popular misconception that God said he would not give us more than we can handle. What he actually said refers to temptations that we may be struggling against.

(Trigger warning for those seniors who get upset when the Bible is quoted.)

“No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.” (1 Corinthians 10:13)

Sadly, the world spins, we have freewill, and bad things happen to people. Sometimes we decide we would rather be dead than bear the pain any longer.

I have a relative who was out with her church's caroling group one Christmas Eve. Her husband and her only son were in the car ahead when a drunk driver struck them and they both died in front of her. A few years later she married again and she happily got pregnant, but the baby was still born. She was just a nice woman who helped others, I hate to hear people talk about Karma like it's a real thing and some people "deserve" it.

I think it's just the luck of draw while we're here on earth and I hope for something better in the after life.
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I'm glad you wrote the first sentence because I was about to... Della..

Millions of people are given more than they can handle. just like in your example Della.. and all the people who have horrendous pain from life limiting illness.. .. those who are murdered..tortured.. lose their families.. that's just a very small example of people being given more than they can cope with ...if it wasn't the case we wouldn't have the millions of suicides all around the world ...

The fact is @Mobilman44 .. many many of us have hardships and sorrows and worries that seem to engulf us at times. How you approach these things, how you address them , how you ask for help if they threaten to overwhelm you.. is how we all have to deal with them. It's that or go under like many others do...

Do feel free if it helps to talk about things which are worrying you.. on here.. if it would help you any.. there's so many very knowledgeable and also very wise people here, who may just be able to say something or give advice that would stop you stressing quite so much..
 
izi said:
sorry @hollydolly!

but it's my avatar -- deliberate -- and a reminder to myself from myself:

"All of us are creatures of a day; the rememberer and the remembered alike. All is ephemeral—both memory and the object of memory. The time is at hand when you will have forgotten everything; and the time is at hand when all will have forgotten you. Always reflect that soon you will be no one, and nowhere." ~ Marcus Aurelius.

sorry for causing you discomfort with this disconcerting blank avatar.
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oh ok...entirely up to you...:)
 
It's been one problem after another for me too, most of them relatively trivial, a few of them a bit more troublesome.
So far I've been able to resolve them, or enough so that they're relegated to a "managed" status.
Also, a lot of people have things a lot tougher than I've had.

Nevertheless, I'm still more of a worrier than I like. Every new little problem that crops up seems pretty alarming and dire to start with......I should probably cultivate more resilience, equanimity and self confidence........
 
I've often read how famous comedians had so many serious problems underneath their smiling faces. Robin Williams and Red Skelton and so many others come to mind.

My Wife and I go to lunch most every day, usually at the same 3-4 places. We know the staffs, and we always smile and make small talk with them and treat them very well. Many of them are pretty special to us.

Ha, I'm sure they look at us, and may well think we didn't have a care in the world, and our life was pretty much "perfect".

Well, my Wife and I know that couldn't be further from the truth, and it makes me/us realize that behind so many other smiling faces there may well be some serious worries and problems.
 
Radrook said:
So you are blessed with a wife to worry about if you die?

Reminds me of the saying:
I saw a boy weeping because he had no shoes.
Than I saw another weeping because he had no feet.
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I so agree, not that it minimalizes the pain felt by people when they're worrying or suffering... but it does often put things into perspective.


I remember many years ago...I'd been whining about how my house wasn't big enough for my needs and so on.. and one night I watched a documentary on homeless people.. ( long before the explosion of homeless we have now)... and those who are living in horrible overcrowded situations.... and I got a reality check that day, and I've never forgotten it...
 
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Mobilman44 said:
I've often read how famous comedians had so many serious problems underneath their smiling faces. Robin Williams and Red Skelton and so many others come to mind.

My Wife and I go to lunch most every day, usually at the same 3-4 places. We know the staffs, and we always smile and make small talk with them and treat them very well. Many of them are pretty special to us.

Ha, I'm sure they look at us, and may well think we didn't have a care in the world, and our life was pretty much "perfect".

Well, my Wife and I know that couldn't be further from the truth, and it makes me/us realize that behind so many other smiling faces there may well be some serious worries and problems.
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My parents used to do the same thing, go to lunch at the same place. One of the waitresses told them she had written an essay about them for one of her classes. When my mother died she came to her funeral. You and your wife are probably touching many people in the same positive way.
 
SeniorSally said:
I could be classified as a professional worrier. I’m very good at it. My husband says I look for something to worry about and I don’t dispute that one little bit.
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I think in all honesty I inherited worrying. I know it sounds mad, but my mum was a horrendous worrier. certainly she had a lot to be worried about but much of it was insurmountable so there was little she could do about it... but she worried so much she ended up suffering from severe depression.. thankfully I don't.. but I do worry about things that may never happen.

MY DD tells me this.. ''Mum it may never happen, if it does you deal with it then, but if you worry about it now, then you're causing yourself undue stress for potentially nothing''.. and she's right of course.. but my reply is if I got though life thinking it's all happy valleys and rainbows, I'm not going to be prepared to deal with it if the the sky does fall down on me..
 
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Radrook said:
So you are blessed with a wife to worry about if you die?

Reminds me of the saying:
I saw a boy weeping because he had no shoes.
Than I saw another weeping because he had no feet.
Click to expand...
Absolutely blessed. Have been for 62 years so far.

I don't understand how that saying applies to me, unless of course you are viewing my post with envy because you didn't find a partner & good fortune to spend a lifetime with.
 
Mobilman44 said:
This all may sound like a "poor me" lament, and maybe it is, although I don't intend it to be that way.

It seems that my life has always been filled with problems and worries - mostly about loved ones. It's like they never end, that when one does get resolved, another one pops up to take its place. I'm pretty sure I'm not alone in this, for a few friends have expressed similar thoughts. Ha, our mantra is "it's always something".

Believe me, I am well aware of others whose difficulties minimize mine, and I appreciate that. But dammit, it (retirement) wasn't supposed to be this way. I just don't recall my parents or older relatives having all the problems that seem to plague me and others.

I do know I am a "worrier", and that sure doesn't help my state of mind. When I was younger, being the "anal analyst", I would occasionally list my worries and rank them.

I try really hard to embrace the thought..."the things you worry about most don't usually happen". But even though I've found that to be mostly true in the past, I still at times get at my "wits end" worrying about stuff - usually concerning others.

They say the Good Lord only gives us "what we can handle", but goodness, enough is enough.

It feels good to get this in writing, and I have to ask, do any of you feel this way?
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When it comes to family, I haven't figured out how not to worry.
 
Mr. Ed said:
My point is stuff happens and it is all a part of life. When emotions cloud the fact of life and death we sometimes fail to understand it is all part of living and no one singled out for misbehaving. $##t happens…we shouldn’t take it personally
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So very wise today Mr Ed.
 
Knight said:
Absolutely blessed. Have been for 62 years so far.

I don't understand how that saying applies to me, unless of course you are viewing my post with envy because you didn't find a partner & good fortune to spend a lifetime with.
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The principle is intended to apply to everyone not just to you, as you and administration are assuming. So I guess I am envious of everyone to whom it applies. Right? LOL! BTW I have been happily married for 58 years now. So you are wrong!
 
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Knight said:
Absolutely blessed. Have been for 62 years so far.

I don't understand how that saying applies to me, unless of course you are viewing my post with envy because you didn't find a partner & good fortune to spend a lifetime with.
Click to expand...
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